Divorce is a different experience for everyone, and people react to it differently. In some cases, it can plunge you into a deep lethargy, while in others, it could actually be liberating. In both cases, however, there is a time when you have to move on and try to get back in the game.
But being divorced can make your next relationships more complicated, so you’ll have to be prepared for all that it brings. Here are a few tips for people who want to get back into the dating scene after a divorce.
Take Time to Reset
You first have to make sure that you take some time for yourself and regroup. You want to reinforce the bonds with your family. You also want to spend your energy on getting your personal and financial life in order first and foremost.
You can try dipping your foot into the dating pool if you feel like it after a while, and pull back if you think you aren’t ready. Take small steps first, and make sure that you’re actually emotionally prepared to embark on your next dating chapter.
Another very important thing for people getting back into the game is to consider widening their options. You may have had a type, or thought you had one until now, but this could be the exact same reason why you’re alone right now.
You should consider revising your taste in partners and go outside of your comfort zone. While you can always have a few reasonable deal breakers, ditch the grocery list, and open yourself to the unknown.
Be Careful when Introducing them to Your Family
One of the most delicate things when dating after a divorce is the relationship your new partner will have with your kids. Not only do you have to make sure that you pick someone who’s family-oriented, but you have to make sure that they will be able to play a role without disrupting the relationship your children have with their other biological parent.
You also have to make sure that you’ve conducted a thorough background check on them. In reality, this should be done the minute you meet them to make sure that you can verify who they are. Checking their residence history could help you find out if they’re actually single or have a second family, for instance.
We suggest you use a service like Public Records Reviews to search their residence history online. All you need to do is put their first and last name, and the service will give you complete information about their previous or current real residence.
You might also be able to see if there were any court judgments that led to evictions. All of this will give you a clearer idea of who they are, and if it’s congruent with whatever they told you.
Don’t Be Afraid of Dating Apps
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, there’s the possibility that you’re not very familiar with dating apps or have misconceptions about them. These apprehensions are completely understandable, but you shouldn’t be afraid of these apps, nor assume that they’re all the same.
There are dating apps out there that are perfect for people whether you just want to play the field or are looking for something serious. There are also many targeted specifically at certain demographics and/or over a certain age.
Apps can feel a bit impersonal to some, but they’re often the only option if you’re a busy parent. People don’t meet like they used to, that’s just the reality of it, and you have to embrace change. On the upside, these apps are a great way to meet a large pool of people without too much legwork.
Once you’ve found the platform that speaks to your needs, it becomes a number and elimination game. Some great online dating sites for divorcees include OkCupid, eHarmony, and Match.com.
These will usually have matching tools that will make things much easier and prevent wasting time. You also have to be strategic when vetting potential dates.
Turning online matches into real relationships is a delicate art, and you’ll have to be able to master it if you want to be efficient.
Make sure that you speak to people face to face a few times before you meet them. Subscribe to their other social media, and make sure they do the same.
Ask if they’re married (know that half of the men on dating apps are married and only say so when asked!), and ask how they feel about family life.
Throwing in your deal breakers right away will allow you to narrow down your eligible pool and increase your chances of getting an actual match.
Dating can be tough for anybody, but especially for divorcees. So, make sure that you follow these few tips, and take baby steps before you dive in headfirst.