Ramblings of a Lagos girl: Lagos Sense

I am not one sharp Lagos girl. Go back to that line and drag the ‘a’ in the sharp. But I understand and know the Lagos sense; that sense where you realize you don’t have the money to enter bus but yet you enter with thirty naira when they tell you its fifty naira. Whatever goes on after you want to give that thirty naira is ruled by the Lagos sense which called Survival of the Fittest.

My case is different as I said. Sha don’t laugh me when you finish reading this story, because e go pain me more. Even after three weeks, whenever I remember what happened, I still hold myself from crying.

A friend called from Ilorin saying he needed my help to pick up some documents at Yaba, ASAP. I laughed into my phone’s speaker and told him that even if I wanted to help, I cannot jog to Yaba from Ikeja and back. He thought about it then sent me Two thousand naira as transport fare. I was happy, as a Lagos girl with sense, I had even calculated my to and fro and the change that might eventually remain. Girls must buy recharge card too now.

Hmmmn, I dressed up and ready to go, my mother called me back and asked if I had eaten. I told her not to worry. My plan was to get fruits on my way back. Feeling fly, I hit the road.

Prior to leaving the house, I borrowed additional one hundred naira from my Mum in order to have a litle change in my purse and made mouth to give it back when I return. I detoured to the ATM machine and withdrew the two thousand naira. I was set to go, but I’ll need your help with mathematics, don’t worry it’s plus and minus 😉.

So this girl has two thousand, one hundred naira in her purse. She boarded a bus to Yaba from Ikeja for two hundred naira, and collected change, From Yaba, she took a bike of three hundred naira to her destination paying whole. Makes Five hundred gone right?

After the transaction, she took a bus of fifty naira to Onipanu and collected change. Alighted and bought fruits worth four hundred naira and collected change.

The weather was getting terrible, the sun was biting and she was thinking of which route home would save her from the sun faster home. She entered a bus going to Ikeja for one hundred and fifty naira. In order to have enough change for her last bus ride, she gave the conductor one thousand and fifty naira. She then alighted and trekked – you know Olowu bustop on your way to the airport? Yes, that’s where she alighted, then trekked down Olowu street and entered a bus going to Shoprite, Alausa Secretariat (home). She dipped her hand to pay and she came up with fifty naira(the exact amount for the trip) and wondered where are other monies were.

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Hmmm, she just looked up and stared straight ahead. She couldn’t cry. You know what happened now.

Arrrggh, all my plans… Wooosh! Strong face. I got home, didn’t greet anybody on the street. I beheld my mother and remembered the mouth I made. I was left with fruits -mangoes and plum – and back to square one.

Laugh o, I know its funny but while you are doing that, so I won’t feel alone, tell me when and how something similar to this happened to you.

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  • Reply
    March 15, 2016 at 9:58 am

    I was still in school was a Futoite. Planned to spend the weekend with an aunt who stays somewhere in Mbaise and had asked me to come take some money for upkeep. On the said day which happened to be a Friday evening, i boarded a bus from Futo to the main town and had only 1000naira on me. On getting into Owerri, i alighted, off went the bus and it turns out that i forgot to collect my change from the conductor. Night was fast approaching and i was confused on which was better going back home which would cost 100naira or getting to my aunts house which still needed 300naira.
    Finally, my Lag instinct came up and i boarded the next bus headed for Mbaise with no Kobo. By the time the bus conductor requested for his fare, i told him the place i was sitting was tight that i would give him when i alight. Getting to my bus stop, the i asked the first bike that approached me to give the conductor 150 with a promise to pay when we get home. by the time we got home i guess u can conclude for yourself……I was home and dry!

  • Reply
    March 18, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    mine is just so different, when i was in primary school my usualy gives my elder bro our transport fare, some days when we join d bus and when asked to pay my bro will start searching his pocket knowing fully well he had spent it during break, once i see him searching i’ll just burst into tears, conductors will start insulting us, they’ll call us thieves, one almost seized my bag one day i dragged my bag and told him to take my brother’s bag cos he got the money missing.

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