The pregnancy was 2 weeks old so we thought it was going to be easy to terminate it but we were very wrong because we tried everything to flush it out, it just didn’t work.
I thought of abortion pills and D&C but I was afraid of the consequence so eventually, we left the baby.
I couldn’t tell my parents until the pregnancy was 3 months old, so I told my brother who was responsible for my education on WhatsApp because I couldn’t face him.
He later contacted the families to break the news.
After all said and done, we fixed a date for introduction but it was later canceled due to a misunderstanding between a member of both families.
He changed afterwards, he doesn’t spend time with me like before, and when I confronted him about his lack of time. His only excuse would be that he was trying to get a good job so that he can take up his responsibility.
As the pregnancy continued to grow, I became uncomfortable living with my parents so I discussed with him on the marriage issue. He went livid and berserk, shouted at me that can’t I be considerate? He doesn’t have the money for the lists from my parents.
I concluded that I was not having the discussion with him again. I felt bad because I was not the one that created the baby in my tummy. We both did it together and we should both accept that.
However, he grew cold to me until my delivery day.
Despite his attitude at that time, he was in the labour room with me on delivery day as I delivered a beautiful baby girl.
After my delivery, he came back to his senses and decided to beg my family for his cold treatment when I was pregnant.
Eventually, we had our introduction after the delivery of the baby!
I moved in with him and we started living as husband and wife.
I trusted him completely as I figured that he was in love with me and appreciated me as his woman.
Until that fateful day.
Whenever our daughter cries, he gives her one of his phones to play with. That day I came into the room and found my daughter struggling to put the phone in her mouth. In my bid to collect the phone from her, I checked the screen to confirm whether it was damaged only to see the message he sent to a girl about some recharge card and some other fairly naughty convos.
I noticed from the tone of the conversation that he usually chats with me that way back then. Something told me to check the chat but because I trusted him and I had no right to his privacy. I just ignored the chat.
Exactly 3 days later, I was awakened by the cry of my baby so I picked her up and was breastfeeding her when I noticed his Blackberry phone beeped.
I took the phone with the intention of giving it him only to find a message from the same lady that he chatted with earlier, so I opened it and saw all the previous chats.
How they have been having sex
How he intends to bring him into his house as a second wife.
I was shocked and devastated!
I loved him, I trusted him.
We had plans that it was going to be just me and me alone!
He promised me, He swore to me.
How could he have cheated on me?
I couldn’t eat for days, so I became lean and unkept but I really didn’t care or notice it.
All I felt was hatred, betrayal, used and foolish.
I reported to all the families since everyone noticed I was looking unkempt and starved. The feeling was something I could not deal with.
The family has apologized, he has apologized as well and it took me months before I could be myself again, to forgive him.
Yes, I have forgiven him, but trusting him is the issue I have at the moment.
How can I live with someone I do not trust? Should I move to my parents’s house?
How do I even deal
I still love him, I know but the pain still hurts till today!
What should I do?