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love is gone

Love is amazing when everything is right. But what happens when the excitement associated with love is gone. What do you do when the initial gra gra phase has passed?

Time is never enough when you are with someone you love, you become hyperactive no matter the stress you went through during the day when the love is burning fire and brimstone.

Love is beautiful and no better adjective would match what you feel for your loved one. You just want to go round and round with them, love them till eternity and come back again with them.

It is that wonderful!

But what happens when the excitement fizzles out? What happens when you don’t always feel hyperactive seeing them after a long day at work? Or you hardly want to hang out now.

The feelings that you were overwhelmed with has subsided. You could almost choke at the amount of words you want to express at once then but now can’t even find one or more words to eulogise the one you love.

What happens when the fire is burning but with no visible flame. All it looks like is smoke choking your nostril.

We all have to know, the butterfly feeling we all get at the beginning of the relationship might not always be there.

Don’t get me wrong, definitely your love is still there, in fact waxing stronger if carefully managed but I’m saying the excitement you felt at the early stage might not be there anymore.

That’s why counsellors advise not to marry based only on what you think you felt. The time will come when you would struggle hard to feel this “thing”.

That brings my question.

What do you do when the excitement is gone? A lot of things might be attributed to why the excitement is down or reduced. A lot of factors can be responsible.

Now it is very paramount not to abscond at that moment you don’t feel anything anymore.

Take your time to check out what is probably causing that, carefully study yourself and your partner and when you are sure you can pin point why or why not, sit your partner down and dialogue.

I always insist communication is key to every successful relationship. Then take visible actions concerning that.

You can’t always turn down a relationship just because you feel that feelings have gone a little bit cold. More reason loved ones turn ex loved one. What happened to all the proclaimed love? When the deed is done you don’t cut the fingers, you rather throw away the knife.

Give it time to grow again. Don’t be quick to condemn a relationship and jump out as fast as you jumped in.

You would only discover your next relationship would be like that. Rekindle the love!

Do you still remember those things you did when the passion was on full throttle? You probably need to check yourself too.

What exactly are you looking for? Why the sudden attitude or feeling? If you must be sincere to yourself I’m sure you will have the answer.

Don’t break up a relationship because you are not getting the excitement you got from onset. I do agree you deserve to feel certain excitement to some degree.

You can only do better if you consider the problem and find a suitable solution to it rather than just shy away from responsibility and make everything more down and cold. If not carefully managed, you would just be passing unnecessary vibes round your loved one.

Love and loving is not that simple. It requires constant effort to maintain it. Don’t stop doing the things that got you guys attracted to each other in the first place.

As important as it is to not let go of a relationship easily, it is also important to discern when a relationship is technically over. You have got to know time to let go and not hold on to a futile relationship.

You have got to learn when love is over, when to carry on.

When truly your relationship is not just passing through the phrase of feelings quietened down but when it has totally shut down.

I wish you good luck.

Yours in Love


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1 Comment

  • Reply
    August 27, 2016 at 9:39 am

    The truth this has happened to even the best of us. The problem is people don’t actually take time to find out what exactly it was that changed, so they assume its not working out and break up. Like you said, figure out the problem and then work together on getting a solution.

    Great piece Deedee

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