My parents were the type who believed every child must be kept busy one way or the other after school hours and their own way of keeping me busy was by getting me a lesson teacher. It was during my early primary school days. Uncle X was one of the most friendly teachers in my school, he was also very handsome with a good sense of humor which he used in winning everyone’s heart including the parents. Most students who always had extra lessons with other teachers moved to uncle X’s lesson as soon as he started his after-school lessons in which I wasn’t left behind. He was also my class teacher so he spends extra time to teach his own students so we could do well in our exams.
Along the way, my school canceled all extra lessons held in school for some reasons known to them, due to this, uncle X lost most of his students except me and a few others. So he brought up the idea of us coming to his house after school for the lesson including Saturdays. My parents had no issues with it since they felt it was a way of keeping me occupied as every other parent would and since uncle x was known to be a very respectable person. The other kids I was having the lesson with left my school at some point, so it was just me and 3 others. I was the most punctual of them all, especially the Saturday classes.
One day after a lesson, I decided to stay a bit after a Saturday day class because we finished quite early and I knew there would be no one at home since my parents had an event they were attending. I was sitting on the floor watching TV (his room was set up in the typical Naija big boy way of that time), he asked me to come and sit on the bed and I told him I was OK on the floor. After much persuasion I answered, I laid down with my chest, so he stood up and locked the door. I started becoming scared, so I jumped up with speed from his bed and told him I wanted to start going. He held my hand very tight and place his other hand on my cheek and asked me with a calm voice why I was in a hurry all of a sudden to go, I told nothing that I just want to go, I was still trying to struggle with him when he pushed me on the bed.
He took a knife from the wardrobe and told that he would kill me if I screamed, so I held my mouth like a baby so I don’t scream out loud like he said, he asked me to lay down properly on the bed, he came to the bed and removed my pant, I was still trying to struggle then he held the knife up again and asked me to stay calm that he was only going to put the tip that he wasn’t going to disvirgin me. He fingered me with to two of his fingers from one hand and still held the knife on the other, all I had in me was fear, after he was done, he unzipped his trousers and brought out his d***k, I got even more scared and started crying more, he yelled at me to keep quiet and said its just the tip and it won’t take long.
He put the tip like he said, rubbed it through my clit and vulva and he was done. By the time he was done, my uniform was stained a little at the back, he asked me to remove it, he then ironed dried. He gave me back to wear then unlocked the door, I quickly picked up my school bag, with the aim of running out, he pulled me back and held the knife at me again, and warned to never to say anything to anyone if not he would kill me.
He gave me N50 to buy sweet and biscuits which I tore on my way. I felt empty on my way as if I just lost something, I was still covered in fear, my whole body was shaking, I was feeling pain everywhere. I met my mum in the sitting room when I got home, she immediately came to me and asked if something was wrong, I really wanted to talk but I remembered uncle x’s voice telling me he would kill me if I said anything to anyone. Instead, I started crying and told my mum I fell inside the gutter on my way back. I couldn’t sleep that night, I was surrounded with fear, the whole scene kept on playing in my head, I was angry, sad, confused and scared and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. My mum noticed changes in my behavior and was constantly asking if something was wrong, I would keep saying no.
The next Monday, I got to school to find out that uncle x had resigned, apparently most of the teachers knew he had tendered his resignation letter from the beginning of the former week. I was shocked, weak. I sat somewhere and cried again. I was also relieved that whatever had happened wasn’t going to happen again. I would cry every night for a long time until it just stopped and I got over it.
A few years ago, I saw him again, I was standing by the roadside, he yelled my name, as soon as I saw him, I had that fear and anger again, it got worse when he got closer, he probably noticed it, he whispered “I’m not going to touch you” in my hears, he was also trying to start a conversation with me, thank God I got a bike almost immediately and left him there. My heart kept on beating fast through out the whole day.
Today I saw him again, and I had the same fear and anger all over me, he tried talking to me but whatever he had to say I wasn’t and would never be interested, typing this alone makes me feel some kind of way, I feel choked up putting all of these in words, I don’t even know what this means, I feel like if I had told someone about it, it wouldn’t have been tormenting me this way. I’m scared this fear and anger might never go away, I’m scared I might never forget. I always thought I had moved on until he pops up in my presence again.
It’s been a really long time, yet the fear won’t just go away. I still haven’t told anyone about it till today.