How to get over an ex Detola Deedee HOW-TOS, Lifestyle, Relationship Hacks How to get over an ex. It ended badly, yet you can’t seem to get your ex out of your mind. Trust me, you can know how to get over an ex in simple and effective ways as will be shared in this post. When you love someone so much, it is not far fetched that you may have decided to trust the person and share most of your secrets with him/her. You do things together, spend time together, you are now accustomed to such person; you can feel the smell, the laughter, the cuddle and all the other things that comes with falling in love! Then, the person decides after various irreconcilable differences to break up with you….Whooosh! For some people, they find it easy dealing with heartbreak, I mean their hearts can handle the breakaway that they don’t feel anything. So, no fret But for Emotional freaks like me, it feels like something has been taken away. Like your heart has been ripped out of its cage; that empty and very hollow feeling that comes with the breakup rut is overwhelming, and for most people, it leaves them emotionally shattered and empty. Some people I have discussed with, told me things like: I can’t get him/ her off my mind I have stomach issues, I keep running to the loo whenever I think of him/her I can’t seem to eat I can’t even focus because it hurts so much It is finished, I can’t even love anyone again While some of us may not be able to come to terms with the feelings of losing someone we have become so attached to, we make frantic efforts to see if we can still get our partners back. However in some cases, there are certain relationships that you know it is the end already, no amount of fixing could bring it back. Then, it is suffice to say that the relationship is over! So, what next? For some of us, we do things to take our minds off thinking about that one person we love; reading, jogging, going to the movies, but does it really solve the heartbreak from the breakup? Don’t we still miss that one person we loved and trusted so much? I have a personal story to share on how to get over an ex: My friend, Tosan, went through a break up in 2012 that took her four years to get over! WoW, you say? She loved her boyfriend because he was smart, savvy, lovable and a hunk of a guy. She had relayed to me severally how she gpoing to get married to the guy and how they would live happily ever after. She even confided in me about the number of kids they would have and how they would spread child bearing over the years. Then one day everything came tumbling down and the relationship was over!She was heartbroken for years and could still nopt come to terms to what caused the breakup. I felt for her though, but there was nothing I could do, BoBo was long gone before we could say Jack Robinson. She had to move one, which was the most difficult thing to do when you just had a break with an ex. What I learned from Tosan’s Break Up. Tosan showed me what love means, that you may not be in touch with someone for a long time, but then you still yearn for them. She confided in me even after two years of breakup that she misses him and that she thinks she cannot get over him! Do you feel the same way too? I will explain what you are going through to you. I understood this phase in Tosan’s post breakup life that this is a chemical process as explained by the goodmen project that when we are in love with someone, our brain is surged with dopamine, which is a stimulus that our minds follow similar patterns when influenced. When you break up with your partner, there is a rejector stimulus in our minds that goes on overdrive. Then we will start feeling deserted and unwanted. We begin to crave for a sudden ‘solution’ when we realize that the regular spams of dopamine is nowhere to be found. Immediately after a breakup happens, dopamine will be replaced with a stress hormone termed to be cortisol and a rush of adrenaline. Adrenaline is that energy that comes with the statement; Okay, it is time to get up and pick myself and either sort out issues with my ex or go on the lookout for another lover. When we experience hurt, rejection and disappointment after a breakup, our mental state is usually similar to that of a drug addict who is currently undergoing rehabilitation. We feel lost deserted abandoned, incoherent and incomplete. You have to move on, you just have to! I know it isn’t easy, but you cannpt allow yourself to continue to wallow in abject misery and sulk over spilt milk okay? Contents1 1 How to get over an ex: Open the floodgates of tears2 2 How to Get Over an Ex: The Cut off Cleansing3 3 How to get over an ex: Accept it4 4 How to Get Over an Ex: Process your thoughts5 5 How to get over an EX: Leverage your adrenaline positively6 6 How to get over an ex: Give it time7 7 How to get over an ex: Do not jump into the next quickly8 8 How to get over an ex: Appreciate the YOU that has been abandoned9 9 How to get over an ex: When all is said and done9.0.1 If you need further help and assistance in getting help with respect to how to get over an ex. I am available on +2348067484109. Call or WhatsApp and we will walk through the process together. 1 How to get over an ex: Open the floodgates of tears Cry your heart Out You need to let it all out, the pent up emotions, the reality of what is on ground. Your adrenaline is pumping hot. You are filled to the brim, you feel some sense of sadness, just allow the tears flow! Cry! You need to do this to release the emotions, you can’t continue to deny yourself from the truth. All is not simply well. You want to move on but you can’t do this with the emotions and all that comes with it. The grief, disappointment, bitterness and rage will all make you mushy. Allow it to flow through you and let out the pains.You need to be relieved of the thoughts and what is boiling in you. Just Cry! Just let it out! 2 How to Get Over an Ex: The Cut off Cleansing Get him out of your life Cut your EX off completely, Stop going to where you hang out together. Discard all things that are around you and makes you remember him/ her. Your pictures together, gifts you have received, personal properties hanging around your house. Discard them all! Disconnect all form of communications. Shut out things that link you guys together, his friends, family, colleagues: Shut them all out. It is difficult and you may feel it is totally unnecessary, but then it will make you feel better on the long run! Cleanse yourself, you need to! While in the middle of all these process do not do unhealthy things that will harm your health. Because of the psychology surrounding emotional trauma, you may resort to eating too much, drinking alcohol, or sleeping around to relieve yourself of the heartache. These are very unhealthy ways to heal and it does not portray hoe to get over an ex. You may even make matters worse by causing more complications to your personality and your health. 3 How to get over an ex: Accept it Self-acceptance is difficult but the moment to stop all the ‘what I should have done’ ‘What have I not done’. Stop looking for who/ what to blame and accept that break up has happened finally. There is simply no point looking for what and what, when it won’t bring your book back. Accept the reality and face it! 4 How to Get Over an Ex: Process your thoughts How do you feel, what do you want? Write it down, and process it! How has the relationship made you feel. What are the things you feel you could have done better? Do you feel like you want to pass a message across to your Ex? Not an apology message obviously but a message. Do you feel mad at your ex for the breakup? Process and analyze your position in a journal. Write everything down and read from time to time. It allows you to evaluate your present situation and appraise yourself considering what you should do to better your emotional life going into the future. Writing increases your self-analysis, and by doing leveraging this, you will be able to identify with your self-worth and move on with life. 5 How to get over an EX: Leverage your adrenaline positively As discussed earlier, you will feel a sudden burst of adrenaline and cortisol that wants to propel you into doing things subconsciously,. You can deaden the pain and controls the energy to try new things.I have friends who followed their passion based on the rush of adrenaline they experienced from their breakup. They are doing excellently well as we speak and you can also take advantage of your situation to try new things and follow new trends. 6 How to get over an ex: Give it time You have tried all the above, and still feel the nudge to go hug EX. Give it time, you will be fine. There will always be days when the feelings set in, the need to love and be loved, and then you feel bad for losing someone so important to you. You will feel like crying again. Just get into a corner and let it all out. You need to give yourself time to heal, it won’t just happen at the snap of your fingers. Getting over an ex does not happen immediately. You need the healing to be gradual and slow. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t push yourself too much. 7 How to get over an ex: Do not jump into the next quickly Some people feel the best way to quickly forget an ex is to jump into another relationship ASAP. This is so wrong and you may end up passing all the resentment and bitterness of your former relationship to the innocent individual. You need to allow the bad feelings of breakup ebb away before deciding on entering into another relationship. When you are optimistic and filled with renewed strength and positive energy, then you can decide to give love another chance. If not, you can decide to remain single for as long as it takes. The impact of jumping into another relationship while still dealing with how to get over an ex is something that may lead to you also damaging another person’s emotions while still trying to heal the wounds of the past. Be careful; Do not jump in too quickly. 8 How to get over an ex: Appreciate the YOU that has been abandoned Whilst you were in your erstwhile relationship, there are some of your personality that you have abandoned because you love your EX and because you EX struggled with that part of you. There must have been thing he/she frowned at. May not necessarily be bad habits but just his/her perspective to certain parts of you might not be likable that you had to change. You need to re-visits those parts of you again and see if you can find joy in in those habits. While I would not advise that you take up bad habits, I would just advise that you take those habits that helps you around your path of self-fulfillment before your EX came into your life and you had to adjust those habits. Check the habits out again and gradually let it dictate the pace of your emotional return for you. You Love movies a lot, hang out with friends a lot, spend much time cooking, or you love to window shop. You can check out those habits again and just wallow in them for the meantime, to find yourself. 9 How to get over an ex: When all is said and done You have done everything mentioned above but still lack the emotional return. Then you will need to do one more thing. What were the most beautiful moments you have created with your partner and a deep probing question: How have I benefited emotionally and psychologically from these moments. It is not just about making you happy and smile. Sure you must have benefited something from him/ her during those moments. It is possible that the one reason for emotional dis-attachment is because you have left all your reasons for happiness to your ex. You have become addicted psychologically and expressively to your EX. You are usually a shy person and you ex made you overcome your shyness You are not really confident but your ex helped boost your confidence You have not been organized your whole life but your ex helped you with being structured and responsible Take Note, the only way you can get over this is to begin to take control of those parts your EX were in control of! You need to begin to see yourself in the light that you have failed to believe in. You need to look beyond your ex and try to envision your capabilities. Remember your EX came into your life to teach you an important lesson of life and love. It is now time for you to let off and let go. OK? Let me have your thoughts on this post, if any of the how to get over an ex that has helped you along the way in moving on. If you need further help and assistance in getting help with respect to how to get over an ex. I am available on +2348067484109. Call or WhatsApp and we will walk through the process together. 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