My boyfriend is eight years older than I am. We have been dating for a year now and I really don’t have any issues giving him the accorded respect. But I have been feeling of being exploited and disrespected lately. It is really affecting my self confidence because I think he disrespects me but I love him.
When we first started dating, he told me to call him ‘brother’, and which I didn’t even have a second thought about since he is 8 years older than I am. I just felt I could respect him with that too. As we continued with our relationship, I noticed that every other day, my boyfriend always has one thing to add to his list of respect. He acts like he is my father; too controlling and bossy. Most times treats me like a kid sister. Whenever I try to use the love words like “boo”, “baby”, “sweetheart”, he shuts me up like I just used some swear words on him.
Truth is, my boyfriend cares a lot about me. Since I met him, he took over certain responsibilities. He buys my monthly groceries and almost all my needs in school. Lest I forget to say, he is working already and he has met my family too. So, it is not the issue of him loving me or caring for me.
Lately, I made up my mind about just ignoring all these issues and focus on our love for each other. But he did something on his birthday, last week which has temporarily scarred me. I left my school with a cake to surprise my boyfriend in his office which I have been to before. On my arrival, I met him with some of his colleagues. He was surprised and definitely happy to see me. As I made to deliver the cake to him, his countenance changed and he said how could I just hand over the cake to him like that?
I should have gone on my knees to present the cake to him in front of his colleagues? I almost fainted from the embarrassment. He also stated that on seeing his colleagues, I should have knelt to greet all of them. I was ashamed.
I dropped the cake and left his office. I couldn’t believe I was just embarrassed and humiliated. He has been incessantly calling since then to apologise, I did not pick his calls
I am confused, Does he really love me? I have my grievances, and certain objections. Will he accept that and deal with the fact that I am his partner and not his younger sister.
Or I should just move on?
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