When was the last time you dated your wife?
I mean, you put a call to her from your office or wherever it is you do your hustle, she picks your call and you say,
And she says, “hmmm” in that breathy, pillow voice she responds in around 3am whenever its cold outside but warm in the bed.
Then you say, “can we go out tonight?”
You then spring the evening on her ‘yes’.
You tell her to wear her favorite gown and do to herself all the things she thinks you’d like.
She giggles coyly like she did on the night of your first dance together, she asked you what you plan to wear but you didn’t hear her properly on account of the noise the kids made in the background.
Four of them, boys and queens.
The conversation ends with the agreement that you’d both meet at a quiet restaurant not far from your home.
Both of you, alone.
No children. No friends over.
Just the two of you.
And when she walked into the place, heads turned, whispers trekked and comparisons were made. Because your wife was elegant, she glowed with the happiness of a new and appreciated woman.
She is your girlfriend tonight.
A new wife. New tonight and every other night.
But as she came in, she saw only you, her boyfriend. No one else. Just you.
When she took her seat across the table, she joked about your evening dress, “so you took it with you to the office.”
You then gave her your most mischievous smile and there and then she knew this night would be unforgettable, like the one last week or the ones to follow.
You then looked in her eyes as though you are beholding an enchanted emerald for the first time.
You then reached out and squeezed her hands and with your eyes you both speak languages only lovers know.
When she blinked, her eyes sparkled, they said, “I love you, guy.”
Then you squeezed her hands warmly again to remind her that, “you are my Queen.”
You both talked about work, just a little bit. Just a little. But you are more interested in how her day have been.
She told you everything. She opened up and the reservoir of her heart flooded the evening, suffusing the chandeliers, dimming their lights so that the only face that mattered was hers and the only sound, the only voice that mattered tonight was hers still.
She shared the wonders of your children with you, the little bits you miss while at work, the truth about who broke the flower vase last Wednesday, the best way to get your first boy to tell you his worries and why you should be more stern with your daughters.
The cake came and you did what you always do from the day you married her.
You took a slice, your hand traveled the distance across the table and you let her taste your care.
She ate and told you how good it was. Then you took your turn.
And thus the evening went on.
Every minute was yours and your wife’s alone. Every third was an opportunity to let her know how much value she has added to your existence. And every curve the night took, you were there with her, pleasing her, pleasing you, appeasing all the challenges you both share with an equal measure of understanding, commitment, friendship, love, forgiveness, empathy and romance.
And after what seem like an endless night, you both walk back home, hand in hand, strolling through the street where everyone knows you and her, singing your favorite songs, the stars bearing witness once more to the signature of your voices. The universe marrying both of you, again and again, bonding you together in an attachment stronger than pen and paper.
Tonight you are not just husband and wife. Tonight you aren’t just couples married for five years, six months and six days and a few hours.
Tonight, you are best friends. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Yes. And you both know it is alright like that.
And when you snuck into bed thereafter, the kids knew but did not dare disrupt such a beautiful song playing silently between their dear parents. Instead, they slept, secured in the assurance that things were indeed right as rain.
And when morning came, it strolled into your living room with the laughter of happy children and a contented wife. Today was going to be as trouble filled like yesterday, and the days before that. Because it is a crazy world we live in.
But you face it with the strength and energy of a husband, a man, who has the uncommon company of a friend, a woman, a wife, who not only loves you but also thinks and believes that you are the best thing since the discovery of the fuel injector.
So when was the last time you dated your wife?