DEEDEES MUSINGS: FRIENDS WITH BENEFIT OR BOOTY CALL

These two statements often times fascinate me, why, because I keep reliving the experience during my days in the University. I had the opportunity of being friends with benefit and also having a booty call.

For the experts and those that are very much aware, these sentences should not be new to you. However for the sake of guys who may be dealing with these words for the first time. I will take my time to define what they mean.

Friends with benefit simply means what it is, some of you might wonder what do I mean by mentioning benefits and others might totally understand what it means. Let me make this somewhat clear and specific, benefits is more like having a sexual and intimate relationship with the opposite sex with no strings attached. A friend with benefit can also be called a casual relationship or more simply a fling.

Wikipedia defines casual relationship as a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have casual sex or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship.

We need to understand that certain differences exist in the acceptance of casual relationships. This acceptability is also dependent on the society that we find ourselves in. From research, the friends with benefit are very popular among Nigerians.

Booty Call is an invitation by someone of the opposite sex to hang out at his/her place often times to have casual sex. It is mostly arranged via phone calls or text messages. What happens really is that you get a call most times from a female who bears it all and informs you straight on that it’s a booty call. It is therefore your decision to head to the location or to stay put.

The questions that keeps coming to mind today was what exactly necessitated the booty calls and friends in benefit back then. Was it due to the fact that I was very adventurous, or someone who wants a great deal of sex, or it was just youthful exuberance? This was what I thought back then, however growing up and out of it I realized that obliging the booty calls or having a friend with benefit wasn’t borne out of the youthful exuberance, but the need to be involved in something that won’t necessarily indulge me into committing myself.

I realized, there is an attraction albeit sexual, and there is this mutual understanding not to fully commit to a serious relationship. So it leads to a relationship somewhat friendly. While you can’t run away from the fact that sometimes it gets real queasy and rather queer when you realize that you are getting closer than necessary in the friendly relationship. LOL! It usually makes the relationship difficult to handle. You need to quickly analyse the situation put yourself back on track to forestall further issues from arising since the relationship was specifically defined to be non-committal.

Booty calls are easier, it is usually one off and then everyone moves on. However, by the time booty calls become twice, trice and on! Then it has moved from being just booty calls into friends with benefit, do you get what I’m saying.

As it easy all these sounds, it is extremely difficult to handle, and both situations, if not handled properly may lead to a fiesty and committed relationship. However, if the condition is to maintain mutualism in its entirety and not something serious and deep rooted, then it is important to review the friendly relationship from time to time. This would prevent a lot of backlash, and eventual hurt.

Therefore if you are mature enough to handle such situations and make such tough decisions, I’d say why not indulge yourself anyway.

Isn’t it better to just be more realistic with ourselves than involve in arelationship riled with lies, distrust and eventual heartbreak. Just note that it is easy to backtrack on vocal commitment. A guideline should be written, yes I say wriiten shich is to be reviewed from time to time, so that there is an understanding on what is and what is not.

As much I preach love and relationships, sometimes we need to take a step out of the norm and look at instances when flings are deemed necessary. It doesn’t hurt to do that, does it?

Have you ever had a friend with benefit or some booty calls…Oya! Go down low and drop your comments!