The older we get, the less we laugh.
The less we laugh, the older we get, it seems. Or so it really is.
Out of all the adult people I know, the married ones hardly laugh out. Especially men. They find few things funny and on such rare moments when they let themselves laugh, it comes out tight, stiff, as if it is something embarrassing for someone to laugh aloud. They come out laughing and sounding like hyenas —forced, cunning and insincere.
My pops actually told me once that as an adult you come off sounding like a fool when you laugh out loud. Especially in public. And I have really heard persons call someone foolish for laughing aloud.
And some adults actually hold themselves from laughing, that is, they actively stifle it.
Then these same adults will pay thousands of naira this December to attend comedy shows. They will go there with their concubines and laugh all the ones they have not laughed since January.
Many men don’t want to laugh in the presence of their wives. They think laughing reduces their worth, their manliness. They think their children will take them for granted if they laugh with them.
But they can do all the laughing at Ay Live Show with their side chicks.
But women laugh more.
This is probably why they outlive their husbands and inherit the property and enjoy the grandchildren.
Women will hug each other, press each other’s behinds, play and jest about how their breasts are falling, they will joke about their husband’s inability to laugh and how much that is costing his nightly duties. Then they will laugh and laugh and laugh about their friends who are yet unmarried because of their strong head and feminism.
I have seen this happen. They will laugh and laugh. Consequently, they hardly show signs of ageing.
This is why children are closer to their mothers. Me, I’m closer to my sweet mother o. My father hardly laughed. He was a brooding emperor whose fiefdom was the sitting room. His leg is always stretched out on the table and his brows squinched together in deep thoughts.
Men overthink things.
Women just want to cook and fill everyone up with food and good pleasure.
Men want to calculate. They want to deliberate. They want to officiate. They want to inundate. They want to collate. They want to abrogate. They want to quote. They want to vote. They want to note. They want to negotiate. They want to revolt. Then they get arrested by the DSS.
How then can they smile? How can they ever laugh?
The only thing they can do is get old and then die.
You know, some men won’t even let their children laugh in peace.
When they notice their children is laughing and enjoying themselves, they shout for them to go and read their books, to go and do their homework or to go and fetch water.
How much does laughter cost?
How much does not laughing cost?
It can cost you your marriage. It has cost young boys their girlfriends. It has cost some people their jobs.
It can cost you your health.
Not laughing can give you high BP, high cholesterol, stroke, malaria, kidney problems, coronary issues, bad posture, pot belly, osteoporosis, big head, sore throat, cough, halitosis, erectile dysfunction, HIV, lapalapa, uncontrollable farting, depression, your landlord will hate you, and things like these.
In fact, that heaven that you say you want to go, God will not allow you to enter it because He is a happy God.
It is not a crime to laugh.
I’m talking to you adults. Laugh, please. Be laughing well. It is good for your health.
Husbands, laugh with your wife, laugh with your children. Laugh with your neighbours. Keep laughing.
Laugh again. Laugh some more.
Or is laughing hate speech?