Marriage be responsible for what comes next – Relationships will work better if individuals understand what it means to take responsibility instead of allotting blames and positioning faults.
I once said, people should learn to ask questions before reacting.
While you may not be the cause of a problem, the moment you decide to respond or react to that situation, you become responsible for it. It’s as simple as a Judge who has to give a judgement irrespective of his naivety of the case brought before him. He isn’t the victim, the suspect, the defendant or prosecutor, yet because he understands the long term effect of his judgement, he is careful enough not to strike a chord where it won’t produce the right melody.
Ever wondered why people say ‘you are responsible for what you say or do and not what you think’?
It is because until your thought becomes an action it’s just a thought. You’d have had to process it before you choose how to proceed. The problem is already a problem, how you solve it, or not is your responsibility.
Look at yourself in the mirror and ask if violence solves a problem? Guess you already know it doesn’t, simple answer. Now ask yourself if the easy way is always the right way out, answer is no, but you are so conscious of that truth you’re scared to admit it. The moment you know that sometimes you’d get angry, overreact or even storm off your partner’s presence and you embrace its possibility, you become more responsible in your approach.
Alas! This is why relationships and marriages fail, spouses think so highly of themselves at the expense of their partners. If anyone isn’t getting it right, they don’t think it’s them. When last were you bold enough to own up to a fault and be responsible for making up. This is why some people are so stuck about who says sorry first. Others become so irrelevantly reserved because they don’t want to be the one to make a mistake in the marriage. The conscious effort not to do that automatically births the unconscious effort of being a stranger in your home, hurting your partner and being the problem. Hence you are irresponsibly responsible for the problem that arises. You already know that perfection is unattainable, yet you don’t mind alienating your partner in order to fake it. It seemed like the easy way out but it gave room for tons of bigger problems.
An argument ensued between a couple. After several minutes the husband remorsefully apologized to his wife,
“Honey, I am sorry I made you overreact. Please forgive me, I promise to act better next time.”
The wife thunders,
“So I am the one who is overreacting, I am the crazy wife abi. Is this how you hope to become a better man? By calling me eccentric?”
Who do you think is responsible for what comes next?
Be more responsible… It’s tougher than you think but your relationship becomes healthier with every step. Be responsible for everything, most especially your emotions.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Oluwasegun Femi Fragile carries within him a world of limitless emotion which he always seeks to express with his heart as ink in his pen. Also known as The Cooking Pen; a writer cum cook. He is popular for his heart melting and life-schooling style of writing which he refers to as ‘personal’. He often states that everything about life is his source of inspiration.
This author of two eBooks: The Spark in My Quiet World and Letters to God which was nominated as best fiction for the Nigerian Writers Award is also a consultant on love affairs. He is driven by his purpose to help others in their pursuit of happiness. He blogs at www.femifragile.com, a platform he uses to cure the emotional curiosity of his readers.