How To Face Your Reality: Everybody wants to be happy, appear rich and relaxed, showcase the happy-go-lucky spirit, speak with so much freedom, choose their own meals, listen to their favourite music play early in the morning. We know how it feels when we lay in bed on a very cosy day and just chat with our best friends out rightly random, unserious gist, laugh really hard even at a seemingly sarcastic joke, like we’ve got no problem, like we’ve got our entire life figured out fully, wow! hakuna matata.
Life throws different shades at us at different times and we cannot but let these shades beat us down in this game called life. Like the woman on the street who lost her husband to the war, a trader whose stall has just been demolished, a university undergraduate who has just been rusticated from school after his parents have spent their fortune, an average family trying so hard to get by living in a very flooded area, a teenager who just found out she’s pregnant, a young man who’s just lost his job because the company couldn’t afford to continue, the list is endless.
It is said that life has its ups and down; it is not certain that the ride would be completely smooth, it’s not going to be a totally jolly ride, it’s not going to be as easy as a walk in the park – without obstacles, without thorns and hard bricks on the way.
When life knocks you down really hard, what do you do? How do you face the reality staring in your face when you are alone? How do you get up and go? Truth is, we all have been there, done that, we are aware of the need to get up and go, take the next step, but how do you even do that when we are still trying to evaluate the situation, trying to figure out how you got into that mess.
In as much as we need to clearly comprehend the situation so we can know how to manage it, we cannot dwell in this analysis for too long, we need to accept it and get going.
So many times, we get to that T-junction of life and start to think about it. How do I face my reality? I may not have the blueprint of how to do this but one thing is very key, we need to face it, it will be very unwise of one to run from it.
When my former workplace closed down, it was a bitter pill to swallow, I loved the job, good pay, great work environment, brilliant colleagues. I never ever imagined that it would end someday. It took me days to accept that reality, but I summoned the courage and spoke with a counsellor because I was broken and sad.
I was encouraged to start sending out applications with my resume and soon started attending interviews – I needed to get another job. It did take me some time, but I did get some lessons out of that situation. I learnt that nothing was permanent and that everything we have is a gift that we must cherish with each passing day.
Irrespective of your pitfalls and challenging reality, you need to be very truthful to yourself, don’t ever lie to yourself if you love yourself and desire the solution. The fact that you are passing through an unpalatable situation at the moment doesn’t mean that’s how your life will end, things will surely get better. It’s like picking out stones from a plate of grains, take the lessons from that situation and discard the rest.
Seek a solution, the process starts with you accepting the point-blank truth about your circumstance and start finding a solution instead of pretending like everything is okay. Pretending that everything is okay when it is not is not healthy. Agree with yourself that you need help, speak with a friend who understands, a relative willing to lend a helping hand, lean on people around for solace, don’t try to handle it alone, because you may be overwhelmed by it.
Take action, if someone can sincerely help you, don’t keep quiet, reach out to such person, throw away ‘’Alan posing’’, ‘’shyness’’, be humble, willing and strong to receive help. I wouldn’t advise divulging confidential information to someone you can’t trust but find someone you can speak with and pour out your heart. No effort can be too much when seeking a solution.
Don’t quit, don’t stop seeking a solution, never back down on this journey of life, pick up the pieces of your life and get going, remember you are not alone. Please don’t remain alone as you find help. Someday soon, everything is going to work out just right and you would have a very bright smile on your face because you deserve to be happy.
About the Writer - Christiana Ogeleka A graduate of mass communication from the University of Lagos, majored in writing and editing, specialised in content, editorials and publications. Career-wise, I have experience in client relationship management, logistics, sales and content support. I believe in love, living, and giving, without the small things this life would be meaningless. I enjoy intellectual discussions, surfing the web, cooking and karaoke.