THE IMPORTANCE OF HONESTY IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP Detola Deedee Lifestyle, Relationship Hacks, Soul Lounge 1 Honesty creates a platform for trust in a relationship. When you have a partner that is very plain about things and situations, you feel better, more secured because of the trust you have created. Honesty breeds trust which culminates into reliance on your partner. The importance of honesty in a relationship between lovers cannot be overemphasized as it should be the bane of every long lasting relationship. Trust is a very key ingredient in a lasting relationship and honesty breeds it! In a world riled with so much imperfections, honesty helps you build a relationship with that solid foundation in an imperfect world. My question is, why is it even so difficult to have a relationship laid on honesty, why is it so easy for people to fabricate lies than just sit to deliver the truth as it comes? I was with my friend Kelvin last week and he told me about when he had to lie to his fiancée – Sheila that he was with his Mom when he was actually at a club with a couple of friends, when he ought to have been with his girlfriend as agreed during the week! To Kelvin, that white lie may not much of a big deal, and to his girlfriend, Kelvin is an angel who speaks the truth all the times. He is so trustworthy. What came to my mind was, what if Sheila had that opportunity to visit the club with her friends too, since both love to party and since she wasn’t seeing Kelvin that week, she could as well decide to hang with friends Let’s paint a scenario here; assume she went to the same club and she bumped into the same Kelvin who claimed to be with Mom! Where is the honesty? Where is the trust in a relationship that may be dubbed as a complete relationship? To a lot of us, white lies might seem no ‘biggie’ since it is important to keep certain things away from our partners, however, have we bothered to ask ourselves how many white lies alone we have said this month? Have we looked at the impact and repercussions of these lies to the foundation of our relationship? What if your partner realizes that all that he/ she built the relationship on was just a lie! Some of us believe that sparing our partners from what may lead to negative responses may be good. But looking at that relationship on the long term and considering the fact that you have always lied to make your partner continue to trust, imagine the effect of our partners knowing the truth on the foundation of the relationship! Some girls have come into my Instagram DM to tell me they trust their partners, I laugh and say to trust is easy anyway, but what is the basis of the trust you have for your partner? Truth or Lies? Hmmmn! There is nothing like protecting your partner from the truth. Your act of protection with dishonesty would do more damage than whatever you were trying to protect your partner from. This could hamper your relationship; keeping the truth from your lover. Complete honesty is the best, if you can’t be honest with your partner, then why make the decision to spend the rest of your life with such person? You can’t claim to love without being honest with him/her. We have heard a lot disheartening stories around us, where the guy will refuse to tell his partner the truth about his health issues or job or other relevant situations which later turned to disaster when the partner found out. I am sure some of you reading this post would have had experiences of being lied to! Yea? How did you feel when that happened; deflated, defeated, disappointed and even more; heartbroken? When you say you want to protect your partner, by telling lies, you might actually be creating more damage than obvious, wrecking havoc to a relationship you think was built on solid friendship. Honesty exposes your vulnerability and the wonderful part of you at the same time, and so, a partner who notices this and is completely honest with you brings a lot of comfort to your relationship. There and then, both of you know that you can trust the completeness of your togetherness. Honesty helps you to figure out yourselves intimately and enhances the ability to live with certain flaws and imperfections! Trust me, honesty helps you deal with the bigger issues when they come, when the tough times come, only the honest and tough people deal. Honesty gives you the strength and energy to deal with situations that may want to override the foundation of your relationship! It enhances your emotional maturity as you move on with your love life! Why destroy a relationship with petty lies when you know bigger issues are coming along the way, issues that would threaten your emotional strength? When the tough times come, honesty that breeds understanding and trust would be what you have to stand time’s test! Honesty helps to improve your sense of commitment. A lot of us just go into relationships because we want to be counted as lovers, unconcerned whether there is the need to really commit or not. The moment you start being honest with your lover, you both begin to see life as complete friends with a near perfect relationship. This allows you look at your directions and plans going into the future. Honesty helps you to re-evaluate yourself and your convictions. Honesty helps to finalize emotional decisions on the long term. When you are honest with your partner, you would be able to confirm whether he/she is really ready to commit or just tagging along. Honesty will help you differentiate short term happiness from real contentment. Your decision to be honest is a smart and wise decision which takes you on a lifelong path to wiser and smarter decisions. You should know that the importance of relationship between lovers cannot be overemphasized. Apart from the fact that honesty breeds trust, it also breeds respect. Based on our earlier story: Imagine if Kelvin had told Sheila he intended to hang out with some friends at a club and subtly explained the reasons behind cancelling their time out, and Sheila decides to go clubbing with friends too and met Kelvin with his friends as well. They could club together and have fun as much as they want to. Sheila begins to love, trust and respect her man more, as a result of his honesty. You must be able to think through your decisions in a relationship and the tremendous impact complete honesty would have on our relationships! Think honesty, think healthy relationships. Honesty increases soul and relationship security. Everyone craves security in his/ her relationship. The fact that you are plain and incredibly honest creates the platform that would make your relationship secure and also your partner believe in the relationship vision. We usually have cases where some lovers believed they have invested so much to back out of a relationship fraught with so much dishonesty. It is very important to be honest with your partner, as honesty leads you to a brand new level of acceptance and closeness in the relationship. When your partner sees and realizes your honesty, he/she feels more secure that you are really being honest and the relationship is on a path that leads to emotional righteousness. There should be a lot of tenderness when it comes to being honest. Honesty should be your anthem and not just a relationship behavior. Honesty treads on all bad and ensures the richness of love and being loved. Recently, I read a story somewhere where the lady lied to the husband she was a virgin and at the night of the wedding, the husband was utterly disappointed when he found out that she had been deflowered. He wasn’t actually disappointed because she was not a virgin, but due to the fact that she lied. You can guess the end of the story, everything changed at that instance, he felt cheated and wondered why she had to lie to him. He questioned every other thing she had said to him from way back. If not for the will to withstand the heat associated with dishonesty and the fact that the husband was God fearing, he withstood the time and decided to love the wife for whom she was. Everything would have been a different story. Nothing good comes out of lying to your spouse or saying half baked truth, it pays to be totally honest. If he/she can’t cope or withstand your honesty or anything about you, then she/he is not worth spending your life with. Remember, honesty breeds trust, trust leads to emotional maturity, emotional maturity breeds commitment and then commitment breeds a relationship that is bound to withstand the test of time. Grab the honesty cradle today, because: You lose all closeness with dishonesty You create loopholes in your relationship with dishonesty Dishonesty leads to hurt and insecurity Dishonesty leads to heartbreak I look forward to receiving the very best relationship news from you as you tighten your relationship lines and establish the route to emotional fulfillment for you and your partner. All the best as you increase the fire of Love! Yours In Love Deedee One Response MoonWalker October 10, 2016 You really did yourself! Proud of you. Yh, Honesty is really important in relationships and also as a way of life. It brings about trust and changes almost everything. It’sa deal breaker for me in a relationship and friendship. http://www.moonwalkertalks.blogspot.com Reply Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.