We had a family re-union in our family house last month. It was fun, all my cousins were around, reminding me of how we were when we were kids. My eldest brother came with his wife and their 2 months old baby, my elder brother came with his wife and my younger sister came with her fiance. My married cousins too came with their spouse.
Then there was me, with no girlfriend and in my late twenties. The women in my family started asking questions, obviously concerned.
‘Deedee, where is your girlfriend’
‘Deedee, when are you getting married’
‘Deedee, you are a master of the art, you should have loads, bring one home will you?’
Everyone acting like, I have a problem with being single. My folks did not help matters as well, sneaking on my calls and wanting to know about every girl that calls me. Creepy, isn’t it?
Is being single in my late twenties really a terrible thing? The simple answer is NO!
There is nothing bad in having someone who understands your awesomeness and wants to be with you along the way, but if that special girl isn’t here yet, then being single isn’t as bad as people portray.
To begin with, you need time to be you, to be selfish
For me, other than work, tdeedeesblog and photography, I don’t need to be on a particular routine. Don’t you know how it feels to be free, and alive to make whatever choices and do whatever it is you want to do?
This is the best time in your life to make choices, mistakes and learn. This is the time to do anything you want to do, when you want to do them. No obligations, no strings.
This is the time for you to grow, to focus on your dreams and aspirations. This is the time to learn to put the mechanics of your plans into motion. Having a relationship means you have someone to take care of, someone you should provide full details of your achievements and goals.
Before you can begin to take care of another, you need to take care of yourself first. Understand your priorities and secure your career and future. What is the point of having a relationship when you haven’t even dealt with yourself properly? Your twenties is the only time in your life where you’ll be able to focus only on yourself.
Your ability to combine your experiences as you hit the threshold of your late twenties with your budding career will make you a bachelorto be craved for. As you grow in your early twenties, into mid and late, you make mistakes.
Better for you to make mistakes on your own and learn than making with someone and dragging that innocent individual into your mess; passing all your responsibilities to that person? Your late twenties build you into becoming a man, to mature, to make mistakes and learn. Having someone by your side gives you an unnecessary sense of responsibility.
The ability to be careless and get away with it or the onus to make mistakes and learn brings forth a manly man.
You get the very best of life.
There are so many times when we allow the fear of being alone to make us rush and get some pretty Barbie. Dele my friend complained to me late 2014 that he was scared of being too old to have a decent relationship.
I responded, ‘are you for real? Where is your confidence? You are smart and you’ve got things going well for you. Your dreams are falling into place. You get a couple of ‘1 night stand’ You make mistakes and have learned, do you think ‘all’ of this might be possible when you know you have to be careful about certain risks you take and decisions you make because you have;someone you are responsible to?’ oh come on!
Now Dele is happily married to the most beautiful girl ever after working on being ready for the life after his late twenties.
Enough of the side talks, family complaining, friends probing, colleagues jesting. Whatever their schools are? Let them keep learning there. You have created your options and it will make you better.
Work on yourself, take advantage of your singleness, lean on positivity, match your strength with dreams and passion, leverage the consciousness of being alone to think straight and have fun while at it. You will be ready, and you will see.
Your twenties are a very crucial and critical period in your life, these years prepare you for the rest of of your time. You don’t have to think of anybody as you get your life in order. Invest in yourself and figure out who you are. There is a unique confidence that grows in you when you have achieved all and then you are know you are very ready.
Yours in Love