Don’t Trust Your Feeble Feelings Detola Deedee Features, Lifestyle I read a story on Facebook earlier and I have not been able to get my mind off it. A friend had shared about a client. Apparently the client was battling cancer, and at the verge of death a lot of well meaning family and friends raised the money needed for his surgery for him. So he was flown out of the country for it. Upon getting to the country where the surgery was to be done, his brother had tried to get the said money transferred to the hospital, only to find out that access to the money had been blocked. So while he watched his brother suffered so much and ran around to find help, he contacted a friend here who is a lawyer to help investigate the matter. Well they found out that the sick guy’s amiable wife had actually instructed someone she’s owing that her husband has money, and upon a petition there was a caveat on that money. Apparently the husband had opened some businesses for her, which she had not only run down but also run into huge debts. And she decided that it was cool to inform one of the people she’s owing that a particular money was raised for her hubby and he can have it. Long story short, his wife knew he was sick and knew what that money was for, and still did that to him. Eventually the guy’s boss had borrowed him the money needed and the surgery was done. He returned back to Nigeria to find out that all he had was gone, the joint account with his wife, his properties, and one of his two cars sold while the wife was driving one around. So this sick guy returned back and was jumping bike around while still sick. Despite all this, her family never reached out to him…. The guy eventually died earlier this year, but he made it known that he has forgiven his wife and family…. Well, the rest is history… Why did I share this? That man’s story brought a little memory for me. You see about 2 years into my marriage with my ex-hubby, I was suffering from quite a number of skin issues due to lack of care. Then a friend, who is very much into skin treatments, had suggested I use Cinnamon and Honey to help with the facial aspect of it. She had sent me honey while I got the cinnamon from the local market. So I used it that afternoon. Unfortunately I didn’t know I was severely allergic to cinnamon. By evening my face and neck was swollen and I could barely breath. My ex returned home and found me in tears, and told me to go use palm oil… Long story short I was just an inch close to death. He had refused to take me to the hospital, and actually went to bed and slept like a baby while I was on the floor groaning, my face was swollen and my eyes were already closed, I could barely breathe. And the man who was suppose to be the love of my life actually went to bed…. Anytime I remember that, believe me I get goosebumps, especially remembering how upset the doctor was when I was finally taken in, I would have died if not for God keeping me. It took over 2 months for my face to heal and for me to be able to go out again, it was that bad. One of my best friend here, his eldest sister was used for ritual by her husband while she was pregnant. She had shared all her husband did to her shortly before she died. She died in her father’s hand. Neither him nor his families showed up. Her parents had to take her kids over to their place afterwards. It’s been almost 20 years, and neither him nor his parents ever showed up at their place to ask about those kids. Two months before my wedding with my ex, his mother had called requesting that I come over to see her one weekend. I had to take time off work to travel from Lagos to Osun State. The following morning, she and a strange man I’ve never seen before had taken me to a wilderness in Ede, dug the ground and washed my head. And I NEVER remembered enough to inform my Mum. It was almost as if the incident was erased afterwards. I just knew I was often very sick and the Doctors couldn’t diagnose what was wrong, despite being a very strong personal. Not until towards the end of the marriage, after my dear mother saw a revelation while praying, that I died and my dead body was brought to her. So she called our pastors, siblings and some of my friends, and they began to intercede for me. I believe that prayer is one of the reason I’m alive today. Fast forward to few days after I walked out of the marriage and was hospitalized at Subol hospital in Ikotun, with my family running around and friends hosting prayer chains, my exhubby’s family NEVER showed up. It was almost like they were expecting a call to say, hey, she’s dead. I’ve heard similar cases of men and women alike, and of course in recent times, we’ve all read and seen gory pictures of people who actually killed their spouses. You see why you can’t trust just your feeble feelings to guide you on who to date and eventually marry? I don’t care what modernization has done to us, and our silly need to feel among, you had better pray and pray hard too for God to open the eyes of your understanding to see someone for who they truly are. You had better talk to the Holy Spirit to help you to discern the innermost part of anyone you seek to spend the rest of your life with. No longer can you leave such decision to happenstance nor chances. Your life, your purpose, your dreams and your future, and yes your children, their dreams and future, the people whose own purpose in life depend on you following yours, all depend on the decision you make maritally As a woman, don’t be so busy daydreaming about a wedding day, that you neglect the person you’d be spending the married life with. As a man don’t be busy daydreaming about the endless food and sex in a marriage that you neglect the woman you’d be spending the married life with. Believe me, regardless of how purposeful and successful you are, marrying the wrong person will send all those things down the drain. And don’t let anyone fool you that you aren’t marrying a person’s family, they have as much a role to play, so pay attention to the kind of people they are. Look before you leap. And if God in His infinite mercy shows who a person or their family is, don’t go forming strong head. The same person that looks like heaven to you right now, can drag you through hell in a marriage. And the same person that seems like candy to your eyes, can end up being a poison to your soul. Except the Lord build a house, those who build, build but in vain. Proverbs 3:5-6. May God direct your path always. About the Writer – Eniola Mae Adeniji Ennmae is a certified Business, Relationship and Personal Development Coach. She is an industrialist and has a passion for helping small businesses grow. She specializes in Marketing Strategy Consulting, Branding, Digital Marketing and Content creation. She coaches individuals through relationship grief and helps them through the process of healing and going on to be a better person in life, in other to attract the right people into their lives. She brings her experience in life, work and relationship to help clients shift from being and living average to being and living an extraordinary life. 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