Speaking of fetish, this may seem funny to you, but it’s very true because it happened to me. I was raped by my girlfriend all in the name of fetish. This incident happened sometimes back which I am still battling to move on from:
We met two years ago when I was in my finals in the University and she was running her Masters in the same school. I was drawn to her because she was really lively, full of life and like to try out new things. We started out dating after being friends for four months, because I was she was the best gift life has to offer me, not knowing she would be my worst nightmare.
She liked to explore a lot and she told me she had a very active sexual life, and being a guy who was really into her, I never felt there was a big deal with learning more on Kamasutra, BDSM, and all the kind of new fetish things. Moreso that at that time I did not want to do anything to discredit our budding love. Only if I had known!
We started out by trying new things, from the regular missionary style to more daring ones like position 69 and all. She would make me go down there all in the name of love making and learning new things, some I truly liked, some I did not because my personality and understanding of love making did not go so deep as she wanted it! I am the kind of man everyone could call traditional!
If I had known at that time, I would have called the relationship off, but I was blinded by LOVE? I couldn’t tell till now!
I started resisting whenever she comes up with what she read online, eventually we would end up of sleeping with each other. But as time went on, she began to resist my resistance as well. Having reasons to tell me that trying out new things was the best for our relationship. Eventually but reluctantly she would pin me down and seduce me to make love to her.
I realized that the more she tried all sorts of fetish on me, the more I disliked it. I remembered telling her this was not for me yet she still tried to make me realize that it was a good thing I tried with her and she loves me for making her happy, even though I was not! I thought I was doing the right thing!
She did everything to me, bought vibrators and every other funny things to the point where she sodomized me. It was crazy but I couldn’t still bring myself to leaving the relationship.
Did I enjoy it? Hello NO! Was I weak not to have walked out of the relationship? I DON’T KNOW!
The height of this crazy relationship was when we had a little fight on our romantic life and she told me she was going to punish me sexually. I thought she was going to starve me sexually, only for her to tie me up in the middle of the night and sodomized me anally. From horse whip to greasy oil, she tried all the things I read and see online! It was an agonizing experience and that was the height of it! I told myself I needed to get out of this thing I called a relationship! I knew it was TIME!
I ran away from her. Shut her from my life and had to grow up to stop missing. ( Inspite of what she did to me, I felt like I missed her)
I was drained physically and emotionally, I couldn’t even bring myself to reporting at a Police Station. What will I even tell them? That I was raped by my girlfriend? How will that sound? What will they say?
Till today, I have not been able to get down with women. The thoughts of what happened with my last girlfriend still beats me up and makes me sad emotionally.
She was so manipulative and selfish all through our relationship while she made me feel like I was the selfish one. The things women do to get us to do their biddings!
The relationship drained me inside out and I kept this inside me for a long time, causing me to lose a lot of other better girls that came my way. I feel telling you here and now will loosen the burden and make me fall in love again. Imagine you having fun with family and friends, and suddenly the memories come flooding down and making your lower tummy rumble in sadness and hurt. Till today I still struggle with what she did to me!
This is my story Dee, I hope more guys will come out and share their experiences as well. I feel happy that eventually I was able to share this with you as I have kept this in me for over a year now!
1. Is being fetish good or bad in a relationship?
2. When a partner wants to do fetish and forces the other part to do his/ her bidding. Can this be said to be RAPE?
3. Do we have any organization in Nigeria who sorts out male rape cases since it seems everyone is sympathetic towards the cause of women rape cases in the country.
4. What do you think about sexual compatibility in relationships? Is it very important or a subject to be overlooked?
I await your comments!