Features

PDA is Cool, Until…

PDA is cool

Anne Akinnagbe is an entrepreneur and owner of Anne Adriano Creations, an interior design company that operates from Lagos. She studied English Language at Obafemi Awolowo University and also Public Relations and Advertising at the Nigerian Institute of Journalism. Anne lives in Lagos with family and is passionate about creative writing. When she is not arguing on facebook over trending matters, she is either climbing a ladder on site or sleeping.

Anne loves love and seeks every avenue to express it. In this interesting post, Anne dwells on PDA and the dangers around it. Maybe you’d learn a thing or two:

PDA is cool, having a clingy boyfriend is exciting, wearing uniform around town together is bliss, until things start happening.

1. He has your next door neighbour’s number, just in case he needs to pass a quick message and you are not reachable. Awwww, how so thoughtful 😍

2. The soldiers manning the opposite compound, you know, they are always outside 24/7 running shifts. He is so kind that after every hangout, he buys beer to bring home for them, just as he is dropping you off, he is handling them one bottle each. The following week you see their chats on his phone, very friendly dude.

3. He hates to see you stressed, so you don’t do your market runs alone. He sees to it that he is there to take you to the market every weekend, not only that, he knows all your vendors, from tomatoes seller, to smoked fish seller, and the aboki that sells onions too. God help you the day you go alone, “aunty how is hunkle na” will almost kill you. Such a selfless guy.

4. He picks you up to work and drops you off every day, such that those fine boys in your estate know not to pull over even when it’s raining fire, “Bros is coming” 🙄

5. How can your girlfriend that looks like a man visit you and even sleep over? Swear that she didn’t touch you. So you girls didn’t even kiss at all? 😠

6. The one that doesn’t look like man, why should you leave him and go hang out with her, ehen, even if it’s your birthday nko? You want to go so she can give you man abi?

Are you paying attention?

7. I don’t get it, how can you be crushing on Trevor Noah and even be posting about him on facebook? Eh eh, what if he is just a celebrity who doesn’t live in Nigeria? So? Is he not a man?

Sigh.

8. Thank God you are home, baby take a picture and send to me nah. Okay, pele you look tired though.

*two hours later

You are in bed now abi? Okay. Please can you go back to that living room you took that first picture and snap again? 😃

9. Nothing good has ever come out of having female friends, I keep telling you but you will never listen. Stop rolling with these girls, stay in your house, you will not die 🤔

10. So because it’s your birthday now, your boss should be carrying you upandan and forming cameraman, doesn’t he have a wife? That’s it! I am not taking pictures with you 😃

Oh. You are tired? You want to break up? No wahala nah. Lemme know how many months it will take you to stop those pepper sellers and abokis that sell onions and the soldiers and your own gateman and the smoked fish woman that they should get used to not seeing him with you anymore. Oh, I forgot all the hangouts too.

It’s your life though, but how long will it take for these people to stop giving you that bad girl look when they finally start seeing you with another gentleman? Will they ever mind their businesses?

What did I write up there? PDA and clingy? I was just joking. Read as ‘man wey insecurity wan kill’, last last nah their type they cheat pass. Na dem go fuck your friend, your cousin, even your neighbour join. Awon spoilers of destiny.

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