Lifestyle Relationship Hacks Soul Lounge


I am an inquisitive somebody when it comes to relationships. The relationship between man and woman(I have to spell that out in full). For the next couple of months, I will be writing about my views, opinions, objectives and the regular questions on my mind about relationship. Big thanks to Deedee.

I have a lot on my mind actually when it comes to relationship and I will share some with you on this journey. At first I had trouble picking the first topic to write about but this topic is the most confusing one I have.

Maybe because I have always wondered why things are like this and I’m still wondering and hopefully I will be able to get some explanations here (I’m thanking you in advance).


So,I have this friend of mine named TAYO. Tayo was just a casual friend until recently. I really can’t say how we left the niche of just been casual friends to close knitted friends but everything changed within the past few months. From the late night chats to the early morning sweet calls. We looked forward to sharing moments.

Everything was looking sweet and perfect. Tayo was an interesting person, we both enjoy each other’s company (at least so he said so too). I can’t deny the fact that I know he truly cares about me.

But after a while, I discovered that I was feeling the extra for him,wanting more from our friendship, don’t blame me, I really like him. Tayo got a wind of my feelings (we all can tell when someone is feeling the extra for us except if you are emotionally blind. Receive sight!) and then he changed.

He reduced the number of calls and our messages went down the drain. I confronted him and he said ” errrm, he is not ready for a relationship” then I asked him” Biko,why were you acting like you were ready for one? What do you think you are doing by going the extra mile with me? Why get that close without defining anything”? Why tickle my emotions until they came flooding in?”. “Why get ideas into my head, going all mushy on me?” Talking about our first kiss and going all romantic om me? Really,don’t tell me that was “just” friendship (that’s pre-relationship) LOL.

I went on and on and after which we discussed extensively. Summarily, dear TAYO wants almost all the benefit of a relationship and yet doesn’t want to commit.

It brought out the inquisitiveness in me and went on a research as to why “some” guys are guilty of this with the help of some of my male friends. I will just list few, please feel free to add yours and enlighten me.

1: Some guys can’t actually deal with the emotional catastrophe associated with maybe heartbreaks and too much loving, so they prefer to just be on the friends with benefit angle(like seriously?)

2: There is also the popular saying “We are wired differently”. Some guys prefer to stay without emotions and just have their fun with no strings. We call them the ‘Fun Guys’. They just want to keep having fun regardless of their age and all. Issokay!

4: Some of the guys want to keep adding the numbers of ‘knacked’ babes to their CV. You know for some people, sleeping with as much girls as possible is a feat that deserved to be celebrated, so instead of being in an emotional tied relationship, they prefer frolicking around. God is watching you!

And after all these answers though, I’m more than clueless and confused. Is God not love? Why run away from it? Why prefer to stay uncommitted? You are expected to be emotionally stronger, why the emotional weakness?

Tayo is not just the guilty one here,same with Deji, Tola, Mayowa, Biodun, Chuks, Ibrahim and YOU, yes YOU!

So guys, Biko always define your relationships,if you know at the end your default ringtone will be “baby, I like you but I’m not just ready for a relationship”. Hian!!!!

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  • Reply
    June 30, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    One more reason dear, one more genuine reason:

    Some of us can’t handle chasing dreams and ‘chasing women’ (lol.. not literally the plural) concurrently.

    You see, some guys don’t even know what their own future holds (yet), so it makes no sense to them and it is not their ‘wiring’ to tag along a lady.

    I agree we need help-meets like the Holy Bible called women, but some of us actually want to fully build and furnish the future, by squarely facing our dreams, so our spouse won’t have to ‘suffer’.

    My 2 cents.

  • Reply
    July 3, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    loved this post, Pls keep the love and relationship posts coming.

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