Benefits of premarital counseling: Premarital counseling is very important before marriage as it helps a lot for the couple to understand what marriage really takes and how important and serious such decision is.
Mostly, premarital counseling has been an art practice by religious bodies, as a primary guide for a couple to prepare their mind for the decision of marriage. Initially, marriage is not something of a joke, therefore, it demands that the two involved are mature minds who to some extent have agreed to marry because now they have studied each other and also resolved to be together for better.
This article is going to highlight the benefits of the premarital counseling, in such a way that you will understand the overview of the importance that is attached to counseling before marriage and then you may adopt the tradition as it is very important.
One other thing a person should understand about premarital counseling is that it helps to prevent future problems that may snatch away the peace of the couple and then culminate in divorce.
Here are the Benefits of Premarital Counseling
1. BUILDING OF COMMUNICATION PROFICIENCY: Since the couple that is engaged in premarital counseling will have to be together always as they engage in a series of conversation with the counselor or the spiritual father, they will be opportune to know each other better and the easily develop communication skills that are best suitable for the kind of their person. There is no doubt that this is one of the best benefits of premarital counseling. Sometimes, we judge people from far, just because we are not yet close to them.
If we always have an encounter with them, there is every tendency that they will reveal some part of the real person they are to us. This is the part of premarital counseling that helps the couple learn how to communicate with each other, either verbally or through actions.
2. IT HELPS TO NURTURE GOOD INTIMACY: Through several questions that the counselor or the religion cleric may ask both of you, you will develop intimacy for each other as those questions are going to do a great job helping you to know each other better. Through these questions, you will get to know what your would-be spouse likes and dislikes so that both of you will learn how to maintain the bond and avoid whatever you feel will tear you apart. You will not only learn what each of you likes or dislikes but also what you actually want in the actual sense. You both must be sincere in the kind of answer you give while the counselor is asking you as your sincerity will determine the result of your marriage in the nearest future.
3. YOU WILL KNOW EACH OTHER’S DIFFERENCES: through the series of therapeutic questions and answers, you will both get to know your differences and how to work it out before the marriages. This is also important so that it will not be a new issue to tackle after marriage. You will have every opportunity to work on each other weaknesses and figure out how to help each solve the problem or if it is addiction issue, you will have been helped by your counselor on the best step to carry so that such weakness will not affect your relationship. At the end of the therapy, you will have understood each other’s personality.
4. IT GIVES YOU THE CHANCE TO KNOW YOUR EXPECTATIONS: Your expectations from your spouse might have been very high before, but when you get to know each other better, you will know how to adjust it in order to suit your relationship with him or her, otherwise, there will be a serious problem in such a marriage that does not seek to know each other better in order to develop the best strategies to use to live with each other. Sometimes, the expectations could be in what our partner believe in so that we can quickly decide if we can still cope with them or not. This will guide us to decide whether or not the marriage plan should go ahead.
5. IT HELPS YOU TO PLAN YOUR FUTURE: The couples will have the chance to plan their future together, since they must have understood each other’s wants and needs, then it becomes very easy for them to identify what is right for them in the future. Sometimes, they may decide to plan on the number of children they should have at a particular time, they may also want to plan what kind of school they want their children to attend if they had. Premarital counseling is an opportunity to know everything you should know before marriage. This means you will not hide anything if truly you want the marriage to work if you eventually marry each other. In fact, if you are barren, you must let him know or if you are impotent, you should allow your would-be spouse know and then if he decides to still continue the marriage process, no problems.
6. YOU WILL DISCOVER NEW THINGS ABOUT EACH OTHER: After a series of scrutiny, you will both get to discover new things from each other. If truly initially you thought you know each other very well, now you will get to know new truth about each other. This will aid you in knowing the kind of spouse you will be spending the rest of your life with. It is like the scene between me and a lady, whom someone told me good things about her and then when I interrogated her, she ended up being the worst girl ever encountered in life. So you must understand your partner because he or she is going to spend the rest of their life with you until the divorce.
7. IT WILL HELP YOU TO PLAN FOR YOUR CHILDREN: Effective premarital counseling will serve as a major guide for you to plan the future of your unborn kids. You will be able to decide what kind of school is the best for them, the kind of environment that the children should be exposed to; you will for long have been saving money on how to take good care of your kids and to provide their school fees when the need arises. Such is the importance of premarital counseling. You will not be caught aware of anything unless you are careless during the therapy.
8. IT HELPS YOU PREPARE FINANCIALLY: By the time you and your partner have arrived at a solution on how to handle the matter of finance in your marriage through the guidance of a counselor, you will not find it difficult to handle matters in the marriage that involve finance as you will be handling it through the professional advice given by a therapist. Issues of conflict due to lack of finance for basic amenities like food, kids materials things and so on will have been settled either through savings or a business you have established as a result of the counseling. You will have no reason to divorce from the financial aspect as that will no longer be an issue.
9. IT HELPS TO REDUCE FAMILY STRESS: We all have different ways of handling stress. Some of us prefer to handle difficult time privately, while some of us may choose to discuss it openly. Through premarital counseling, we may get to know how we react at the time of pressure and so shall we understand each other’s stand at the time of stress in order to avoid unnecessary fight and arguments.
10. IT HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR SPOUSE: Sometimes, we may think we know who our partners really are just because we see and talk almost every day. However, most of the time we are wrong. We tend to hide our real character just because we want to please the one we think we love. It is a professional therapist with the knowledge of how to bring out the truth in you that can confirm the real person. After the therapeutic questions, your spouse will have revealed his or her real personality and through the answers, you will decide whether to continue with the relationship or cut it off to prevent the danger it holds in the future. However, most of the time, premarital counseling guides you to tolerate each other and then provide a solution for your differences.
11. IT GUIDES YOU ON THE DECISION TO TAKE: Premarital counseling has helped save many lives and homes as it addresses the issue of decision making between the couples. For instance, the couples will deliberate on the type of home they want to live. The amount of money to spend, or how they wish to raise their children together. To be précised, most of these decisions, demands agreement between the couple. If there is no agreement between them, this may cause conflict and if care is not taken may lead to divorce. As to avoid this kind of situation, premarital counseling will have in a specific way handle this conflict earlier before the marriage. The therapist or counselor will have observed the psychological expectations of each partner and then strategize a professional solution for them.
12. IT HELPS YOU DEALS WITH THE MATTER OF JOB AND CAREER: Nowadays, it seems we have more of career women and men than we used to have more of full housewives in the olden days. This condition could have arisen as a result of the rapid increase of feminists in the modern day’s era. Since this is the case, you will need to go for a premarital therapy so that a counselor or a religion teacher will guide you on the steps to follow in order to avoid conflict in your marriage. The therapist should be able through his wealth of knowledge strategize a way out for both of you to arrive at a conclusion to how you can live together as career husband and wife. Some people may decide to provide daycare for their kids or higher a house help to take care of the home and children. If this is ok with both of you, it will help a long way to settle your differences.
13. IT GUIDES YOU TO KNOW WHAT ROLE FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS: Before marriage, you will have resolved to know what is the role of family and friends in your marriage? In most cases, some spouse doesn’t like the member of their spouse’s family to visit them too often or to intrude in their personal matters. In some cases, it could be the friends of the spouse that may stand as the foundation of conflict in a marriage. Earlier before the then, this kind of difference should have been known and professional strategy to curb the conflict should have been provided by the therapist. For instance, the therapist may ask both of you a question pointing towards that direction. He may ask you question thus” Can you tolerate the Family and friends of your spouse to have a say in your marital matters?” You get to understand the stand of your partner and how to handle such a situation when it arises in your marriage.
14. YOU ARE EXPOSED TO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT MARRIAGE: A counselor is a highly knowledgeable person, he has been endowed with the knowledge and wisdom to guide your marriage depending on your religion or even though you are a free thinker. Premarital counseling is very vital here as you will learn the wisdom of how to relate with a woman or a man. you will be exposed to different reasons why people behave the way they do and then learn how to handle their matters with patience and wisdom. Premarital counseling will teach you how to exercise patience with your spouse at the time of difficulty and then strategize ways on how to handle your situation when you are under pressure. This powerful move from both of you can save your marriage from a crash.
You have every advantage to determine the fate of your marriage through premarital counseling. It is your choice to go for premarital counseling; however, I have a piece of strong advice for you—for your marriage to stand, go for it.