Relationship Hacks

Nigerian Woman Who Shared Her Traumatic Marriage Experience Finds Love Again

abusive first marriage experience

Remember the story shared on the blog sometimes ago about Eniola EnMae Adeniji who shared the story of her abusive first marriage experience on the blog here, she finally found the man of her DREAMS and they are getting married. She shared this amazing news on her Facebook page – which subsequently led to series of congratulatory comments from family and friends including yours truly.

Read her inspiring and emotional Facebook post below:

For several days I had posts written and I either just filed them away or just deleted them.

But the past few days has sure brought about a lot of emotions, a rollercoaster of them… At first I was ok, then alright (chuckles), then numb, then excited and then been sobber (good sobber)… Hopefully I get out of that soon.

You see the thing with going through a divorce is, it is a deeply rooted wound and it takes years, time (a whole lot of it), God, family, rediscovering purpose and being intentional for it to heal, and even when it does heal, the scar is forever there as a badge reminding you what you came out of.

It is very easy for people to say, oh move on, life happens and every other conjured up words. But rarely do people talk about the deep rooted anxiety that comes with thinking about divorce, endless nights of thinking if you really wanted to do it or not. Then the what ifs. With the biggest ones being, what if nobody wanted to be with me because of this decision? What if they judge me for it? What if this, what if that.

And then when you finally walk away, the anxiety about how hypocritical a lot of people can be, how people who are still in terrible abusive relationships/marriages will look at you with distain that you have failed as a woman, because you dared to leave in other to live.

And then you travel through life healing, rediscovering yourself, mending your relationship with God, family and friends. Chasing your dreams again, building that low low self esteem again, loving God, loving you, loving life… Being hopeful and most of all prayerful…

And while busy doing that, love finds you again. You know you’ve desired it, laid awake thinking about it, prayed for and about it, daydreamed about it, worry if it’d ever come to pass, panic what if it doesn’t ever come again… And it goes on and on. And now that you finally got it, the anxiety of losing it lingers on the back of your mind. Because you couldn’t stop to think about those you had thought it could be them in the past. But you know this is it, but yet you just worry, maybe because you’d experienced so many takers in the past, or just disbelief that its finally happened.

Its funny and crazy how the significance of the breakthrough makes you wonder if you are being desperate or just paranoid.

But its real… He is here DFH (Dear Future Husband), and he isn’t my past in anything, he loves, honour and respect me beyond words. And I do truly utterly love him and have no doubt we’d make an amazing couple (and babies too *tongue-out) some day (soon hopefully).

And I just couldn’t wait to tell the world, “He is here”. And most importantly that God writes the most amazing love stories, and He is soooo good at using those the world thought unworthy to show how awesome He is.

So…. Save the date *tongue-out* it is #TheBales18
#EnnmaePen #GratefulHeart

Isn’t love just beautiful. One thing is sure. With God, we will all find love. Please send your congratulations to Eniola in the comments below. Love is indeed beautiful!

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