Lifestyle Relationship Hacks



The Naijasinglegirl blog is that blog I always love going to, to laugh, have fun and even meet some very single Naija girls. I was there yesterday to scan as usual when I stumbled on the post titled ‘The hustle to quit being single’

In that post, the writer, Nkeiruka highlighted her failures at hooking up the right man despite the many things she had tried to get noticed. From being up her friends’ BBM Display picture, to attending events and parties.

The right outfit, paying extra attention to her make up, she has even decided to move on to jogging in her neighbourhood, so as to nick the ‘bobo’ on time.

Well, some of you may decide to call it desperation, some may have a lot of advise up their sleeves for Nkeiruka. But in all sincerity, this has been the case in recent times.

I have observed that the rate of single girls in 2016 is on a high. In fact a friend postulated a theory that for every eligible bachelor out there, there are about 5-6 girls for his taking. I would want to to agree with his theory, single ladies abound out there.

You are a girlfriend material, ( I don’t know if you are wifey because I have not met you) but of course you are very beautiful, love to mingle, very relatable, and dateable. Your friends are very much aware of your beauty. When your picture stays on their dispaly picture on their social media handles, their girlfriends swoon with envy at your beauty and class.

I can categorically state that being single is cool! because I am and I’m enjoying it. But there is always a feeling I get which says that ‘Deedee’ you are eligible, you are dateable, stop hiding behind the laptop and blogging away. You need to get a life.

I am sure the same applies to the single girls too. It is very possible you all get the feeling in your head that you are awesome, yet guys do not see that. They do not approach you. After the beautiful dresses, special attention to your make ups, attending singles events, going to public areas, trying to get noticed and all.

Well, the deal is, it will be hard to catch a ‘man’ and here’s why:

1. You are ‘still’ waiting on someone worthy of you

You are amazing, no doubt. Pretty girl, nice car, with enough in the account to buy another, beautiful apartment in Lekki. Why want a guy who wouldn’t be able to match all these. In fact you believe that if you don’t meet that guy who equal these qualities. You will still wait.

I’m happy for you. You will meet him, keep looking.

2. Your confidence is overawing

My dear, Guys are usually intimidated by a confident babe. You sure know what you want, your kind of man. This build a level of confidence in you. Right?

Trust me, even the over confident guys will think twice when they see that your level of confidence cower theirs. Not that you ain’t getting noticed, but most smart guys when they see you ask themselves these questions, Would I have to constantly feed her ego? Being confident apparently, won’t it get into her head? Is she really cool despite being very confident?

Being confident, yet down-to-earth, is a relationship worthy combination.

Believe me, you are pretty and over confident. May be that is what is even chasing the guys away.

3. Your criteria is your mentality

I have gone to a lot of dating sites where the criteria from girls can be insanely funny.

He must be tall, dark, earn a salary of #250k and above, drive an Honda car, live on the island, God fearing, romantic, down to earth, loves church.

You know you are so much available for a date, yet you give loads of criteria for your kind of man.

I have an accountant girlfriend who is in her 30’s and single, yet she is waiting for a tall, dark and handsome dude. She keeps complaining that she hasn’t seen a guy that meets those criteria.

Biko, how do I help such a person when your criteria na only God fit give you. Who ‘criteria epp’?

4. You never put down your smartphone

Whether or not a guy is chatting you up, you are always glued to your phone. This can be so irritating as most girls are guilty and can relate to this.

Honestly there is nothing as worse as a girl that is obviously glued to her phone. You are at an event – Weddings, get together and all and you know you are single, yet you keep pressing your phone ‘pakam pakam‘, glued like a 100 naira paper glue. Even when a guy approaches you, you are still pinging, texting, Instagramming.

It is easy for him to deduce your lack of interest and it will be difficult for him to want to invest his time in talking to you. Time is Money Biko.

If he cannot count on you to listen and talk without checking your phone every minute. Off he goes!

5. You can gossip for Africa

Instead of you focusing more on your environment when you are at a party with your friends, all you do is gossip. Talking behind people’s back, making jest of guests,

‘oh, see her heels, she couldn’t even do a 16’ on that floral gown.

‘Nonsense, that vintage does not make any sense’ ‘See that guy’s fake Zara shoes’

Is that Christian Louboutin or Brogues’

Girls are so guilty of this, some of you are even worse than ‘Gossip Girl‘. You never can tell when a guy is interested in you and wants to hit it off. You coming off as a Gossip babe may be a complete turn off for him. he may find you spiteful and shallow – which are not traits of a good girlfriend.

Constant gossiping scare some guys away because they may feel you would love drama, and then imagine that you would be a hard nut to deal with in a relationship. A gossip girl is a fighter! Don’t you think?

6. You failed to focus on yourself

You want a guy so desperately, you haven’t really dug into yourself to understand what you want and what your ideals are.

See, most of the guys are now smart, dating girls go beyond just the outward appearance. Some of us believe that when you put on beautiful outfits, plenty make ups ( Some make ups can be so deceptive and completely turn us off, en?) you will hook the right guy. Hey Dear, we are smart already, What is the point of painting the outer part of the drum when the inner part is empty and, filled with nothing, eh?

You need to work on yourself first, what plans do you have, what direction are you headed. Why offer just the outer part of you when you know you could be a better package; in and out?


There is an interesting twist to this post already and I’m sure the guys can relate. A girl with all the six pointers I mentioned above and even more that I did not mention would even seem to me like she is hooked already?

LMAO! I know right?

Drop your comments then if you want to add something more or if you have learned from the post, let’s engage!

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  • Reply
    July 9, 2016 at 12:47 pm

    Deedee. We hear you, now am knowing for the first time that being confident turns off guys. But methinks if the guy is confident enough, another person’s confined should not overshadow his, put him on edge or run him off.
    What of guys who constantly complains about a lady’s dressing, but offers no advice to help her make the right choices or buy her fashion items.
    The men do not want a success lady but the first question they ask her is ” Where do you work”, ” What is the pay like” , ” Can you pay on our date” ” How many ex- boyfriends”, ” How many abortions”. What happened to getting to know one another before asking personal questions. All the ladies attitudes you mentioned, sometimes are defense mechanisms to wade off hurts and be able to stand on their feet if things do not work out as expected.
    Gossip, phone addiction and too much makeup are definitely a nono for a serious lady.

    I blog at

  • Reply
    July 9, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    Very interesting twist. I should send this to Nkiru. Thank you

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