Richard rented a house and moved in with his family. After paying rent for two years, his rent was increased from N400,000 to N500,000. He did not complain because he likes the house. The following year, he could not come up with the money and the agent was on his neck to make payment. His wife noticed what he was passing through and then decided to borrow the money for the husband.
Richard was indeed very happy and paid the house rent. Later, he paid back the money to the wife. Two years later the rent was increased from N500,000 to N700,000 and he became upset. He pleaded with the agent to introduce him to the landlord of the property in order to beg for a reduction in the rent, the agent bluntly refused.
Richard decided to investigate on his own only to discover that the house was actually owned by his wife. This revelation really shocked him and he was left reeling with so much anger and resentment.
If you were Richard, what will you do?
I am not surprised really as this has been the case in recent times. The world so much fraught with increased in gender equality and the continuous rise of the women folk wants to become ‘men’ in the society. Wives building houses with their husbands being unaware, buying cars, investing in so much and then the spouses are completely oblivious of all the heavy capital investments made by the wife.
I will always appreciate a very enterprising and wealthy wife; she will provide the necessary balance needed for nuclear family sustenance. However, it would be completely unwise to embark on a mission of continuous investment with your other half being totally unaware. While it could be deemed that the lady would be termed a successful wife, it is also important that care should be taken when it comes to issues that could strain the relationship in a family.
Believe me you, I would love my wife to acquire landed properties, ensure capital investments are being procured, but she should not do this behind my back. It is no big deal to me really whether my wife is wealthier or not (provided she is humble and not overly filled with too much pride that it gets into her head). What may be wrong is she doing all of these behind my back! The question I am going to ask is, why?
If she acquires these in her own name, why would she not bother to inform me, infact I would have expected that she informs me before she acquires, but whichever way it works, she needs to inform before/after these acquisitions.
A lot of women believe that for the sake of safety, to reduce resentment, and so that the husband would not think ‘she’ wants to take over as the head, she may decide to make all these acquisitions in secrecy. Although many women intends to make the husband aware of these later in life but what they did not really think about is the implications of these decisions if the husband eventually discover just like the case of Richard.
Let me quickly point it out that while we go about ensuring acquisitions because we want to be wealthier and have investments, we should not allow these to strain the relationship we have built in the family. An issue like the one above destroys a family more than it brings together.
When there is apparent lack of trust in a family, there would be stunted growth and development. We need to put the kids into consideration. What we do today is what they would understand as being right tomorrow. Men, continue to hold the forte as the man of the house by ensuring that the domestic responsibilities are being met.
Women should always learn and understand that the husband is the head of the family; at least that’s what the law and our culture says. Ensure you invest having the love of your family at heart, do not keep things like this away from your husband, it destroys than it fosters.
Carry your husband along in your decisions, your investments, and your projections. It is pretty essential.
We decided to advise Richard to forgive his wife and move on, she has shown remorse and explained why she has been receiving the money from her husband, and we eventually understood that she had fixed all the money received in the husband’s name in a bank.