Paid Dating? What does that mean?
My interview with an Instagram follower who schools in one of the Universities in Lagos State.
She continued:
‘All I know is that you go out and they give you 30k for coming. I’ve not been there but I’ve been invited by my friends.
I couldn’t go because I don’t LIKE leaving Lagos. The people pick their choices. It’s like a lounge or bar, not really sure. Then, you go and DANCE, and get your money after the whole night. I don’t know who requests for my friends though. I did not ask! I sha know they are MEN!’
Paid dating is a new classy trend where Nigerian girls get profiled, and then picked by Nigerian men to be used as dates or escorts for events and outings.
It has been insinuated in different quarters that paid dating is different from Sugaring; where young girls and guys are hooked up with older men and women for some sort of sex work – A very common activity in Nigeria that became a trend. Ask University guys and girls, they know better.
What baffles me really is that, IS PAID DATING REALLY DIFFERENT FROM SUGARING?
With the increasing pressure and societal backlash on Sugaring, and more so that a lot of Sugar babies are beginning to consider the shame of being found out by family and friends to be Sugar for Daddies and Mummies, now evolved to Paid dating.
While prostitution is merely transaction based; pay me and let’s get down with it, everyone leaves happy. Paid dating adds a whole new level to the game.
Stringing meaningful conversation, enjoying material gifts, hanging out with influential people and having the meaningful poise and guile to make heads roll seem much to be the requisite to be a good paid dater.
I am sure you are finding this interesting already.
How does this really work?
According to an interview with a club manager in one of the top night clubs in Lagos:
‘Buyers (men/ women in need of a dater or escort) approaches a middleman ( not PIMP though); a guy or lady who provides young and older men with girls and guys (sellers). These prospective sellers then send their pictures via social media to the prospective buyer and then a match is made.’
Match is usually dependent on beauty, class and carriage of the prospective date/ escort. Thereafter, buyers then chats middleman to conclude on the availability of the preferred match by making an OFFER.
You are shocked? Hold on, there is still more!
There are also rules to the paid dating/ escort process:
Rule 1: I pay for your time, you follow me to a social gathering as a date or an escort **no strings attached**
Rule 2: If you behave and comport yourself well at the first meet/ date/ event, you get TIPPED by the offeror.
While a lot of people have validated paid dating and escorting as being a legitimate job devoid of sexual and other intimate acitivities that could lead to it being termed sugaring or prostitution and further that paid dating has been accepted in the US through Whatsyourprice.com, there is no true justification that something else does not go on, in the background.
How do you just accompany a man/ woman out on a first date, just as a figure head or date escort to be paid a large amount of money! In our present day, Nigeria? Beats me!
If I approach a supposed middleman for a young girl as escort and date with the plan to ‘PAY’ her for escorting, how logical does this really sound and what kind of escort will a young lady and guy be to a man.
Escort service should be done by security personnel who are skilled and competent enough to act as escorts.
I can agree with the fact that PAID dating might not be the new form of prostitution in Nigeria, however the following questions are what begs to be answered:
– To what extent of bargaining will there be between the buyer and the seller of a paid dating service. Is there a fixed price already?
– How will the buyer enjoy the money paid even with the extra ‘TIPS’ based on good behavior and how does the seller maximize gain in this process
– How do both parties manage perceptions and expectations especially where money is involved
– What infact forms the basis of behaving well?
I am very sure that by now, finding answers to these seemingly obvious questions, will make you think twice about the practicality and reasonableness of PAID DATING.
But then, I leave the conclusion to YOU!
It is suffice to say though that nowadays, you see everyone participating in one or two online dating service, and they claim they get paid for joining an online dating service. Hmmmn!
Now is the time to shine your eyes! Your girlfriend, sister, niece, nephew might just be the paid dater and paid escort for one Pot-Bellied Senator or Businessman.
Has paid dating come to stay? Is this the new form of prostitution? I leave the answers to YOU!
2 Comments
Nakas
April 9, 2018 at 11:09 amInteresting… I’ve never heard of such. I know of escort services but not this kind. Like you said, what makes it seem not so bad is the fact that sex isn’t involved. However the questions you raised are really questions to think about. How does it work? How do you as the seller know what the buyer expects of you? How do you even know you delivered well. What’s involved during the whole escort?
Quite an interesting one.
Detola Deedee
April 9, 2018 at 11:19 amVery interesting indeed Nakas. Those questions are sincerely begging for answers.
Thank you for dropping by.