Your Mind and Your Relationship Detola Deedee Features Your Mind and Your Relationship: I doubt if we will ever be able to comprehend the impact of the mind in everything we do. The mind is just an interesting faculty. Even in your relationship, the state of your mind has a very important part to play. What you have programmed into your mind, whether consciously or unconsciously, will affect how you interpret things. And how you interpret things will determine the value and experience. That is why two people can be in exactly the same condition, one will be happy the other will be sad. It all has to do with what they have programmed into their minds and how they are interpreting the situation. I heard recently about a Facebook community where married women are lamenting about having to support their husbands financially in the home. The lady actually used the word “frustrating.” That it can be frustrating for a woman to be bringing money to support her husband simply because the husband cannot afford to take care of all the financial responsibilities. This is not another person you are supporting. This is your husband whom you made vows to be with through thick and thin. This is not another person’s home you are supporting. This is your own home. Your own children. Still, you are feeling frustrated for having to support frustrated in maintaining the home. Can you see how deep the erroneous programming that it is the man that is responsible for providing for the home has eaten deep into the fabric of our minds? Meanwhile another woman out there, without being asked, the moment she realizes that her husband is low on cash immediately steps up to cover up. “This is our home. I cannot allow anyone to see our nakedness. Not when I am the wife.” She says to herself. Same situation. Different interpretation. It suddenly dawned on me why Jesus said you cannot serve God and money. Why money? Why not you cannot serve God and the devil? Why did he put money in the equation? Because our attitude when it comes to money reveals our true selves. I have gotten a lot of responses since I started this discourse. Every single person who has been married for a while, between 10 to 30 years of marriage, said they have jointly footed the financial bills of the home with their spouses and they gladly did it because it was their home. I have come to the conclusion that until you are one with your spouse in the area of money, you are not truly one. And that is why a lot of marriages are shaky. There is nothing wrong if the man bears all the financial burden of the home when he has the financial power. There is also nothing wrong if the woman bears all the financial burden of the home if she has the financial power. The home is his as well as hers. Contrary to the popular teaching that it is the duty of the husband to provide for the home, I am telling you that it is not. It is not the duty of any of the spouses to provide for the home. It is the duty of both of them. Not only is the responsibility for both of them. The responsibility is “equally” on both of them. Whoever has more money at the time should take care of the higher portion of the financial burden. (Please don’t tell me I am encouraging the men to be lazy. That is so absurd. If you are married to a lazy man, you are already married to a lazy man, don’t put it on me.) If God has blessed you as a woman and you earn thrice as much as your husband, why should you not be happy to take up a higher portion of the bill? Has God not blessed you to support your home? If God has blessed you as a man and you can take care of the financial responsibility a hundred percent, why should you not gladly do so? Has God not blessed you to support your home? The thinking that because one person has a penis, he automatically has to take care of all the financial burden is not scriptural. Not one verse of the bible supports that. It is simply a misinterpretation of a bible verse. Instead of feeling frustrated that you are supporting your husband financially, why not rejoice that you have a home to support in the first place? Is it not a blessing to have a home of your own? Why not rejoice that while your husband is not financially able at the moment, God has blessed you with the means to cover his nakedness? Is it not a blessing to have the money to support your home? Stop associating with people who tell you otherwise. People whose counsel will drive peace away from your home. Change your thinking and what you are looking at will change. About the Writer - Mute Efe Mute Efe is the tribe leader of The Leadership Tribe. A Facebook community with over 14,000 members with the vision of raising global leaders. Mute is also an accomplished author with the following books under his belt: 1. The Beautiful Life 2. Get Naked Questionnaire 3. Are You Like Most People? 4. Why Bad Things Happen To Good People 5. What They Don't Tell You About Mentoring. A graduate of Electrical Electronics Engineering, a Certified Safety Professional and also certified in Basic and Advanced Leadership. Mute is Married to Priscilla and resides in Lagos, Nigeria. Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.