Cohabiting is when two parties in a relationship are living together without performing the expected traditional and legal rights.
Cohabitation has been welcomed in most parts of the world and also frowned at by a lot of people. In our modern world today, decency and chastity has been thrown to the winds. People now live together like husband and wife even when they are only just dating.
I lived off campus back then in the University, and I could remember vividly how my friends cohabit with their girlfriends for all the period we were in College. Ask me if they got married to any of the ladies!
Well? Your guess is as good as mine! “FOR WHERE”???
I also remembered my friend then when I was in Ibadan for my National Youth Service Programme, whose dad threw her mom out of the house without any formal or legal procedure.
It was later I realised that they have been cohabiting for about 25 years prior to the ‘Throw-out’.
How could people do that? How can you even live with someone you are dating to the extent of giving birth to children.
Living a world of fantasy, knowing fully well you are at the peril and disposal of the other party.
My question is why? What could be this reason?
I am aware that some people don’t really see anything wrong with cohabiting. They see it as a normal lifestyle which to me is completely senseless and unreasonable.
Cohabiting can change the course of one’s life. It can turn a young lady full of life into an old woman full of regrets or get a young man stuck with a woman he has no intention of living his forever with.
Cohabiting can change a life of independence to a life that depends emotionally, physically on people. They just don’t know how to be alone any longer.
Most times cohabiting never works, it only works for the short but never on the long run.
These are a few among others, the dangers of cohabiting:
1. It destroys self esteem.
Most ladies suffer from this. When you pack in with a guy who hasn’t done the normal rites on you and he enjoys all the marital bliss with you.
Leveraging your naivety to satisfy his own lustful desires! You later realise that this is wrong but you cannot get off because you are hooked and have the naive sense he is going to marry you on the long run.
The moment you begin to realise that you guys may not end up together, then it becomes difficult to back out, it becomes difficult to relate with other guys who may have genuine interest in you.
When he eventually dumps you after cohabiting for several years, what happens to your self-esteem afterwards?
It is hit with a huge blow.
Can you relate with the above? YES YOU! I’m sure you or your some of your friends are living with the guy!
2. You lose your social status responsibility.
Nobody would take you serious knowing your approach to one of the most important steps of your life.
What guy will want to consider going out with you when you have had previous history of long years of cohabiting. Even if they seem interested, they would never be serious with you because they know someone had his cake and licked the icing and ate the whole of it!
They can as well bake the cake, spend reasonable time eating and licking an already ‘dry’ icing!
You are wondering who is the ‘cake’ here! Oh come on! It is YOU!
3. You get to miss out on the real deal.
It is more fun when things follow certain protocol. You get to enjoy your period of chasing, catching, friendship, dating, courtship.
These are all steps that adds the spice to your marriage
When you miss all these and just assign an imaginary role of wife and husband to yourselves, then trouble is bound to happen. It surely will.
4. You might lose everything.
The guy may suck you dry and eventually dump you.
You are just too damaged to get any guy who would treat you right because you started and continued on a wrong path.
You deserve better, stop that habit now before you bite the fingers of regret. It is a terrible one!
Regardless of the situation that might lead to cohabitation. Always remember that you have pushed the fast forward button of your future years to now!
What will happen when the future years come? You will alone, sucked, eaten, left out to hang and dry!
My words for you today!!
BJ
PhotoCredit: NaijaHousewife
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