What about your boyfriend?
ONE:
I have an undying disgust for people who ask you about your boyfriend when you mention that you need help.
Most of the time you don’t even ask them, you just mention openly that you need something and the next thing is to open their smelly mouths and ask, “Your boyfriend nko?”
It vexes me. It sickens me. It nauseates me.
The problem with this sort of mentality is that you unconsciously expect that when a lady needs something, she doesn’t have a problem if she has a boyfriend. As long as she has a boyfriend, all her (financial) problems are gone.
The same set of people who ask you to meet your boyfriend when you’re in need of help are the same people who will also tell you that you’re materialistic when you tell them you don’t want to date a guy who doesn’t have a lot of money.
That’s not a normal or reasonable way to think, just in case you didn’t know that before now.
TWO:
These ones do not ask after your boyfriend. They ask you, “Am I your boyfriend?”
Once, I overheard a girl in my class back in school ask a guy to quickly lend her some money and that she was going to pay back later.
Dude retorted and said, “Am I your boyfriend?”
Oh, what now? You mean, you can’t help out because you’re not her boyfriend.
It’s people like you that will ask for sex in exchange for favour. Somebody wants to borrow money from you and the next thing you can think of is that you aren’t her boyfriend? Even if it’s dash sef.
Because her boyfriend is her saviour and keeper, Jehovah Jireh and provider… Okayyy!
THREE:
The people who see you looking all beautiful and start telling you, “Ah ahn, your boyfriend is trying o. See how you are shining.”
Are you mad ni? Is anything wrong with you ni?
So I can’t buy my stuff myself or look good by myself and for myself, it definitely has to be my boyfriend buying it.
Not husband o, boyfriend. Not father o, boyfriend.
Does it occur to you that I could have bought what I wear or eat or use by myself and with MY OWN money? Do I have to survive on another person’s sweat?
You see a girl walking with her boyfriend and she looks so beautiful you just have to assume that her boyfriend is the one responsible for her life.
Are you in their relationship? Did the girl tell you her boyfriend is the one ultimately funding her bills? Or did the guy tell you? Why do you assume? No, why?
Let me just stop typing before you people think I’m angry. I’m actually angry and disgusted, anyway.
My verdict:
1. If a lady needs help genuinely, don’t direct her back to her boyfriend, whether she has one or not. If you don’t have, tell her you don’t have and let everyone move on. That’s the humanly thing to do.
2. If you see a lady looking beautiful, stop telling her her boyfriend is trying UNLESS you are sure he is responsible for that. It’s one of two things; If her boyfriend is truly responsible, she’ll find nothing wrong with your comment. If her boyfriend isn’t, she might feel utterly insulted.
3. Ladies, as much as it lies within your power, find something doing and make your own money. If anyone now wants to give you money (boyfriend or not), they won’t be funding your existence.
Also, asking people for help is good but please ensure that the people you are asking have sense. And I’m sure there are a lot of sensible people in your life. (There are in mine).
About Orifunke Lawal Orifunke Lawal is a blogger, a content creator, and a professional writer. As a creative person, she loves writing about provocative topics and insightful subjects. At the moment, she's working on a project called The Lagos Series which shares an enlightening, entertaining and inspiring narrative of Lagos. If Funke is not working, she's doing one of browsing, sleeping or looking for trouble. You can check out her blog at orifunkelawal.com.
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