Roles of a Marriage Counselor: A counselor has a lot of roles to play in a marriage relationship; ranging from being a leader, guardian and a guide for the couples. Most importantly, he should act as a leader rather than just a therapist. Many therapists make the mistake of not acting as a leader to their client, as a result, the counseling given is void at the end of the whole exercise. You will not be happy when the house you built collapses before your eyes, even behind you. This is the reason why, as a counselor, you must know your roles—the part you take in a marriage relationship really matters.
I shall be articulating the roles of a marriage counselor shortly.
What are the roles of a marriage counselor?
This is a very good question that demands an effective answer as the case may be. At first, a counselor should understand that he or she is a role model for the couples. It is so because many couples completely rely on the therapist, they believe you can perform magic. This is one very important thing you must note down. Encourage them to follow promptly whatever instruction you give them as their counselor. We shall outline the roles one after the other to showcase the roles of a good relationship therapist in marriage counseling.
He suggests not diagnose
One of the roles of a marriage counselor is not to diagnose the couples concerning what may be hindering the marriage from success, rather, his job is to give series of suggestions to the couples based on a certain knowledge of couples’ therapy. Most of the time, this knowledge is suggested based on the therapist’s interaction with the partners and the feedback gathered during the course of counseling. Let’s say for instance, one of the couples abuses a particular drug, which is now the reason for constant conflict, the therapist can suggest that that partner, in particular, should stop abusing the drug. Sometimes, it could be that one of the partners disregards the other or not even showing a single concern about their wellbeing, this could also cause conflict, therefore, it is the job of the therapist to find a way out to help the couples manage the problem. You can suggest ways and tips of showing regards and concern to your spouse or partner.
He provides an open Ground
This is another important role of a counselor in marriage counseling. You should provide an open ground through which the couples can express their feeling as it is in their heart. This will allow the couples to understand each other better after the feedback has been shared for them to see.
One thing about marriage counseling is that you have to be careful while you counsel couples. This is very important so that you will not end up ending a marriage rather than strengthening it. As a highly skilled counselor, you will need to control the situation during the discussion so that each of the couples will not fill intimidated and betrayed.
Listen and give advice
One of the most effective skills of communication is to listen. If you have that impatient to listen to your client, in the end, will not be able to provide a better solution to the issue on ground. How do you provide a solution when you can’t listen to understand? One other important act you must observe is to strategize professional suggestions to your clients upon how to improve their marriage relationship. This should be done after you must have carefully listened to the couples.
Bond making in Marriage is Necessary
In some homes, the couples are too individual kind of people, i.e. everyone minds his or her business. This shouldn’t happen in the first place. What is the essence of getting married in the name of love, and then after the wedding, you become so separated—worse than the North from the South? A therapist must be able to figure out a specific way to treat this issue amicably. He must bend the pole stand between the couples by bringing them together as one once again. He needs to teach them how to do things together, from so doing, will they be able to unite both physically and emotionally.
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He/She must be able to build the communication skill between the couples
Every author always mentions this—communication is very important in any relationship. It is the heart of the relationship. The counselor should provide a platform through which the couples will have a long time communicating together. They should discuss many issues between themselves. Make them understand that it is through effective communication they will be able to strengthen their relationship.
He/She must be able to guide them on how to discuss on their expectations
Every human has his level of expectation about life. What is the expectation of each couple about a particular matter? Take for instance, what is the expectation of the couples concerning the kind of school they want their children to attend? Will they be attending public or private school? What about the environment a partner wants or is willing to train his or her children? Is there any agreement between the couples concerning this? Sometimes, the expectation could be based on finance. Probably savings.
What is the level of the discipline of each couple when it comes to making savings’ probably for future need or emergency? These are the roles of a therapist in a marriage relationship. You must be able to figure out a way to ensure the couples resolve within each other how to manage the issue of expectations. Let them understand that adults handle things with maturity rather than get angry up on small issues that can be handled with maturity.
A Marriage counselor should find a way to help the couples resolve pending issues
If the couples are not having an unresolved issue, there will be no need for the invitation of a counselor into the marriage issue. For this reason, you must study the couples through a series of questions to understand the root of the unresolved issues so that you may come up with a good strategy to handle the issue amicably.
To try to stop the couples from abusing a particular drug
Most of the times, addiction also contribute to the issues that arise in marriage. If the couples abuse drug, there is a possibility that they develop a mental illness that will always disrupt the marriage from time to time. In order to avoid this, it is the role of a marriage counselor to arrange a medium for rehabilitation for the couples.
One dangerous thing about addiction is that it is difficult to cure. I came across an article sometimes ago, where the author claimed that addiction can’t be a cure. Anyway, that’s his or her opinion. As far as I am concerned, I think with lots of training, willingness and efforts, addiction will be cured. It may take a long time though. The counselor should not relent in strategizing the best practice to employ, finding a solution to the issue of addiction in a marriage relationship.
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Marriage Counselor must learn to lead the couples
Most couples have the belief that the counselor is their leader. Why did I say this? It is because they believe that a therapist can perform magic or miracle to make their marriage work. This is very important for a therapist or counselor to be mindful of the kind of role he plays while counseling the couples. Your job should not base only on the traditional means—i.e. making suggestions.
You can also find a way to act as a good leader to them. You can show them practical examples either physical or through audio-visual media to further strengthen their understanding of the marriage relationship. If you get it right here, the couples will understand their roles in the relationship and also act upon the principle given to them by the counselor. Remember, you are now an influencer to them, rather than just a counselor who only suggests?
A marriage therapist ensures that there is a mutual understanding between the couples
It baffles me that, some couples allow their childish behavior to play great roles in their marital home. This is a very dangerous psychological disorder that can destroy any home. When a child behaves somehow, people will understand that it is normal for children to do so, but when an adult behaves like children, it becomes a major concern.
If a partner happens to be a childish adult, the other mature partner will have a big role to play. A role of tolerance and understanding. But the question is, how does he play such a role? The answer is with the counselor in charge of such a relationship.
A counselor should be able to deal with the issue of divorce
How painful it is to lose your marriage to divorce. It is something very high in emotional disorder, therefore should be avoided by all available means. Why do you think people seek for marriage counseling? It is to avoid the main threat which is divorce. A highly skilled counselor will have to play the role of leadership here. You need to try all your best to ensure that the couples come back to be one again. Remember, there is a separation in the heart already, and probably, one of the couples is already willing to go—this is a very tough time.
This is the reason why you are called a counselor. At this point, you need to apply a highly professional principle to save the marriage from divorce. Question the couples deeply, ask them to open up to you what exactly is bothering them in their heart. If they open up successfully, you need to figure out what to do to stop the divorce. However, the truth is that you can’t stop a marriage from crumbling, you only need to suggest. Abiding by the suggestion depends on the couples. If they really still want to stay together, it will be easier for them to put your suggestions into practice.
This is one of the critical roles of a marriage counselor.
A Counselor should play the role of building self-esteem in couples
Self-esteem is one important thing we should consider for all human. You cannot achieve anything in life without courage. This is the reason why a therapist should find a way to build self-esteem in couples. Let the couples interact with each other for a specific time. The more time they spend together, the more confidence they have for each other. As a counselor, focus more on this part in the relationship; let them understand that having self-esteem really helps the relationship to last long and peaceful.
A counselor should play the role of renegotiating commitment between the couples
Most of the times, couples might have forgotten the purpose of the marriage they are into. The first tool of keeping marriage to me is commitment. The reason is that; it was the same commitment that led to marriage. Marriage needs a lot of commitments from both parties.
You must maintain the purpose of the marriage from the beginning, if this is not done, there could be serious problems between the couples. If a counselor, can figure out this problem and provide a lasting solution for the couples through the wealth of knowledge acquired in marriage therapy. This should be done in an appropriate manner.
A Counselor should play the role of making a successful Family and Marriage
Family and marriage are somehow into each other. When a marriage is successful, family life will be affected positively. This is because; the influence of the couples makes a good home. The therapist should teach couples how to manage a good home. He or she can enlighten them on the characteristics of a good home manager, so they can learn what is essential in building a good marriage and family. This will, in turn, strengthen the relationship between the couples.
These are the roles of a marriage counselor. If there is any comment or contribution, you can leave it in the comment box below. We would love to hear from you.