There goes this story of a couple.
In the early years of their marriage, the wife was running a pharmacy and she was doing quite well with it though she wasn’t as educated as her husband, she had the necessary skills to run a business to succeed.
On the other hand, her husband was more educated but he was just a support to her in the business. After some years of searching for greener pastures, he eventually got a job befitting of his status academically and intellectually.
As time went on, things began to get better for him, he started making so much money than the wife. He began to meet people of higher social class and others that could match him intellectually. He began to flow with female colleagues with ‘oyinbo’ accent, skimpy skirts and flashy lifestyle.
As a result of his new found social status and class, he stopped having conversations with his wife at home. He started to compare his wife with his female colleagues at work and began to look down on his wife.
He was concerned about his own financial and career growth that he abandoned that of his wife. He totally forgot to support his wife and neglected the fact that two has become one and it is about both of them and not just him.
It is important to note that as a couple, you’re responsible for the growth of your partner. It takes two to tango as they say and what will it profit you if both of you can’t finish the way you started out?
The love you had for each other from the onset should spur you on to improve on yourselves. Boo should watch out for Bae’s progress while Bae should do same.
If your relationship is not helping you to get better, grow better, succeed more, then what’s the essence? Sometimes all we all need is a little push, words of encouragement from someone we love to take that bold step.
Don’t ever get to the point you can no longer relate with your spouse/partner in all aspect of life you would love to. You know the deal you got from the start, it is no more about you but about you both. When one is cold, the other should warm up to the relationship growth.
Whatever you want in your partner, encourage it. Don’t push or impose unnecessarily. Some things are irrelevant and just plain selfishness but whatsoever good things you truly know is good for your partner, encourage and support him/her to achieve that.
Don’t set unrealistic goals for your partner, assist your partner to get better in he/her chosen career or field. Whatsoever she/he desires to be or become, support him/her to grow. That’s all that counts.
Laura Doyle, relationship author, stresses that nobody can be 100% selfish even if that means he/she is only “1% unselfish or maybe 1% generous.” Laura says, “what you focus on increases”, so instead of focusing on your partner being selfish, can you find evidence that they’re actually a giving person?
Imagine if things were reversed. Wouldn’t you want him/her to rally behind you and help you become the best version of yourself?
The man in the story knew his wife might not be sound intellectually like him when he got married to her, he probably knew her potentials; what she wants in life and he just needed to push her to more. Let’s help our partners grow successfully in their chosen niches and be proud of them.
It is unfair on our spouses when we lay unrealistic expectations on them. We are different from each other, more reason we are unique and fascinating. Push your partner only to get better and not because of your selfish interest.
Cheers
Yours In Love
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