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CHILDHOOD NAUGHTINESS: The case of the Loveletter (Part Two)


‘You forgot to pick your NOEC from the table’ I told her on the way out of the classroom.

‘It’s not mine’ she replied.

Suddenly the world went still as I paused.

I ran back into the class to retrieve the book

Alas! It was gone! I could almost say it disappeared.

Have you read the first part?, if not you are missing oh!…Read it here now!

It was there a few seconds before.

What happened?

Suddenly my mind told me I was in a very deep trouble.

I blinked twice, willing for the book to re-appear.

It did not!

Yee! Mo daran!

I ran into the loo to poopoo, as I suddenly developed a runny stomach’.

The remaining hours I spent at school that day was hell.

I felt like a cat that fell into water.

It was like every eye was on me.

Every gathering I walked past,

Every group I move close to be talking about me.

Even when my best friend asked what was wrong with me, it felt like mockery.

I ran back to my seat awaiting my judgment.

Someone has the letter and I was sure it was the teacher.


I wasn’t sure I heard well.


That was my teacher’s voice, I was sure of that. “Talk of the devil” I thought

I nearly peed in my pants as I ran over to his table.


I answered, non-too eager to face my punishment.

He looked at me as if I was just a speck of dust on his table and asked:

Who called you?

Like a child caught with his hand in a pot of soup I responded;

I thought you did sah

He merely looked at me like a dunce and went back to his work.

To say I suddenly developed a headache was an understatement,

It seemed as if my mind was playing tricks on me.

On the way back to my seat, I again felt as if the whole class was staring at me.

I nearly screamed,

Their deafening silence reminded of the horror movie I saw the night before – Omen Part 1.

Kai! That terrible movie.

I heaved a sigh of relief when the final bell for the day eventually rang.

That night my dreams were infested with love letters growing legs and wings

like an ojuju-calabar, chasing me around our compound.

The following morning was the worst in my life,

If there was a time I ever wished for a bout of Typhoid, Malaria and Chicken pox fevers rolled into one, It was that day.

I searched all through my body but could not find any ailment

Even the runny nose I had the day before had disappeared.

I paced up and down the children room willing for another idea to flow into me.

And then suddenly it did,

I devised another plan.

Shebi if I break my head, I would be forced to stay home from school?

The idea sounded good and I set about doing just that.

I looked for a part of the room where the wall was smoothest,

After confirming its smoothness I took five steps backwards,

Measured my distance and positioned myself like Yokozuna,

Whoever watched wrestling as a youngster would remember Yokozuna.

I assured myself it would work.

Then I took a deep breath and took off.


Now I cannot remember which sounded louder that morning,

The noise from outside my head

Or the one that came from inside the head.

Well…., that was the last thing I remembered before I fainted.

When I came to, I stylishly opened my eyes

No white sheets!

No sterile smell!

No smell of IZAL!

Nothing to show I was in a hospital.


I sat up only to realize that I was still in our room o – the children room, with no one around me.

I checked the clock to find out it was just 5.25a.m.,

Only 10 mins after I had hit my head against the wall.

It was still too early for others to have woken up.


I had suffered in vain.

As I lifted myself off the ground my head ached terribly.

I tried rubbing the area aching me only to find a lump right there like an Alade’s horn.

Those who read ‘Alawiye Iwe Kerin’ will know about ‘Alade Wuwo’

‘Yee! Mo gbe!’

I screamed as I touched it

My woes had just compounded.

How would I go to school now?

(To be continued next week…..winks)



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1 Comment

  • Reply
    April 22, 2016 at 7:57 pm

    Poor you

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