Before I dote over you dear, let me quickly say this; if for any reason you come later than you would have wished, the fault is largely your mum’s.
Howso? You may wonder. Well, in line with the fatherly love I have nurtured for you even before your conception, I have concluded that the greatest gift I can bequest my first seed is to make him/her come through the best possible mum. Now if you’ve got the brains of your dad I also expect you to query how I intend to find out the best mum for you when in fact you are still in where ever it is unborn babies abode. Now that’s a fine question and I’m proud of your inquisitivity. There are many best mums in the world. That’s one thing you need to understand. My mum is sure to heaven the best mum and I have heard my friends say the same of theirs’. Everybody claims their mum is the best woman after Virgin Mary. Of course, everyone can’t be right. The truth is, we can only have one best mum per siblings. My own special way of ensuring you get yours is to marry the woman I have fallen in love with when I had nothing. It is a bit complex to comprehend for your little brain but marrying a woman I’m sure I shall be happy with is the best way to guarantee you the best mum in the world. Trust me, all other factors are secondary.
Dear unborn child, do you have any idea how frustrating it is to think I have finally inched closest to finding you that mother only for her to tell me she’s got proximity issues ? *shaking my head. I had to google the phrase. Not as if it helped matters though. But I promise you I won’t relent as I am convinced she is the best mum I can get you in the arrays of ladies in my friend circle. I know I once promised you the most beautiful lady with big breast…lol. okay, I was been selfish then and thinking more about me.
Baby, can you hear me. Will you put in a word for me? Will you tell her I knew it was her the very moment I saw her? Will you tell her this is as important a decision for me as it is for her? Will you tell her her intelligence crippled my physical fantasies of women with big jugs? Will you tell her in her I know lies the strength in my weakness. Will you tell her unusual story makes me see the strength in her person, hence my fascination? Will you ask her what she thinks my motives are if not something beyond casual ? Can you make her understand if this was about some immediate gratification, I have enough common sense to be discouraged by the distance between us ? Will you find out how she feels about me ?
I’m sorry I’m given you unnecessary tasks jor…. the mum I’m planning for you is driving me crazy. Maybe this ain’t your letter honey. Sounds more like I’m whining….. You know what dear? Lemme take care of where you’ll come from…it will make my next letter less complainful. I’m really sorry to have disturbed your peace at this moment.
Stay patient and good. Ogbeni La loves you to a fault.
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