Shocking Revelation: I Am Not A Christian Anymore


You will be wondering whether it is DeeDee renouncing his Christian Faith? No! Not in this life. But this! This story is for you to READ!

I know you are here because of the headline. This is controversial, Yes I know. But it isn’t about Me! It is about a certain Twitter User, David Gass who renounced his Christianity. What!? You say? Yes, he did! You read me clearly! For a man who was a preacher for 40 years to have done that, I was shocked and it got me thinking.

Shouldn’t we discuss this here?

Before we do, please read his shocking confession.

After 40 years of being a devout follower, 20 of those being an evangelical pastor, I am walking away from faith. Even though this has been a massive bomb drop in my life, it has been decades in the making.

When I was in 8th grade and I was reading greek mythology, it dawned on me how much of the supernatural interactions between the deity of the bible and mankind sounded like ancient mythology. That seed of doubt never went away.

I was raised in a hyper-fundamentalist family, and it felt good to be in a system that promised all the answer and solutions to life. The problem is, the system didn’t work. The promises were empty. The answers were lies.

As an adult my marriage was a sham and a constant source of pain for me. I did everything I was supposed to – marriage workshops, counseling, bible reading together, date nights every week, marriage books – but my marriage never became what I was promised it would be.

I was fully devoted to studying the scriptures. I think I missed maybe 12 Sundays in 40 years. I had completely memorized 18 books of the bible and was reading through the bible for the 24th time when I walked away.

I devoured all the “christian apologetics” books that came out, and none of them answered my questions regarding the nature of god and the problems I found within the Scriptures. I found these books to be trite, dismissive, and full of pseudo science and evidence.

The more I read and studied the scriptures the more questions I had. Literally from the first chapter to the last, so many problems. And the more I learned about how the scriptures were canonized, the less I could believe in the “inerrancy” model that I had to espouse.

In 40 years I never witnessed a single event that was supernatural. Not one. Time and again I watched people die of cancer. I did funerals for 47 people from the age of 4 to 96. I prayed in faith with hundreds of people for healing to no avail. god didn’t answer prayers.

My devoutly christian parents were abusive, my marriage was a sham, prayer was never answered, miracles were never performed. People died, children rebelled, marriages failed, addictions occurred – all at the same rate as non believers. The system just doesn’t work.

I pastored mega churches & tiny churches. I did college ministry, camp ministry, youth ministry, music ministry, preaching ministry, church planting – everything in the church except work in the nursery. And what I saw was people desperate for the system to work for them.

I traveled on speaking teams, preached to thousands of teenagers at a time, wrote blogs, was published, formed curriculum, taught workshops, was an up-and-comer reforming my denomination. The whole time hoping at some point it would click, and become true for me.

An inescapable reality that I came to was that the people who benefited the most from organized religion were the fringe attenders who didn’t take it too seriously. The people who were devout were the most miserable, but just kept trying harder.

All the while, the experience I had within the church was that a lot (granted, not all) people use the church for power and influence. Many involved people in churches use it as their small kingdom for personal control and ego.

And the entire system is rife with abuse. And not just from the top down, sure there are abusive church leaders, but church leaders are abused by their congregants as well. Church people are just shitty to each other.

I spent my entire life serving, loving, and trying to help people in my congregations. And the lies, betrayal, and slander I have received at the hands of church people left wounds that may never heal.

This massive cognitive dissonance – my beliefs not matching with reality – created a separation between my head and my heart. I was gaslighting myself to stay in the faith.

Eventually I could not maintain the facade anymore, I started to have mental and emotional breaks. My internal stress started to show in physical symptoms. Being a pastor – a professional Christian – was killing me.

During this time I also found something amazing: I found a handful of people who were more Christian than any Christian I had ever met – and they weren’t Christian. I found love in places where love wasn’t supposed to exist. I found acceptance among people who were godless.

I learned that love is real. That acceptance is possible. That life is vibrant and full. But the church burdens people with fear, shame, and guilt, all for the purpose of maintaining control. I now see the church as a system perfectly curated to control people and culture.

I was a part of a system that enslaves people, and I was both a slave and a slave driver. We called chains freedom, and misery happiness. We had impossible standards that we could not meet so we turned the attention on others so the spotlight wasn’t on our own inadequacies.

Eventually I pulled the lever and dropped the bomb. Career, marriage, family, social standing, network, reputation, all gone in an instant. And honestly I didn’t intend to fully walk away, but the way the church turned on me forced me to leave permanently.

For those of you who want to yell at me, that’s fine. I know that many will call me an apostate, say I was never really saved, that I was a wolf in sheeps clothing, and that a hotter hell awaits me. And to you I say I love you. My heart is tender toward you.

To those who have been in my congregations or under my teaching/preaching I sincerely apologize. I thought I was right. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I could fake it until I made it. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I love you.

I have lost everything. I gave literally everything to serving Jesus. And walking away has cost me everything. All I can hope for is that the second half of my life can be full of love and genuine human relationships. I was wrong. I’m not faking anymore.

I will add that my walking away was very messy and I know I have hurt a lot of people. To them I am genuinely sorry and I regret my actions that hurt you.


This is infact shocking and worthy of publishing.

His statement about the church and Christianity, I think is more of people oriented and not what is obtainable in the scriptures. Well, while he may have some point. His argument valid from a logical sense of reasoning, but really is Christianity all about logic but of what is stated in the word of God – Bible?

Was this still enough for him to have renounced his Christian faith? We own our truth and there is little we can do for people who have made up their mind.

Or is there much more, we can DO?

I look forward to your thoughts and opinion.

Live your best life Now

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  • Reply
    May 1, 2019 at 7:51 am

    Alot of people feel this way too but are not really bold enough to say it.
    I envy his courage and I am proud of him.

    • Reply
      Detola Deedee
      May 1, 2019 at 7:53 am

      You mean he did the *right* thing by renouncing his Christianity?

      • Reply
        October 3, 2019 at 11:35 am

        Yes, he did. What do you expect him to do? Keep living in doubt?

    • Reply
      May 13, 2019 at 6:15 pm

      in life, there is nothing expensive and precious got from a simple way
      heaven is expensive and so not easy to enter

      as gold is difficult to extract so is heaven
      there is nothing Good obtained on a silver plate

      he forgot the reason why he was serving God for…

  • Reply
    Olubunmi Ojo
    May 1, 2019 at 9:35 am

    Being a Christian without encountering the person of The Christ Is incomplete, many people already thread this part, reading, praying, studying and preaching…without seeking the personality of the person behind the truth.
    Jesus told the Pharisees during his days in John 5:39-40
    “You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”

    So, it’s not enough to read and practice, seeking is the peak. Like the prayer of Paul I. Phillipians, that I may know Him, and the power of his Resurrection and The fellowship of his suffering.

    In his post, I didn’t see where or how he diligently seek the Lord Jesus, he was looking for answers… But Jesus is the answer for the world today.

    Thank you.

  • Reply
    May 1, 2019 at 10:48 am

    I think it’s easy to read between the lines what his problem really was…. He was just born into a Christian home, went to church for years and pastored without really meeting the person of christ.
    Christianity is more of spiritual encounter than mere logic.
    May God help him and also help us all.

    • Reply
      Detola Deedee
      May 1, 2019 at 11:07 am


      Christianity is more of spirituality. Thanks for your comment Dammy.

      • Reply
        Iris Oppong
        May 2, 2019 at 5:41 pm

        ‘In 40 years I never witnessed a single event that was supernatural.’ The above statement he made shows that he never encountered the Person of Jesus. He was never born again.
        Becoming a christian is a supernatural experience. We need to pray for him to experience that inner transformation as a result of encountering Christ in a personal way.

      • Reply
        Paul Osiaje
        October 3, 2019 at 10:54 am

        Jesus is like a financial bank BULKROOM, on daily basis, money are mutinated, broken and with dirt. The BULKROOM is a place of exchange of such money. Today we go back to the BULKROOM, tomorrow we go back, but it doesn’t refuse or take the good one, treat all same. Please come back to the BULKROOM. Please bro. The world is worst off. Come back, I beg you.

  • Reply
    May 3, 2019 at 1:47 am

    The word of God says” God is a spirit and those that will worship him will worship in truth Andi in the spirit. ”
    “He that is born of the flesh is of the flesh; he that is born of the spirit is of the spirit”
    It does not matter what a man says – the reality of God is most glaring to the chosen ones!
    When a relationship between the living God and a man is forged, it is an unforgettable, irrepressible and practical: among all experiences, it is most convincingly indelible!
    The revelation is engineered by the Almighty God: he chooses whom he wishes to be given as an eternal gift! Most blessed are those who are chosen to be safe through the only king of glory – Christ Jesus.

  • Reply
    Asante-Danquah K.
    May 12, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    His renouncing his faith cannot wish the God Christians serve away. HE is a God that does his own will and not the will of DeeGas. May God find favour on him as he did and continue to do for others. HIS thoughts and ways are greater than ours. We are just human who have a lot of infirmities. We shit, droll from the nose get sick and also die.Who are we to think otherwise of HIM

  • Reply
    May 14, 2019 at 10:48 am

    This conversation is really getting interesting and am enjoying it.

  • Reply
    Confidence Kpettey
    May 15, 2019 at 8:27 am

    At this level, we can only pray for him. Reading through, l could see that he could not come to terms with the inner peace that comes after the rebirth. That inner peace is the anchor holding the Christian. Being a Christian does not preclude one from being confronted with the regular issues of life but we have faith that with the Lord in the boat we will go through.

  • Reply
    May 19, 2019 at 10:56 am

    look I was once feeling like that until I encountered Jesus in various ways…Jesus explain the scriptures to me and revealed himself to me…he is real…satan makes it look as if there’s no Jesus but um telling you bro ,Jesus christ of Nazareth is real don’t doubt….Thomas saw Jesus first time after his death and now believed..and jesus told him you believe cos you have seen me ,happy is the one who believes without seeing me…..don’t walk out of Christianity..I wish I can share with you my experiences and encounters with christ Jesus

  • Reply
    May 25, 2019 at 12:51 pm

    This preacher needs to have the Upper Room experience that the disciples had in the Book of Acts. Many of us just have a sense of belonging to the Kingdom of God but having access to the unfailing realities of Salvation by grace through faith in the redeemptive blood of the Lord Jesus Christ is foreign to us. Merely confessing Christ is not the entire length of the process of being born again. One needs to go through the genuine processes of justification, sanctification, and the baptism of the Holy Ghost. By these, one becomes inseparable from the love of God.

  • Reply
    Osborn Aniewu
    May 26, 2019 at 9:50 am

    This is an interesting experience.
    Pls don’t forget his this that, YOU NEED GOD FOR THE RIGHT HAPPENING.
    You may attend to poeple who will that you must plan your day, follow your vision and set your pace. But Proverbs 16:9 tells us, A man’s heart plan his way but the Lord directs his steps.
    Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells as, he has made everything beautiful in it Time.
    So pls wait for God’s timing and he will (PUT YOU IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT A RIGHT TIME.)

  • Reply
    May 27, 2019 at 2:36 am

    People think salvation is the solution to the problem of man but rather salvation is the doorway that leads man to the solution, Jesus Christ the way, truth and life. It is clear he never sought Christ and you can tell that he was doing everything by his own strength and so he failed. The most important thing to have as a believer is a true and deep relationship with the Lord. The devil won’t find it easy stealing you away.
    May God help us and have mercy in Deegas

  • Reply
    June 28, 2019 at 8:56 am

    I feel pity for this man, this man just knows what the Bible says nothing more. I don’t know the God he is serving. Reading the bible and books does not mean you are going to be lucky in this life and live a supernatural life. He needs more studies. I am young in ministry but I can testify about the power of God and the supernatural life that Christian has to experience. Healing, prophecy supernatural manifestation, and activities. There is more this man have to know. Knowledge about salvation, healing, supernatural acts, etc. hmmm

  • Reply
    Wit Winsome
    June 28, 2019 at 9:00 am

    I feel pity for this man, this man just knows what the Bible says nothing more. I don’t know the God he is serving. Reading the bible and books does not mean you are going to be lucky in this life and live a supernatural life. He needs more studies. I am young in ministry but I can testify about the power of God and the supernatural life that Christian has to experience. Healing, prophecy supernatural manifestation, and activities. There is more this man have to know. Knowledge about salvation, healing, supernatural acts, etc. hmmm

  • Reply
    zuokumorkate@gmail.com kate
    October 3, 2019 at 5:52 am

    I do not know what to make of this. Reading some of the comments, I believe this man never encountered the person of Jesus. He had doubts about his faith from the very beginning. He knew the scriptures as a scholar, but not the person behind the scriptures. It is very sad. He allowed the enemy to take his heart from the things of God. At this stage, I don’t think there is anything anyone can do for him. Prayer cannot save him. He was never a believer. He was amongst us but was never with us. Let him go. So many others left, Christ is building His church. There must be a falling away, the scriptures already said it.

  • Reply
    Oluwole Ojekunle
    October 3, 2019 at 10:22 am

    It’s a pity he got it all wrong. Being a Christian doesn’t mean one will not be faced with one or two even many obstacles but it’s only the Grace of God that can help to have a break through. The Bible confirmed this “many are the afflictions of the righteous…”‘

    If actually he has been reading the bible severally ad quoted by him he ought to have learned from Job. He can’t tell he was troubled more than Job. On his marital life he can’t say he was taunted or abused by his wife more than Job or David when the latter was praising God.

    I would rather conclude he has not really been serving God wholeheartedly, he had a predetermined purpose. Unfortunately his purpose wasn’t achieved. I am not judging him anyway but it’s really a pity he didn’t know whom he had served for good forty years.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    Knowing Christ is not about how long you have stayed in Christianity or how much you have known the bible but is basically a matter of faith in Christ. You do not expect answered prayers or miracles in doubtful mind.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2019 at 2:33 pm

    whatever his reasons may be he owned his decision and he is answerable to God our creator. He eventually see every thing as unworkable, his marriage, Christian life, emotions all to him was a sham he said,understand that every man is created in God image(nature,glory) you are expected to influence the earth with your innovations and not to depends on what people says or act,he was somehow doubtful in the storm of life like the biblical Peter on the sea and that is why he sink,if I may ask what is true LOVE that he fail to locate among Christians if not his inability to comprehends his surrounding circumstances to his direction of thought in line with his faith. some many still in faith is wearing a bigger rougher shoes than the one he just pull off “I encourage all to be steadfast and focus” and don’t forget Jesus word in Matthew 24:24b the deceived of the very elect.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    the devil want to destroy this man. we have to pray for him so that he will come back before it’s too late

  • Reply
    October 3, 2019 at 4:38 pm

    He just grew in position in Christianity but not in faith. He doubted from his beginning. Other people’s life controlled his Christianity. He can’t carry the cross, the cross is too heavy for him. He is a robotic Christian – a mechanical one. Now, he has been reprogrammed.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2019 at 7:43 pm

    I agree with Dammy. The guy was never a true christian. From his story, it is doubtful whether he ever understood what Christianity is all about. He needs prayers.

  • Reply
    October 3, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    Of a truth, he has never been a Christian, he trys to believe so he could have solution to his problem, it not so, my dear, Christianity is not a religion, is Christ at work in you, is divinity at work in you, it more than reading, studying,preaching etc, you have to seek him diligently by the spirit. believe it or not, you cant choose to believe him reasonably, No!, all you need is an encounter!.

  • Reply
    Alkisha Adel
    October 4, 2019 at 2:15 am

    anyone who judges this man remains as well judged, because the true Judge of mankind Who judges in righteousness is physically on earth. so kindly Let Him be the supreme judge as it it written of Him to be the one and only true Judge of mankind’s. thank you.

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