The Impact of Education in Relationship: I don’t intend breaking any table with this. The objective is to fix the table. Because the table that a lot of money are standing on is already broken.
If I had gone to the village to pick a wife who never saw the four walls of a classroom, and she came to my house with the mindset that I, the man, will go to work every day and return home with money while she does the cooking and manufacturing of babies for me, it will be understandable. She was never educated so it will be unfair to expect much from her.
What I cannot deal with is a lady who has been through the university system insisting that it is the job of the man to provide all the money the home needs. That as a woman she is not expected to make any financial contribution. Somehow, my mind is unable to rationalize that mindset.
What impact did your education play if you are working and earning, yet insisting that your husband must be the one to meet all financial needs in the home because he is the one with the penis and you are the one with the vagina?
Of what use is the education you were given? How are you different from the village girl who never saw the four walls of a classroom. As far as I am concerned you are not making use of your education at all.
The whole essence of being educated is not even to get a job after graduating. It is to enable us think for ourselves and come up with the best solutions for problems.
You know that what your husband earns monthly can only do so much. Is it not common sense that together with what you earn you can do much more and the home will be better for it?
When the generator is running and it provides electricity for the home, does it matter who provided the money that bought the fuel? Is it not for the benefit of the home?
When Junior’s school fees are paid and he can get a good education, does it matter who paid the school fees? Is Junior not a child of both the man and the woman?
What is this rubbish I hear of a group where married women are complaining about supporting their husbands for the upkeep of the home?
Not that the man folded his hands and refused to work. It’s just that with your support, the home will be better for it. Shouldn’t you gladly do that? Is it not your home as much as it is his?
Before you say I am absolving the man of his responsibilities, I am not. I am saying the responsibility to keep the home running is for both the husband and the wife. The home is for both of you.
What if you are married to a yam head who does not want to work hard? Well, that is your lot. You chose him as much as he chose you. When he asked that you marry him, you said yes. So you share an equal part of the blame.
That is the more reason I advise young people to marry right and save themselves from a lot of trouble. Damage control is hard and draining once you’ve missed it at the entry point.
One tool that can help you is the Get Naked Questionnaire. I know because it helped me. Questions around this issue were captured in the questionnaire, so my wife and I answered them before we got married.
And that has helped us avoid a lot of the issues many marriages face. A N1,500 investment in the questionnaire can save you from a life time of pain and struggles. Send a WhatsApp message to 08038749796 if you want to have the questionnaire.
The bottom line of this is, times are changing very fast. This is not the time to say it is the wife that must be at home to cater for the baby. Whoever is at home should cater for the baby.
This is not the time to say the wife must resign to take care of the child. If one person must resign to pay attention to the children, let the one with the lower income do that. You need money to take care of the children. It does not make you less of a man or a woman.
This is not the time to say the man must be the one to provide for the home financially. There is no law that said that. Not even in the bible. The home belongs to both the man and the woman. Both of you should make it work.
As long as there is something you can contribute to the success of the marriage and betterment of the home, do it. It is your home.
It is by doing these things that you show that you are educated. These are what separates you from the village girl who never saw the four walls of a classroom.
About the Writer - Mute Efe
Mute Efe is the tribe leader of The Leadership Tribe. A Facebook community with over 14,000 members with the vision of raising global leaders. Mute is also an accomplished author with the following books underhis belt:
1. The Beautiful Life
2. Get Naked Questionnaire
3. Are You Like Most People?
4. Why Bad Things Happen To Good People
5. What They Don't Tell You About Mentoring.
A graduate of Electrical Electronics Engineering, a Certified Safety Professional and also certified in Basic and Advanced Leadership. Mute is Married to Priscillia and resides in Lagos, Nigeria.
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