Anytime I see couples in their matching outfits for traditional marriage. The guy will just look fab in the overflowing agbada and the lady will look 360° of hot and shapely in her gown and exquisite makeover.
This early morning, I just saw like 3 couples already. But wait, how much is traditional marriage?
Bride price can’t be more than N50,000 right?
If e too cost, e go be N50,000.
Then other buyable no go still pass N50,000
So let’s say N100,000 for the bride price and all the drinks and all the yam and kola when her people go chop.
No need to rent venue na, shebi na the girl papa compound dem dey use?
Canopy + chairs = N30,000, we no dey find crowd, na woman I come collect, tenkiu. If you no see chair, stand.
It’s now at N130,000
Next all the food wen people go chop.
1 cow na like N120,000, 3 or 4 bags of rice plus small chicken and firewood and all to cook am na like N80,000
Total of N230,000 now.
Next, music. 1 correct DJ and 1 live band.
I get guys wen be DJ.
I fit find am #30k, e go run am die!
Live band dey hungry seff. If I give them N70,000, dem go play till dawn.
So now it’s N330,000
Wetin remain?
Our agbada and gown. Important sontin.
Na correct tailor go run am.
@Ugomonye levels.
So like N100,000 suppose run both me and her own.
Another N100,000 for the second dressing and all the accessories and to pay for makeup bla bla but her friends suppose come do her makeup sha.
So up till now, we have spent N530,000.
What else?
Photographer? Shebi na soft copy? N20,000 don cover am. So its now N550,000.
Wetin again?
MC? Ahaa! Like #50k go run better MC for me.
The one wen go dey tell me say “press her yansh”, ” kiss her”, I go dey do like say I no like wetin e dey talk but na me send am.
I go juss dey press, dey kiss dey go.
The MC go also raise money for us. Him go raise like 1million at least.
So now its at N600,000
What else?
It doesn’t need to be in TV biko.
We never blow.
So what else?
Cake oo!
Abeg, no be to mould calabash?
N10,000 don kill am.
The N10,000 go come out from change wen go come from somewhere when we don calculate over.
So with N600,000, man don do traditional marriage ba?
I don get wife be that o.
Once my kini just rise small, I no go dey think who to call again. I go juss dey go house!
I go don be “married man”.
So na because of N600,000 all these people dey pepper me upandan?
Una go die for my hand!
I have 5,000 Facebook friends on each of my 3 Facebook account, you go talk wetin you fit contribute to the traditional marriage.
If I be calculate am join, I go use the money do another thing.
Please my future wife and I are depending on you to make our gbenshing legal!
Stop laughing and say what you will bring or do for us.
Over to you!
About the Writer - Harrison Emu
Harrison Emu is a graduate of Medical School from Delta State University, Nigeria.
He currently works as a Project Lead for Youth Network for Community & Sustainable Development, Nigeria (YNCSD). Harrison is passionate about young people and innovation. He is a serial entrepreneur with 3 different startups under him around the country. He has won several awards both personally and representing Nigeria - most recently at the AAIN awards in Dakar, Senegal where he was shortlisted as one of the top 15 young agro-allied youths in Africa. He currently lives in Agbor, Delta State, Nigeria. emuharrison16@gmail.com 09031232625
Harrison writes primarily to entertain. He feels good seeing different people laugh on a piece. So his work serves 3 main purposes; Education. Diversity. Entertainment.
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