You will be wondering whether it is DeeDee renouncing his Christian Faith? No! Not in this life. But this! This story is for you to READ!

I know you are here because of the headline. This is controversial, Yes I know. But it isn’t about Me! It is about a certain Twitter User, David Gass who renounced his Christianity. What!? You say? Yes, he did! You read me clearly! For a man who was a preacher for 40 years to have done that, I was shocked and it got me thinking.

Shouldn’t we discuss this here?

Before we do, please read his shocking confession.

After 40 years of being a devout follower, 20 of those being an evangelical pastor, I am walking away from faith. Even though this has been a massive bomb drop in my life, it has been decades in the making.

When I was in 8th grade and I was reading greek mythology, it dawned on me how much of the supernatural interactions between the deity of the bible and mankind sounded like ancient mythology. That seed of doubt never went away.

I was raised in a hyper-fundamentalist family, and it felt good to be in a system that promised all the answer and solutions to life. The problem is, the system didn’t work. The promises were empty. The answers were lies.

As an adult my marriage was a sham and a constant source of pain for me. I did everything I was supposed to – marriage workshops, counseling, bible reading together, date nights every week, marriage books – but my marriage never became what I was promised it would be.

I was fully devoted to studying the scriptures. I think I missed maybe 12 Sundays in 40 years. I had completely memorized 18 books of the bible and was reading through the bible for the 24th time when I walked away.

I devoured all the “christian apologetics” books that came out, and none of them answered my questions regarding the nature of god and the problems I found within the Scriptures. I found these books to be trite, dismissive, and full of pseudo science and evidence.

The more I read and studied the scriptures the more questions I had. Literally from the first chapter to the last, so many problems. And the more I learned about how the scriptures were canonized, the less I could believe in the “inerrancy” model that I had to espouse.

In 40 years I never witnessed a single event that was supernatural. Not one. Time and again I watched people die of cancer. I did funerals for 47 people from the age of 4 to 96. I prayed in faith with hundreds of people for healing to no avail. god didn’t answer prayers.

My devoutly christian parents were abusive, my marriage was a sham, prayer was never answered, miracles were never performed. People died, children rebelled, marriages failed, addictions occurred – all at the same rate as non believers. The system just doesn’t work.

I pastored mega churches & tiny churches. I did college ministry, camp ministry, youth ministry, music ministry, preaching ministry, church planting – everything in the church except work in the nursery. And what I saw was people desperate for the system to work for them.

I traveled on speaking teams, preached to thousands of teenagers at a time, wrote blogs, was published, formed curriculum, taught workshops, was an up-and-comer reforming my denomination. The whole time hoping at some point it would click, and become true for me.

An inescapable reality that I came to was that the people who benefited the most from organized religion were the fringe attenders who didn’t take it too seriously. The people who were devout were the most miserable, but just kept trying harder.

All the while, the experience I had within the church was that a lot (granted, not all) people use the church for power and influence. Many involved people in churches use it as their small kingdom for personal control and ego.

And the entire system is rife with abuse. And not just from the top down, sure there are abusive church leaders, but church leaders are abused by their congregants as well. Church people are just shitty to each other.

I spent my entire life serving, loving, and trying to help people in my congregations. And the lies, betrayal, and slander I have received at the hands of church people left wounds that may never heal.

This massive cognitive dissonance – my beliefs not matching with reality – created a separation between my head and my heart. I was gaslighting myself to stay in the faith.

Eventually I could not maintain the facade anymore, I started to have mental and emotional breaks. My internal stress started to show in physical symptoms. Being a pastor – a professional Christian – was killing me.

During this time I also found something amazing: I found a handful of people who were more Christian than any Christian I had ever met – and they weren’t Christian. I found love in places where love wasn’t supposed to exist. I found acceptance among people who were godless.

I learned that love is real. That acceptance is possible. That life is vibrant and full. But the church burdens people with fear, shame, and guilt, all for the purpose of maintaining control. I now see the church as a system perfectly curated to control people and culture.

I was a part of a system that enslaves people, and I was both a slave and a slave driver. We called chains freedom, and misery happiness. We had impossible standards that we could not meet so we turned the attention on others so the spotlight wasn’t on our own inadequacies.

Eventually I pulled the lever and dropped the bomb. Career, marriage, family, social standing, network, reputation, all gone in an instant. And honestly I didn’t intend to fully walk away, but the way the church turned on me forced me to leave permanently.

For those of you who want to yell at me, that’s fine. I know that many will call me an apostate, say I was never really saved, that I was a wolf in sheeps clothing, and that a hotter hell awaits me. And to you I say I love you. My heart is tender toward you.

To those who have been in my congregations or under my teaching/preaching I sincerely apologize. I thought I was right. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I could fake it until I made it. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I love you.

I have lost everything. I gave literally everything to serving Jesus. And walking away has cost me everything. All I can hope for is that the second half of my life can be full of love and genuine human relationships. I was wrong. I’m not faking anymore.

I will add that my walking away was very messy and I know I have hurt a lot of people. To them I am genuinely sorry and I regret my actions that hurt you.

This is infact shocking and worthy of publishing.

His statement about the church and Christianity, I think is more of people oriented and not what is obtainable in the scriptures. Well, while he may have some point. His argument valid from a logical sense of reasoning, but really is Christianity all about logic but of what is stated in the word of God – Bible?

Was this still enough for him to have renounced his Christian faith? We own our truth and there is little we can do for people who have made up their mind.

Or is there much more, we can DO?

I look forward to your thoughts and opinion.

Live your best life Now

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About The Author

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The brain behind Deedeesblog, Detola is an embodiment of creativity - With deep knowledge in Counseling and Photography, He started this platform to share happiness via digital contents in Relationships and Documentaries. Content here tells a story with the intention to shape narratives. What's your Love and Life story? Care to Share? Connect with Detola on admin@deedeesblog.com

13 Responses

  1. Ekenechukwu

    Alot of people feel this way too but are not really bold enough to say it.
    I envy his courage and I am proud of him.

    Reply
    • lsaac

      in life, there is nothing expensive and precious got from a simple way
      heaven is expensive and so not easy to enter

      as gold is difficult to extract so is heaven
      there is nothing Good obtained on a silver plate

      he forgot the reason why he was serving God for…

      Reply
  2. Olubunmi Ojo

    Being a Christian without encountering the person of The Christ Is incomplete, many people already thread this part, reading, praying, studying and preaching…without seeking the personality of the person behind the truth.
    Jesus told the Pharisees during his days in John 5:39-40
    “You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”

    So, it’s not enough to read and practice, seeking is the peak. Like the prayer of Paul I. Phillipians, that I may know Him, and the power of his Resurrection and The fellowship of his suffering.

    In his post, I didn’t see where or how he diligently seek the Lord Jesus, he was looking for answers… But Jesus is the answer for the world today.

    Thank you.

    Reply
  3. Dammy

    I think it’s easy to read between the lines what his problem really was…. He was just born into a Christian home, went to church for years and pastored without really meeting the person of christ.
    Christianity is more of spiritual encounter than mere logic.
    This
    May God help him and also help us all.

    Reply
      • Iris Oppong

        ‘In 40 years I never witnessed a single event that was supernatural.’ The above statement he made shows that he never encountered the Person of Jesus. He was never born again.
        Becoming a christian is a supernatural experience. We need to pray for him to experience that inner transformation as a result of encountering Christ in a personal way.

  4. Korede

    The word of God says” God is a spirit and those that will worship him will worship in truth Andi in the spirit. ”
    “He that is born of the flesh is of the flesh; he that is born of the spirit is of the spirit”
    It does not matter what a man says – the reality of God is most glaring to the chosen ones!
    When a relationship between the living God and a man is forged, it is an unforgettable, irrepressible and practical: among all experiences, it is most convincingly indelible!
    The revelation is engineered by the Almighty God: he chooses whom he wishes to be given as an eternal gift! Most blessed are those who are chosen to be safe through the only king of glory – Christ Jesus.

    Reply
  5. Asante-Danquah K.

    His renouncing his faith cannot wish the God Christians serve away. HE is a God that does his own will and not the will of DeeGas. May God find favour on him as he did and continue to do for others. HIS thoughts and ways are greater than ours. We are just human who have a lot of infirmities. We shit, droll from the nose get sick and also die.Who are we to think otherwise of HIM

    Reply
  6. Bindajim

    This conversation is really getting interesting and am enjoying it.

    Reply
  7. Confidence Kpettey

    At this level, we can only pray for him. Reading through, l could see that he could not come to terms with the inner peace that comes after the rebirth. That inner peace is the anchor holding the Christian. Being a Christian does not preclude one from being confronted with the regular issues of life but we have faith that with the Lord in the boat we will go through.

    Reply
  8. Daniel

    look I was once feeling like that until I encountered Jesus in various ways…Jesus explain the scriptures to me and revealed himself to me…he is real…satan makes it look as if there’s no Jesus but um telling you bro ,Jesus christ of Nazareth is real don’t doubt….Thomas saw Jesus first time after his death and now believed..and jesus told him you believe cos you have seen me ,happy is the one who believes without seeing me…..don’t walk out of Christianity..I wish I can share with you my experiences and encounters with christ Jesus

    Reply
  9. Tim.

    This preacher needs to have the Upper Room experience that the disciples had in the Book of Acts. Many of us just have a sense of belonging to the Kingdom of God but having access to the unfailing realities of Salvation by grace through faith in the redeemptive blood of the Lord Jesus Christ is foreign to us. Merely confessing Christ is not the entire length of the process of being born again. One needs to go through the genuine processes of justification, sanctification, and the baptism of the Holy Ghost. By these, one becomes inseparable from the love of God.

    Reply

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