5 Helpful Hints for Writing Personal Wedding Vows: Reciting wedding vows is probably the most touching moment of the ceremony. Imagine all your friends and family in tears of joy and happiness while you share the most beautiful personal memories and express gratitude to your partner for agreeing to be alongside you for the rest of your lives.
And while some couples don’t even have to prepare for this special moment, for some people writing their wedding vows is a stressful experience. Remember that “Friends” episode, where Monica and Chandler struggle to write their wedding vows? That’s not just a single case, it happens a lot.
Writing your wedding vows might take a bit more time than you would expect, including having to check your vows with the free grammar checker. But it doesn’t have to stress you out. And with these 5 helpful hints that you’ll be able to effortlessly write the most breathtaking and tear-jerking personal wedding vows.
1. Get Inspiration from Pictures and Videos
If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, it can be hard to remember all the important moments in your relationship. Moreover, they all seem to slip away from your memory once you sit down to write your wedding vows.
Going through some of your shared pictures and videos may help you to relive the memories, as it will fill you with the long-forgotten feelings and emotions. “Holding on to certain possessions can evoke certain emotions, bringing along the memories that are often long-forgotten”, says Mary C. Lamia, a Ph.D. in Psychology in her article for Psychology Today.
But it’s not only pictures and videos that can bring inspiring memories. If you keep a memory box and store some meaningful personal items there, given to you by your partner, you can draw some inspiration for your wedding vows.
Here are some ideas on how pictures, videos, and other personal things can be incorporated into your wedding vows:
- Make a collage of photos to walk your partner and your guests through the memory lane. You can arrange photos in chronological order or sort them according to the events that happened during your relationship. Photo collage should have a final meaning. For example, how your life changed thanks to your partner and what you were able to achieve in this relationship.
- Video highlights. If you and your partner have videos from your childhood, you can use it to create a video-collage and play it while reading your vows. This is not just a cute wedding moment: you emphasize that all your life you were waiting for this one person to change it, and now you finally feel complete, having your partner in your life.
- You can build your personal vows around one little object that holds a special place in your relationship and then expand your narration talking about how much change your partner has brought into your life.
2. Go Over Your Highs and Lows
All couples have to deal with highs and lows in their relationships. When the euphoria ends, all couples face differences, which often lead to misunderstandings, which only those who truly love each other can get through.
Hannah Brooks from Tiny Buddha, sharing her experience about having highs and lows in a relationship, says that it is probably the most eye-opening experience in a relationship that teaches you to appreciate your partner more and strengthens your love and respect for each other.
How can you incorporate this knowledge into your wedding vows?
- Thank your partner for remaining supportive during the most difficult moments in your relationship;
- Praise them for sharing happiness and sadness, and always being by your side;
- Stress, how much there’s to learn and that you’re ready to obtain this knowledge together;
- Express confidence in your partner and how much you value their support.
3. Think About What Your Partner Taught You
Every person we meet in our lives is a teacher. Some come and go, while others may stay with us for a lifetime, but all people that surround us at any point in our lives teach us valuable lessons.
Your partner is a teacher, too. During your relationship, you’ve probably received some important lessons that might have changed your perception of your relationship and of life in general. Peter Edison, a wedding speech writer and consultant at Studicus.com, talking about his big experience of writing wedding vows and speeches, tells that partners experience gratitude and an immense feeling of fulfillment when they hear that they helped someone learn and accomplish something.
You may want to mention that your partner has taught you:
- Patience as the best things in life are worth waiting for;
- Compassion and empathy, as they are the foundation of kindness that your partner surrounds you with;
- Genuine love that is devoid of judgment and prejudice, and how lucky you are to have such love in your life.
4. Make it Adorably Funny, But Focus on the Sentiments
Incorporating humor into your wedding vows doesn’t depersonalize them. In fact, some kind-hearted humor can make your vows a bit more light, letting your partner and your guests take a break from all that crying.
However, there are some things to remember. Jaimie Buerger, a contributing writer for Martha Stuart Weddings, says that:
- you shouldn’t rely much on the inside jokes, as they might not be clear for your guests;
- making jokes at your partner’s expense (i.e., highlighting their drawbacks in a funny way) is absolutely not allowed;
- oversharing and hyperbolizing is also not a good idea for a personal wedding vow.
If you want to joke, make it adorable. But remember that reciting wedding vows is a sentimental experience, so keep focused on that.
5. Remember Who You Dedicate Your Vows to
The last thing that is important to remember is that you address only your partner in your wedding vows. It’s not a show, it’s not a standup performance. It’s your personal experience that you share first of all with your partner.
Having guests cry or laugh at your wedding is not your primary goal. Your main goal is to say how much you love your partner and how lucky you are to have them by your side.
Final Words on Helpful Hints for Writing Personal Wedding Vows
Writing wedding vows is the most beautiful and touching experience. You get to remind yourself one more time, why you love your partner and how grateful you are to have them in your life. Using these tips will help you create beautiful and touching personal vows that you and your partner will remember for the rest of your happy life.