I see people voicing cases of domestic abuse on the social media, wives being battered by their husbands, even cases of sexual abuse is now everywhere. When people talk of abuse, what comes to mind is the case of battery and physical assault on women.

The truth of the matter is that not all abusive relationship are filled with violence. Just because you have not been punched, beaten, battered or raped doesn’t mean you are not being abused. A lot of people suffer from some other form of abuse known as emotional abuse. This type of abuse is even more dangerous and a slow killer than the pronounced one we see and hear about every day.

In Nigeria unfortunately, we overlook the symptoms. Even the person being abused does not know until the emotional damage has been done.

The ultimate aim of emotional abuse is to kill your confidence. What it does in most cases is to destroy your self-worth and make you think you can never get out of the relationship.

People think physical abuse is usually more terrible than emotional abuse since you end up with physical scars, maybe even in the hospital. The scars from emotional abuse are even more surreal and they are inflicted more deeply than physical abuse. In some instances, emotional abuse can even be more damaging than physical abuse.

People usually say in an intimate relationship, the man is usually the abuser and the lady the victim. The funny thing is man and woman abuse each other in cases of emotional abuse, in fact it can occur between family – mother and child, friends and even relatives.

Emotional abuse involves a consistent model of verbal abuse, hounding and consistent condemnation as well as some more clever tactics like intimidation and exploitation. The abuse is used most times to control and hold back the other party.

In recent polls, and interviews with people, so many do not even realize that they are suffering from emotional abuse until it is late and then there is the psychological effect of whatever actions has been caused by the abuse.

Here are most 10 notable signs of emotional abuse:

1. Regularly pointing out flaws of everything you do

2. Consistently ridicule of your achievements, and your dreams

3. They always make it look like they are always right and you are wrong

4. They always try to control your finances and attempt to control how you spend money as well.

5. Constant chastising and criticizing of your actions

6. Giving of condescending body language to your opinion

7. Always casting blames on your as the originator of their problems and life difficulties

8. They don’t take personal responsibility. They play victim and then blame you rather than take personal responsibility.

9. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.

10. They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control you.

What is very important to you is to read and understand the signs of emotional abuse. If you recognize it, then you need to get it stopped so as not to destroy what you have taken so long to build. You can also attempt to see a counselor because emotional abuse is as psychological as physical abuse.

For those on the suffering end of emotional abuse, please attempt to consult a counselor as well. Such person(s) will help you deal with the trauma and pain if you eventually decide to leave the already fraught relationship.

Finally, note that an emotional abuser can really change if he/she desires to , only if! Emotional abusers enjoy the psychological advantage they have over their victims and most of them do not intend to turn themselves in as expected.

Emotional abuse breaks to the center of your crucial self, which can create eternal mental scars and disturbing ache.

Voice out if you are being victimized, talk to a professional: let them get you out. If there are no available professionals around you, please SCRAM! Nothing is more precious than your life!

I hope I made some sense, please drop your comments and opinions. It drives us to do better!

About The Author

Team Lead - Contents

The brain behind Deedeesblog, Detola is an embodiment of creativity - With deep knowledge in Counseling and Photography, He started this platform to share happiness via digital contents in Relationships and Documentaries. Content here tells a story with the intention to shape narratives. What's your Love and Life story? Care to Share? Connect with Detola on

5 Responses

  1. makinde teniola

    Thats very true, plenty people suffering emotional abuse in relationships /marriage

  2. Thonia

    I love This post. Most people actually don’t know they are emotionally abused. The effect of this emotional abuse is that self confidence and self worth would be lost and the person would be badly hurt. Let’s hope everyone finds strength to leave whatever relationship thats not healthy

  3. Chukwuebuka ogbuchi

    Emotional abuse is a bad one and happens something in your work place, what it worst is when you think about it. Try and be self who you’re that alone can help you.

  4. Abdulmalik

    Wow this guy have murdered it. I was once a victim of this circumstance, I’m always on the wrong side whenever things goes wrong. It hurt anyway but I was doing that for love lol. But at the later end I wise up. Thank for sharing this wonderful article.


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