First three month,
First six months.
You will agree with me that those are the major points in your relationship you may never forget. The point where the direction of where you both have chosen is almost clearly defined whether written or unwritten, spoken or kept secret. That first week where everything your partner says is just funny (in which in reality they are not that quite funny ). That period where all the earth and heaven will be promised and you will tell her you won’t be the same as their ex or you won’t act this particular way or that…well!…let’s see…
That first week she said yes and you both couldn’t do nothing else but think about each other, call each other so frequently so much that ordinarily it would be offensive but it just wouldn’t be. So much text messages you had never written. That period you just wanted to think about what she is thinking like you are one sort of spirit, what she is putting on, who she’s with (I mean, you literally want to be certain in numbers how many people your woman is in touch with; spoken with in fact).That point where you miss her like every 10 seconds and you call because you just want to say hi. If she ate or not, those moments you just want to talk into the night and resume first thing in the morning, asking if she slept well. Where all that alone makes your everyday world worth living. That period where you are the most concerned citizen in the affairs of that person.
You enjoy each other’s company; your walk, your talk, the life you now have, one you live and breathe is him/her. In fact, your totality. Then the reality sets in! The point where you are learning what you truly like and not what you thought you did like. The first fight (note, not the first argument, because you might have argued many times in the course of the ‘initial gra gra’ period but it would not have degenerated into a fall out) The moment where anger and malice sets in as soon as you realize there are things you can’t tolerate. The over quietness you never considered a big deal and the lousy part, the unfriendly part, the stingy woman, the selfish man, the nonchalant individual, the divisive figure, zero ambition, the nags, the controlling figure, the boss lady, the over ambitious, his/her unsuitability to your plans. The insensitivity you now see; she not romantic, not spontaneous, not smart, unimaginative.
Now with these coming in different variations, its becoming intense, when you see your partner but the longing is not longer the same anymore. The calls have reduced considerably. When you talk, your attention or your ability to be in that listening mood starts to fade away, you are not just paying attention as before; your eyes are evading his or her. And when you walk, you discover your pace is not as patient as before. The fights are coming in bits and they are moving the perfect chess piece. Now, it become really bad when miscommunication sets in, that process that comes mostly when you assume your partner meant this or will do this when you say this or you tend to think more for them now rather than think of them.
This is the worse of the lot, when it sets in and the fights don’t just end at basic arguments but outburst, public outburst especially; then there is name calling. Although it is said that there are no irreconcilable fights but really this is what happens.
When u fight and it comes in this last category of miscommunication and outburst, especially public show of it that creates a certain level of mess it spreads like bad oil, you will be DAMAGED. I can assure you that one of you will never remain the same.
..watch out for Part Two