Want versus Need

The Oxford dictionary defines want as a wish or desire while need is defined as something required or necessary. These two words don’t seem to be much different when used in sentences, and you probably won’t get the real difference between the two until you put them in context.

For example, a 9 year old kid might want a video game when what he/she actually needs is a textbook, from this example we can deduce that a want is something we desire, something we thirst for which doesn’t necessarily make us better or impact us positively. A need on the other hand is something we might not even desire but it’s what’s necessary for us to be better, this way of viewing things tend to affect our view of relationship as well, this is a mistake both male and female make but for today our focus will be on the men.

If you are to ask 70% of men what their preference is in a woman I bet you’ll get a lot of, “she must be pretty” , “she must be slim”, “she must be tall”, “she must have big boobs (reminds me of my roommate back in university who was a boobs addict, he only dates booblicious ladies as he calls them)”, ” she must have big butt”, “she must must be curvy”, “she must have figure 8”, “she must be sexy”, “she must be good in bed” etc. Some will even go ahead to specify in details what kind of woman they want, the type of dress she must like, the way she talks and so on which means only a mere 30% will mention what really matters; character, virtue and the likes.

The funniest part of it all is that when these men finally get married they rarely marry the kind of woman they claim to want, which makes me wonder what happened, what changed their priorities? why the sudden change of mind?

A friend of mine got married and we all agreed she was not his type, when I asked him about it, his answer was, “she’s simple and smart”.

To say I was dumbfounded was an understatement, it made me realise that we can always want what we want but there comes a time when one has no choice but to change and go for what he really needs.

There’s a saying that, “a boy goes for the lady he wants, while a man goes for the lady he needs which means what a man really needs is a woman that makes him happy, a woman that makes him better, a woman you can build an empire with, a ride or die type, an ambitious woman, one that challenges you to get better, the type that’ll turn your 1 into 100 and not the one that’ll collect all the 100 on you to shop, a woman of great character who can speak for you even when you’re not there.

Anything apart from this doesn’t really matter; her looks, size, features etc. isn’t what matters. The real impact is made with the soul and not her appearance. A song says, “I don’t want another pretty face, I don’t want just anyone to hold, I don’t want my love gone to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul ” if you ask me that’s all that matters so if you got a lady that treats you right, a lady that always have your best interest at heart, one that strives to see you better then hold on tight to her and put a ring on it, and stop wanting and wishing for what won’t help your life one bit.

This was sent in by seasoned writer Makinde ‘Brainiac’ Teniola