I Almost Chased My Husband Away in 2016

Maureen Alikor is the convener and founder of Demystify Abuse Campaign, an outreach with a vision to put an end to rape, sexual abuse, and every form of stigmatization against victims.

A survivor herself, she loves to share her story hoping it inspires more people to own their story and chase their dreams in spite of their experience.

In this post, Maureen shares her rape experience and how her husband stood by her for 4 years before they got married a few months back.

It is inspiring. Read on…

It was November 16th, 2016.

On the night the armed robbers broke into my apartment and raped me, I was on the phone with him. We were just 2 months old.

He was trying to calm me via the phone so I would fall asleep because I was experiencing so much pain from my ovulation, that was when the robbers broke my door down.

“Jesus” was the last word he heard from my mouth. But, he stayed on the line, believing I would explain why I shouted and if I was okay.

The robbers immediately came in, pointed their guns at me and my roommate, seized our phones, collected my money, and some other valuables, and put them in his back pocket.

Then the rape happened with a gun pointed to my forehead.

Then I heard a faint “hello”, that was when I knew my boyfriend didn’t drop the call, and he didn’t know what was happening because the earpiece was still plugged.

After the robbers left, I couldn’t call him, I didn’t have his number offhand.

I tried to reach him via a Neighbour’s Facebook messenger, but he was offline, so I dropped him a message and a phone number with which he could call me.

He received the messages later that day and called.

After a couple of visits to the hospital, where various tests were carried out and many drugs were administered too. He was with me on the phone as I visited the hospitals, took the tests and also started taking the drugs.

Some days later, I called him and told him I would understand if he wanted to break up with my especially knowing that I had just been raped and I had read that a lot of men never heal from the trauma.

Plus, I didn’t want him to be with me out of pity, because that would make me an evil person.

I told him it would be okay for him to end the relationship since we were just starting.

I was scared he would always use the rape against me.

I was worried our sex would be affected by my detachment and disinterest.

I was worried I might hate him because the rapist was a man too.

I tried to chase him away.

I tried to make him go away, but he was stubborn.

He stayed. He played significant roles in helping me through the various painful and challenging phases that followed.

Four years later, I haven’t regretted dating him for one day.

Four years, he stuck by my side.

Four years, we are together, stronger than ever, married and enjoying EVERY bit of it.

So, dear rape survivors, any day or time I share my story, it is because I believe total healing and recovery is possible.

I share my story to encourage yet another survivor.

I share my story as an opportunity to extend my testimony to you.

• Healing is possible.
• Love is possible.
• Man (woman) that will love you is possible.
• Man (woman) that will choose you every single day is possible.
• Man (woman) that will respect and value you beyond your imagination is possible.
• God that will guide you through the painful journey is possible.
• A survivor that will listen to you and understand your struggle is possible. Send a DM or call me.

…BUT, IF NO ONE CHOOSE YOU, CHOOSE YOURSELF, every day: THERE ARE SO MANY DIMENSIONS OF YOU.