Ogbeni La’s Musings – Marry That Friend You Are Not Dating

When they tell you to marry your friend, it doesn’t necessary mean you should marry the lady or guy you’ve been dating for years. In fact, it is better to end up in matrimony with a friend of many years than a partner of many years. Except if like me you treat all relationships as friendship. This is it. When you’re in a relationship that has the potential to transform into courtship and marriage, the chances are that your partner would keep stuffs from their past which in their wisdom could obviate the metamorphosis from you.

Women are the more guilty of this phenomenon. I am not pointing an accusing finger. I am merely stating the fact. And you can’t blame them, after all we all seek security. When it comes to security, women are far more conscious than men. The reason is simple. They are more vulnerable. The society is not forgiving of an erring woman when it comes to morality issue. And so you have women being better secret keepers than men. Especially about their past. Forget the illusion that they are gossips. A woman only reveals as much as she wishes and for a definite purpose.

So as a rule, when it comes to revealing the past, a woman never tells the whole truth. Never. 99 percent of women do not tell the absolute truth to their partners about how they lost their flower. It doesn’t matter how understandably juvenile the tale is. Perhaps it is lame for a man to show interest in such tale in the first place. But for those who are always curious, they should never expect exactness. How can women be plain with their past when there’s no assurance on how the man would receive it? Who exposes themselves to such unnecessary hazard? Who gifts certainty for uncertainty?

I have female friends I know inside out. They keep nothing from me because we have no expectation of a happily ever after hence zero alibi to keep secrets . I know their flaws. It is easy to deal with what you know. Same can not be said of what is kept from you.