TRUST ISSUES

Boy:

I am so lucky to have her as my girlfriend; she’s so beautiful, smart, charming, ambitious, driven, caring and lively. Any guy would be lucky to have her, I bet she gets wooed like 10 times a day (takes a deep breath ) which makes me wonder if I can trust her.

I mean how many times can she say no, I’m sure she won’t blink an eye before she starts seeing someone else if she thinks they’re better than me, which makes me wonder why she’s with me anyway.

Is she just holding on till a better offer comes along? After all, people say women can’t be trusted. Does she really love me? What if she ends up breaking my heart? I don’t think I can live with that, so what do I do? How do I prevent being heartbroken?

It’s like that Sean Kingston song, you’re way too beautiful girl that’s why it’ll never work, you’ll leave me suicidal when you say it’s over

(Paces back and forth ) Yes! I got it, I will rather be 50% in than go all in and lose everything.

I won’t put my whole heart in this relationship again. Better still, I’ll start double dating so I don’t lose totally when it’s all said and done.

But wait a minute! What if she’s not cheating on me? What if she truly loves me? No, that can’t be right, she’s too beautiful to stick to just me besides why will she even choose me over all the other guys anyway. I better give hold up there and share my love with another….

Girl:

I am the happiest woman in the world, I’m so in love with my man, he’s everything to me. He’s handsome,caring,kind, a perfect gentleman and a very nice guy.

I can see why my friends can’t take their eyes of him. See them green with envy every time they see us together, they all want him but he’s mine so they can’t have him, or can they?

He’s just too good a guy not to attract interest from ladies and his friendliness might just get him in trouble eventually. I wonder if I can really trust him after all he’s a guy and they only truly think about and want one thing.

I wonder if he finds me satisfactory but he’s a man and nothing satisfies them, how much longer can he stay before he finds someone prettier and sexier?

Does he really love me? Do I feature in his future plans or he’s just toying with me? What if he breaks my heart? What if I catch him cheating on me? My whole world will collapse without repair because I love him too much, I don’t think I can take that.

Its better I start to double date as I’m sure he’s already doing that, after all men cheat these days, I’ll continue to love and support him but I’ll also have a second boyfriend just in case he breaks my heart, yeah that’s what I’ll do, two can play that game if he thinks he’s smart, well! I’m smarter.

The paragraphs above is a sneak peek into the hearts of two people in a relationship. They admire and seem to truly appreciate each other but they don’t trust each other.

An obvious lack of trust that evolved from nothing really. Both parties do not have a genuine reason not to trust one another but they let inferiority complex get the best of them and I’m pretty sure we know how that relationship is going to end.

It is basically a disaster waiting to happen and it all started with a simple thought, “am I good enough for him/her”.

This a basic example of a relationship nowadays; two parties that claim to love each other but simply do not trust each other.

People go into relationship thinking it won’t work and at the end of the day when it doesn’t work they feel justified. Why even go into it?

I hate to burst your bubble but there is no rationalization behind this thought process at all. You actually created a time bomb for your relationship. I understand how bad experience in the past could make one cautious and all, but there’s a reason it’s called love.

It entails putting yourself out there even when you don’t know what to expect, trusting without reason, caring with no expectation. It’s like jumping out of a plane without a parachute, you let go of all your fears and doubts and hope you don’t crash and burn.

I know it sounds silly but that’s the definition of a healthy relationship and trust is the key.

Makinde ‘Brainac’ Teniola

PhotoCredit: Wikihow.com