You know how it pains when you break up with someone you deeply love. Don’t you think you need breakup counseling?
Break up can be defined as the end of a romantic relationship between a couple. It could be a marriage relationship or other relationships like boyfriend and girlfriend that involve romance. If you are already suffering from such trauma in your life, this article will serve as a guide on what to do and how to do it.
What May Cause BreakUp?
A breakup does not just come on its own, something must have caused it. Sometimes, our attitudes towards our partners may have begun the trend of breakup in our relationships. For instance, if you are the type that careless, or don’t respect your partner, you are already inviting a breakup. In most cases, a breakup may arise as a result of differences existing between the partners.
A partner may want black while the other may like white, so, if they cannot result to what decision they can take in order to resolve the differences between them, it may lead to a breakup.
There was a case of a boy and a girl who showed that they love each other very well and were faced with the challenge of readiness to take their relationship to the next level – marriage. The boy was ready to get married as he was getting older while the girl was still young and had the desire to go for her career. They had to break up despite not wanting to. LIFE!
Signs of an imminent Breakup
Psychologically speaking, this may be difficult to figure out. In most cases, the sign of breakup bears resemblance with the sign of busyness. Most of the time a relationship breakup is because impatience from the side of the partners made them thought the other is taking them for granted, therefore, they play along and regret their actions later.
However, it is necessary to point out the signs of breakup as the knowledge is still going to help you identify when your relationship is preparing to crash. There are much signs of which one of them is the normal withdrawal from your partner.
1. They may not be as romantic as they used to.
2. They may not pick your calls again.
3. Series of excuses to avoid you.
4. There will be a prolonged delay in contacting you which was not the case before now.
5. They don’t actually care much about you as they used to care.
6. At the last run, they initiate a breakup.
What is the Psychological effect of Breakup?
The trauma some people used to face at the time of breakup is not something to write home about. This is the reason why we need a therapist or a relationship counselor to guide us on how to initiate a breakup. You can’t just wake up one day and then say, it is over. It is not over until you have maturely handled the case. I learned from a friend a long time how to break up with a girl in a mature way. I think this is the modern way of doing it. Just like the symptoms listed above, you can begin to withdraw from the girl or boy. You will not tell them directly that you are breaking up from the relationship.
Psychologically, after a series of trial and effort from them to seek your attention has been proven wrong, with time, due to human nature, they will give up on you. There are professional ways to initiate a break up of which will be mentioned shortly.
It is not always easy to take action than to say it. Breakup involves emotional confession that you are no longer interested in someone. You know what that means, especially when you still respect that person you are about to break up with. Sometimes, you will want to consider how they will feel after telling them the bitter truth. However, the earlier you tell them what is on the ground for them, the better. This will let them quickly re-strategize and find an alternative as quickly as possible especially in the case of a lady who is getting older and holds high value about marriage.
How do you cope with a Breakup?
This is a big question. How do you cope when you experience a breakup’ expected or unexpected? Many have committed suicide due to break up; I don’t think this really worth taking your life especially when you deeply love that person. It is good you were simply because you truly love the person but still he or she lives you. I often advise that the best way to cope with a breakup is to forget about yesterday. It is not always easy but it really worth doing.
Practice self-care, care for yourself and never look miserable because someone breaks up with you. eat well, go for sports, don’t drink, don’t take a drug, don’t even think of suicide be smart and lively to the extent that the one that breaks up with you feel jealous and wish he or she never do so.
A breakup can lead to positive growth, the period of loneliness and self-observance can lead to growth and discovery. You might end up finding a better person. If you destroy your life just because someone left you, what are you trying to prove them to be? A God or what? You need self-respect in order to cope with a breakup, understand that you are not to be taken for granted. I used to tell people not to give 100% of their heart in a relationship. They should prepare for the day such funny moves may come from their partner.
Mental Health and Breakup
Sometimes, it is easy for us to say don’t mind if someone breaks up with you as if it is easy, that’s what we call motivation. A breakup is not always easy especially when it comes with a strong weight. I will list the factors that determine how painful a breakup affects you.
• The length of the relationship really matters
• The future plan that exists between them for each other
• Expectations for the nearest future
• How easy-going the relationship has been before the breakup
• One of the partners may still want to stay in the relationship
• If the relationship ended with abuse, cheat or infidelity.
Is there therapy for Breakup?
Here is a very important question that needs an urgent answer because it has to do with human life; it is either it saves the life or leaves it to stay miserable and then end up wasting itself. If you experience a breakup, it will lead you to fear, doubt and anger about the gender that did that to you. You will surely suffer some emotional setback for some period until you are able to cope with the situation especially when the ended relationship is the serious one. You will think of lots of things. In fact, you may want to end your life. However, suicide is not the next option; your next option is to seek the assistance of a counselor. A counselor like those on BetterHelp will observe you and also involve your family member in your case if necessary so that he or she may figure out the best and professional ways to help you reevaluate your life once again. A therapist will help you rebuild your self-esteem and help you fight over your depression over time.
You can also help the therapist understand you better. Don’t hide anything from him or her so that they will follow up your case appropriately to arrive at the best solution that will bring you back on your feet. Discuss your emotions with the therapist; let him or she observe you deeply to be of good support for your mental health issue.
Sometimes, it is funny enough that even after some people have a breakup, they still have sex with each other and stay as friends. However, it is better such person that is most affected seek for therapist attention; it may be that they are being cheated due to the emotional attachment that should be resolved for them especially when the victim is a woman.
Should Breakup Create Enmity?
Often, people handle the issue of breakup too childish and therefore can lead to enmity between the two partners. In some cases, they may end up hurting each other in some very bad ways. The breakup should not instigate enmity rather should become a means to turn a new leaf and start a new life. I emphasized on how to initiate breakup above but at the informal and formal point in order to avoid enmity. This is very important because hatred after love is always deadly. All you think is how to destroy your ex. In most cases, what we conceive always will finally come to pass one day. This may lead us into bigger troubles of either human murderer or a condition we will regret for the rest of our life. I have experienced the story of lovers who destroyed each other due to careless breakup. This is why you have to be careful while you engaged in a relationship. Mind what you say or do so that when the time comes to break up, the strength of the pain involved will not be too high for you to handle the consequence.
Can two ex-lovers get back together after a Breakup?
Yes, I have heard about the story of many people who initially breakup and still come back to love each other better than ever. This is why some psychologist used to say reconciliation brings about stronger love. Some people who once breakup due to one issue or the other may later in life resolve the issues and since it does not love that ended between them but that issue that forced them to take that strong decision previously, they may reconcile and become best of friends and spouses. Some will even go to the extent of having children together as a husband and a wife.
How long does the pain of Breakup last?
The pain of a breakup is determined by the factors I listed in the section of mental health and breakup above. Breakup pain lasts as long as the victim wants it to. It is better you fight over it and move on in life than to spend the rest of your life mourning over a breakup. Fine, I understand and respect your feelings, but there is nothing that lasts forever, so should you expect that your relationship will be exempted? It is not possible; this is why you need to expect disappointment in any situation. That will come once in a while.
Bonus Points on Breakup Counseling
I have gathered some bonus point on how to survive a toxic or shallow breakup. I feel like this will help you cope with a life situation, health, sleep, and food. Just like I said earlier, don’t let your mind be disturbed too much upon a breakup. These are some bonus tip to survive a breakup:
• Don’t feel the crack just go through it. Never should you stand around breakup it hurts then the breakup itself.
• Be independent as far as possible.
• Dissociate yourself from your partner or anything that may remind you of the sweet moments you shared together.
• Know your strength and work it to develop new life and skills.
• Go out and laugh with friends.
• In fact, become an adviser to others in the same condition.
• Don’t even think about reconciliation if they don’t show such a sign.
• Be yourself and gradually build your self-esteem.
• Eat well.
• Don’t look miserable at all.
• Mind your business and bounce back to life.
Do you want an online relationship counselor that can help you with your relationship or emotional issues? Please reach out to DeeDee here.