I just brought up with my boyfriend of 1 year and I really feel like I made a mistake breaking up with him. He obviously wanted kids in marriage while I don’t. While we dated for one year, we never really had a discussion on child bearing and all, and I thought it was fine.
Recently before the breakup, we started having the discussion and as soon as he felt our thoughts were not processed together, I broke up with him. I thought this was a great idea, and it will be the best decision for us both.
As it is now, I don’t even know how I feel. I have this upsurge of emotions whenever I think about him, and it’s really been difficult trying not to. This is really driving me crazy and I don’t even know what to do right now.
Whenever I am out with friends and colleagues, I feel okay and sane only for me to get back home and finding myself breakdown in tears and confusion. I don’t know what is wrong with me.
I keep having the feeling that I fucked up maybe I still want us to be together and all, but I don’t want to have kids. I love him and I know it, now the pain this breakup is causing me is driving me insane. I am thinking of calling him and finding ways to get back to his life, but won’t that make me selfish?
I discussed this with my friend sometimes back and he told me to try and move on because wanting to get back with him might be a case of ‘wanting to eat my cake and having it’
I am still sad as I send this to you. Please what should I do? Should I go ahead and ask for a second chance? Your view(s) will help me. Thanks