A breakup is rarely easy because you give your all in a relationship and it is so hard to leave someone you are in love with. It is even more devastating when your partner is the one that breaks up with you, while you were the person that wanted to keep going. It tears your heart to pieces and you may feel inadequate, and accordingly, lose your self-respect.
You may start questioning what is wrong with you instead of focusing on any of the bright aspects of your life. If you get caught up in this loop, you may lose yourself in the process. That’s why you should know how to stay strong and heal properly. Since we understand how hard it is to do that on your own, we are going to provide you with some tips to help you regain your self-respect and get a hold of your life again.
Forget Your Ex’s Words
The picture of yourself should be formed according to your own thoughts and not anyone else’s words. This is hard to achieve when the person that you were most vulnerable with says hurtful things. They break your self-esteem and make you think that maybe you are that bad.
You should learn how to view yourself as a separate being from your past relationship and that you are more than anything that your ex-lover said about you. This is the first step towards forgetting the pain that was inflicted upon you and later on, the conversations.
Learn How to Forgive
Forgiveness is a trait that we all should acquire to be able to move on. You should forgive the people who hurt you, including yourself. You may regret what you did in your relationship because its failure is based on two people, not only one. You’ll blame yourself, your ex, and the people around you. To let go of this burden that is weighing on your self-worth, you have to find it within yourself to forgive.
You will stay traumatized your whole life if you don’t get to the bottom of it and find the key towards the road to forgiveness. Holding on to hard feelings inside will only keep you stuck in the same place. So, you need to shift your thoughts and try to focus on the bright sides to have something to hold on to, instead of the horrible events in the end.
Ask for Advice
Even though you will be trying your best to let go of the negativity and try to love yourself, you may not know the correct way to do so. That’s why advisors at RebelLove recommend seeking help from healers, therapists, or anyone that has done enough research on relationships. A bad breakup can lead to a lifetime of trauma that you won’t be able to open up to anyone else. That’s why you shouldn’t shy away and ask for help when you need it to at least learn self-love after hating on yourself for a long time after the departure.
Give Yourself Time to Heal
Time is crucial in the healing process because regaining what you have lost won’t happen overnight. You will be fixing the damage that happened over months, so you should give yourself some credit if you take more than that to get better.
However, time is not a magical healer, so during that period, you should connect with the good parts of yourselves. You can do that by meditating or practicing any activity that lights you up from the inside. Another thing to do is to stop wasting your time on dwelling on the past because it will bring you nothing but suffering.
Set Healthy Boundaries
You should learn how to set healthy boundaries because some people will walk all over you if you don’t stand up for yourself. For instance, saying no is not an insult to anyone, it merely shows that you don’t accept a certain offer so you decide to refuse it. You should let go of the people in your life that constantly criticize you and make you feel bad about yourself no matter what you do.
Sometimes, your ex-lover may try to reach out to you out of boredom, but you should know better than to agree. You will be working on your self-respect, so don’t let others manipulate you into doing what they want.
Regaining the good feelings you had about yourself before breaking up is not easy. That’s because when we get hurt by the closest person, we lose all sense of reality. However, it is possible to get better by accepting the past instead of wallowing in it. Remember that other people’s words don’t define you and that healing is a process that takes some time and effort.