My girlfriend is always having this argument with me; asking me why I still keep connected to my exes, why are they on my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram handles. I told her that I do not think there is nothing wrong with being connected with former girlfriends and acquaintances.
She is one babe that is very particular about who I connect with both online and offline; Especially ladies. I laugh it off anyway. She never know anything, in this line of work/business, you need to be patient with your man when it balls down to ladies and women, anyway this is gist for another day. LOL
Social media is changing our attitude to life. The way we connect with people, how we build our romance, Social media has really impacted on our relationships, either positively or negatively. One noticeable thing about social media is that it has facilitated the inter-connection of our past relationships with the current one.
Are you confused as to what I mean? Hold on!
Social media has given the opportunity for us to connect with our Exes either we like it or not. Imagine when you have your Exes on all your social media handles, in terms of being friends with your EX even when you are in a new relationship, is this a good idea? Even if we say it isn’t, social media in one way or the other connects us all being like a global village. Now tell me, is this actually bad too?
For me, staying connected to my Ex isn’t a bad idea, provided the intention is a good one. I am sure a lot of us now understand and can actually relate to this topic.
A lot of things should be considered if you want to be connected to your former alliances. It will be very important to determine if he/she is over you or not. You want to know why? Connection on social media enable your Ex to know virtually everything about you. On a good day,you may not want him or her to know everything about you, however social media does that to you and your relationship which may lead your boyfriend or girlfriend being uncomfortable about this situation.
You also need to consider what actually happened that led to the breakup. Did it end so bad? Or it was a mutual agreement between both of you. These will determine whether he/she should remain in your life or not. I mean, why ghost your former babe or man when you actually decided to leave your relationship mutually.
A lot of our partners are not comfortable with this, ask your boyfriend or girlfriend, I’m sure the fact that they haven’t spoken about it doesn’t mean they are cool with it. It is pertinent that you discuss this with your partner.
If you are not comfortable with your boyfriend or girlfriend having his/ her ex on her social media handles, then you need to discuss with him/her to understand the reasons behind the decision.You need to understand ‘why’? You can begin to confirm certain things like ‘why the break up in the first place’, this will reveal the particular motive behind the acceptability of that decision. You need to also determine whether he/ she is completely over that ex?
You know the funny thing as men is that we don’t really care whether our ex remains on our handles or not, ‘masculinity things’. However most ladies are quite skeptical when it comes to their partners having their Exes on the social media handles. They begin to feel so very insecure and concerned. Therefore it is important to discuss this and put behind all situations that could lead to distrust.
I do not see any reason why I shouldn’t keep my partner on my handles anyway. But as you know, relationship is not just your thing. You need to consider your partner as well. She needs to be secure in the hope that you are doing the right thing and ensuring that she continues to trust you and respect your decisions.
Discuss, discuss, dialogue and discuss. It is very key!
Having said that, I am sure there are some of us with such situations in our current relationship. Do you have your EX on your list on Facebook, Twitter, IG or other handles? Was your partner concerned? How did you deal with it?
Drop your experience below, let’s discuss together.
Yours in Love….Deedee