Hi Guys, How is your Sunday going? Having an interesting time in God’s presence? Well, I just had mine.
To my Muslim brothers and sisters, How is the fast going. Holiday is almost here, and I sure look forward to being invited to feast with one of you. Not to worry, Deedee will be there, trust me.
I quickly rushed in from church to drop this on the blog. It was a tête-à-tête with Demola, a church friend of mine who actually knew I run a relationship blog but couldn’t bring himself to discuss his troubles with me until today. Well, he met me and bared his mind out. You want to read?
Demola was actually crushing on a girl in church (church vibes, yea? Winks) and asked for a date, but the ‘ish’ was that the pretty babe, Vero, at first was undecided on whether she wants to be in a relationship or not.
She said she liked him but wasn’t sure whether she was ready to date or not. After further pressing, Vero got back with a resounding ‘NO’ to Demola’s request. LOL! Demola is confused and doesn’t know what to make of her ‘NO’ having previously been undecided about being together with Demola. You know for some of us, a NO from a pretty bae doesn’t ‘really’ mean an outright ‘NO’. ( Guys in Deedee’s realm can relate to that)
I am sure there are loads of us in the same predicament as Demola, getting a NO from one hot chick like that, but Hey! It isn’t the end of the world, Vero and other babes saying NO doesn’t mean there isn’t a possibility of a YES. Just be calm.
I advised Demola on 5 strategies for tipping the scale of romance his way. I hope this works for you too.
1. Ask yourself Why
Why do you even want to be in the relationship in the first place? What are your motives for wanting to date her. You need to understand her reasons for not wanting to be involved with you. Is she dealing with heartbreak? Is she looking at the distance between you guys? Maybe she is Kafanchan and you are in Lasgidi. Men! that could be the issue.
Do not be overwhelmed by the fact that she said NO and then allow the challenge of winning her over to becloud the real reason why you want to have her for keeps. Be clear about why you want her, and this is a first step that would assist in analyzing your mental thoughts which will lead to sustainability of the relationship on the long run.
2. You need to give it Time
She has given you a negative reply. So? Let her be for the meantime, do not put pressure on her so as not to allow a hysterical retort from her. OK? Do not also give up on her. Romance farmers who give up on their slowly germinated plants unconsciously destroy what was about to germinate and spread its flowers. While it may be unreasonable to water a ground so bare forever; your will to pursue someone who is undecided about how to love shouldn’t die because of a sudden NO. Exercise a little bit of patience. Right!
3. Give her space
In situations like this, the best bet is to relax, hold on and give her the room she needs to breath and exhale. Still be friends with her anyway, but do not choke her with your advances.
You may be carried away with your ‘motive’ to get some loving and not be aware that you are crowding her with a lot of expectations. She will come to terms that you really mean well and that you are handling the situation very maturely. You will therefore know if you are making an headway when she begins to close up the space between both of you.
4. Use your time together wisely
There is nothing as exhilarating as being with someone who enjoys your company and finds you interesting. If the babe or guy listens to you rather than wait for you to speak. Then it is very important to use your time together wisely.
Be aware and very alert to little gestures. Eye contact, humorous discourse. Taking initiatives in providing high level details to small discussion is very key.
Through this process , you would create a romantic awareness that is irresistible, and most importantly fast track the reason for dating in the first place – to get to know her more intimately.
5. Employ dating strategies that look beyond the surface
If your motive is a deeper relationship, then why just invite her for the ‘normal’ dates at usual love rendezvous. You could employ quick witted dating strategies by looking what she likes and enjoy doing.
She may love reading, or going to the movies. She may love writing or playing video games. During the process of time together. Try to figure out what she loves doing and what she dreams on doing, then leverage that.
Is she a soccer fan, Invite her to watch live matches with you. Get her tickets for live matches, or invite her to a cool and relaxed placed to watch a game of soccer together. Just ensure that you are smart enough to confirm what she loves and looks forward to. It means that you have shown her you look beyond just her beauty and the surface.
Finally, remember this dating is not a competition that you win or lose, but how you take advantage of the opportunities to get your woman to belong to you, and to take back her earlier ‘NO’. Endeavour to keep these tips in mind, and well! Your babe may just be yours.
I give Demola three months to do the needful, and I am sure he will come back with a pleasant story. What about you? Have you started on the tips yet?
Yours in Love