The effects of social media on relationships

The effects of social media on relationships, the good effects of social media on relationships, and the harmful effects of social media on relationships.

Believe me when I say the effects of social media on our relationships have come in huge and defeated all other conventional means of loving the man/ woman of your dreams.

Remember the days when we write love letters?  The anticipation of receiving the letters and excitement of reading and replying.

I am sure this part will be so YOU!!

How about that time where some of us with NITEL landlines in our houses anticipating the calls from the special someone that we love. For those of us without the landlines, I remember having to go to a friend’s house based on schedule to receive “LOVE CALLS”.

Social media:  Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp came and changed everything. Our perception, our thought process, our reasoning and our awareness level to nothingness increased. Most times I notice that people find it easy to rant, troll, seduce, and even pass love messages on social media than face to face. I also noticed a lot of exploitation and ‘what not’ on social media.

This post is not to really pass a confirmation of effects of social media on relationships, as I have seen amazing love stories on how people meet on social media, fall in love and eventually get married and live happily ever after.

However, after getting a lot of requests latest of which is one of my friends and fellow blogger who told me about how insecure she felt about her boyfriend’s relation with the effects of social media on relationships. I decided to make about the effects of social media on our romance and relationships.

I spoke with a lot of people; Social media Users, Bloggers and Online influencers. It is so sad that about 90% percent of those that I interviewed had negative things to say about the impact and effects of social media on their relationships.

This reminded me about the last relationship I had where my ex-girlfriend had to snoop on everything I did on social media, the people I chat with, the friends I talk to. It got to a point I became so addicted to Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and even Nairaland that it became the bone of contention and the bane of our fighting. Which eventually led to a lot of strains in our relationship.

I am sure a lot of people can relate to the above.

Some of us are so addicted to our mobiles and the Internet that social media is our new friend. Can you even blame us? Some of us live off social media. That is where our business is, online digital marketing, blogging, small time businesses.

The impact of social media on our everyday lives can not be over emphasized and the effects has sure been amazing,but bringing it to our relationships and romance, a lot of people have loads of things to say about this.

One of you had this to write:

My self and Bobo dated for 5 years and before I could say Jack Robinson, I noticed his interest in me started going down the drain. I mean, how can he find it so difficult to string up meaningful convo with me and then when I check his profile on Instagram and Facebook, I see new posts every other minutes and he wouldn’t even find time to hang out with his girlfriend. Who does that?

The week before we broke up, I had an accident on my way to Lagos from Benin and was admitted into the Hospital for a week. Guess what happened? He was busy liking pictures on Facebook and Instagram yet I was in the hospital receiving treatment.

Men! I called the relationship off.

In this case, What do you call the above? Is it a case of the social media apps or the my friend’s boyfriend ? I quite empathize with her on this one, because a lot of guys have been carried away with the different things and people they see as it lead to the dangerous effects of social media on relationships. A very sensitive and mature boyfriend should know and understand that the girlfriend comes first because all sorts of social media razzmatazz.

I also got this one from another friend:

She keeps uploading pictures of herself and guys on social media. I felt so concerned about this and usually I talk to her about it. I am a little jealous though and I know it, but then do you need to fuel it by being together with guys? Not that she does one or two guys though, Week in, Week out I see her hang out with different guys. Come on! I may be a little over the top with this, but then I am human and extremely sensitive which makes me a little bit insecure!

She is my girlfriend for God’s sake. My feelings have to matter to her.

This message from my friend really hit me on the spot, because I used to do this a lot until I stopped. I mean jealousy is part of our relationships and it is quite understandable if my friend is jealous as this is an okay thing. Occasional jealousy deepens the romance in a relationship. Yes!

If your lover discovers that his/her social media attitude and affiliations affects or hurts you, then there is the need to do things that will end the hurt. Hey Guys, if your girlfriend is doing the above, there is a need for heart to heart discussion. You better know where you both are headed before she cheats on you!

You know what happened eventually?

She cheated on my friend! We both saw it coming anyway!

So use this post as a leverage and have a tete-a-tete with her.

This also came from one of you:

Social media causes a lot of distractions. People pay unnecessary attention what they do not posses instead of really being thankful for the gifts they have. It is really saddening. A lot of people forget that time is money and it is the most valuable ingredient in romance and relationships, and it is time we go back to investing time in our relationships.

It baffles me when people worry and bother so much about others think and not on their own selves and relationships. Why not focus on your relationships? Why make life and love so hard?

The effects on social media on relationships is really huge. It takes a chunk of time off us. Valuable time that we should spend on meaningful and constructive things. It is so evident in the post above as the lady in question was clamoring for more attention from her boyfriend, yet Boo is busy getting busy with other people’s affairs online. Time is very key in a relationship and time lost can not be recovered. Life is crazy short! Spending more time on social media than on your relationship is just a NO NO!

Don’t carry another person’s load on your head to simply carry yours like an handbag. Prioritize!!

A friend also had this to write:

The effects of social media on relationships has its good side and bad side. Yes!

For those in a long distance relationship, it’s a way of keeping tabs on happenings around your partner. That’s for those who are active online.

By keeping tab I don’t mean snooping for wrong doing. Just getting a feel of events that you would have probably been present for; pictures, videos and all.

However on the nay nay side…

There are those who can’t even let go of their phone to have a meaningful one on one conversation with their partner.

They are sitting right there with you and at every beep (not a phone call) you pick up your phone to check the latest comment/post.

Some don’t even have anything reasonable to discuss anymore except posts that has been making wave. Indirectly, it’s amebo talk that makes up your conversation. Cos those posts are happening in other people’s lives and you are sitting there discussing about it with your partner.

The point is, people love to be online more than they love been in company of the significant other. Well, except in the other room where there’s no space to be online and offline same time

See eh, I hung out with a group of people yesterday… Out of 7 of us… 3 were on the phone, checking comments,posts, discussing comments from people at interval… Meanwhile we are supposed to be gisting oh

I tire…

People no longer discuss sensible things aside who said what and why what was said

I mean, there is nothing wrong about discussing a post say about issues of domestic violence… But why will you be discussing, how this your friend now made this comment, than you replied to out them in line or call them to other and how a clap back happened and then it resulted in a sub by John Doe… Huh???

While relationships helps you with keeping tabs on your partner, you shouldn’t over do things. Spending time unnecessary over what not does not make you a good lover!

As mentioned earlier, time is very key in bringing together valuable togetherness and fostering better relationships.Why spend time trolling on the internet and social media when you can dedicate such amount of energy on your loved ones! You will lose more than you gain eventually anyway!

A friend finally had this to write:

The effects of social media on relationships. Social Media has been helpful for people in relationship to communicate faster, frequently and better…

The chats. Instagram Video Calls.. Snap chat

The duo in the relationship may be far from each other, but yet they can still share current moments together.

I have been able to share live moments because of social media with my friends

However, this should not take the place of seeing one on one as the case may be

Also, In Social media, some folks live fake life… Someone who’s not contented with His boo or bae may be tempted to be swayed by another interest who looks tapping only on Social media. People should not decide based on fine posts on social media but what they see and hear in real life..

People `live fake lives on social media, and the moment they get you to key into their fake lives, you get sucked in and obsessed, and that’s it. Every other thing becomes less important to you to the point of getting carried away. Leaving to lose focus of more important things, focusing on the less.This is not to say that social media does not help in deepening existing long distance relationships and does not have his positives as mentioned by my friend above. It is really key to use social media to enhance positivity in your relationship and not destroy your relationships.

What do you think about the above comments? Are they on point? Do you have comments to make on the effects of social media on relationships? We need to give this topic more depth as it is!

What are the effects of social media on relationships. How has it affected your relationship? I can’t wait to have your thoughts on this!