How Do You Define Maturity of Your Partner
Woman! Ever wondered what it feels like, to date someone younger or your age mate? Societal expectations frown at this. Socio-cultural stance on this is that as a woman you’re to be with a man older than you are because he is more “mature” and can “take care” of your “needs”.
Hmmn! Is that really the case? Can/do they take care of your ” Needs” simply because they are older? I beg to disagree. I like to say that every human regardless of their gender has basic needs that must be met for their survival and existence. The food, shelter, clothing.
Those are the basic needs. However, humans are not basic creatures, we are complex. Bespoke. Hence our needs are beyond basic. Asides the basic needs, there are emotional needs. Need to be loved, need to be acknowledged, Need to be cared for, Need to be served, Need to be tended to….etc. On these needs form the basis of love languages.
It is important to note that if an individual does not identify with a particular need, they may not be able to acknowledge the need or solve it. Maturity is a complex construct that a lot of people try to ascertain by the age of the human. Age (according to the years of a person on earth) is only a little fraction of what makes up maturity.
Maturity in a social context is earned by experiences and experiences come by relating with people. The more diversity of culture one experiences-I am of the opinion that- the more quality experience they get; which goes ahead to shape their view of life, hence leading to their maturity (social).
Psychologically, there are six classes of age grouping for a human Chronological age: The age of a human following the numerical count; following the calendar.
The age of a person according to their body organs functions.
The age of a person according to the strength they exude. (Physique).
The age of a person according to how they process information, make meaning of their environment and adaptation to a new environment.
The age of a person following the requirement of the society.
Example: The Nigerian society expects 30year olds to be married or have at least a first degree, however, if a 30-year-old doesn’t have a first degree, the society frowns at that and begins some form of discrimination. Also if a 20-year-old already has their first degree or is married, the rights of a married person are conferred on that 20-year-old.
The age in which a person functions. Example: if a 25year old is taking up bills of their younger ones and playing the role of a parent in their lives, they are not in the functional age as parents, not because they bear a child but because of their parental function.
Having explained this, one can truly understand the complexity of the word maturity. An adult chronologically is not necessarily an adult mentally and other fields seen here. Those older men are not necessarily taking care of your needs just because they are older.
That age mate can be more mature than that older man. That younger person can be more mature than that older man. Care to share your experience on dating older/ younger men or even your relationship with your age mate? Leave comments.
About the Writer Silver is a young vibrant trained psychologist. A renowned fashion design and season Cook. She believes in living her best version of life. Favorite quote "Fate happens to each and every one of us but in the midst of all that is our *choice* card. We decide the effect our fate should have on us and then we can rise above circumstances."