4 Sexual Problems Couples Face: We all deal with problems in our relationships; after all, none of us is perfect and we all come with baggage. We’re only human. But what do you do if you’re facing sexual problems as a couple?
Sex is an important part of any intimate relationship, but sexual problems can put a big strain on your relationship, and dealing with these issues isn’t easy. Talking about your sex life with your partner can be awkward and embarrassing too. So what do you do?
In this post, we’ll be looking at four of the most common sexual problems that couples face — and how you can deal with them together.
1. Sexual incompatibility
This is one for all the new-ish couples out there; you feel like you’re sexually incompatible.
You’ve been dating, the sexual tension has been building up, and then you finally have sex — only to find that it’s awkward, uncomfortable and not something you want to repeat. Perhaps there was a problem with nerves or premature ejaculation; maybe you feel like they weren’t giving enough, or there wasn’t enough foreplay, or you just didn’t feel there was any sexual chemistry.
You start to wonder if maybe this relationship is doomed because you’re not sexually compatible. But everything else has been so perfect up until now; what do you do?
How to deal with it: Feeling like you’re sexually incompatible at the start of a relationship is a common problem and can be solved, so don’t worry.
Sometimes, it’s just a case of exploring sex with each and finding out what makes your partner tick — and how they can make you tick — through experimenting and asking them what they enjoy.
If you feel like this isn’t working, you might need to take more definitive action.
Take control; guide your partner in the right direction. When you’re in the moment, place their hands where you want them and tell them how much you love them doing X, or how good Y feels. They’ll love the encouragement and will be more likely to remember your positive responses next time. And if you say it right, your words of encouragement will come across as extremely sexy and enhance your partner’s enjoyment too. That’s what we call a win-win.
2. Erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction is a sexual problem that affects lots of men, both young and old.
However, it’s something we rarely talk about as a society, because a man’s ability to achieve and maintain an erection is often linked to our concept of masculinity and male identity. As a result, when it impacts a couple’s sex life, it can feel embarrassing and difficult to talk about, let alone find a solution for.
How to deal with it: If you’re the partner of someone dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED), then make sure you tackle the issue with tact and care. ED is closely linked to mental health and self-worth and can be very damaging to men. Be kind and loving to your partner; tell him how much you value him and be open to conversations.
You also both need to remember not to blame yourself; it’s not anyone’s fault, and it’s not caused by something that either of you did or didn’t do. ED doesn’t happen because he’s not turned on enough.
Next, remember that erectile dysfunction is completely treatable, and you can solve it. Book an appointment with your doctor; they may suggest some lifestyle changes, such as drinking less alcohol, quitting smoking, losing weight or changing any existing medication you’re taking.
They may prescribe an ED medication like Tadalafil — a safe and reliable long-term treatment for erectile dysfunction. Tadalafil side effects are pretty rare, and taking this affordable treatment will help you to enjoy a healthy, active sex life with your partner again.
3. Your sex life has disappeared
At the start of your relationship, it seems like you’re having sex all the time. You’re young, excited and in love — and this results in a passionate sex life that you both enjoy.
But once this honeymoon period wears off (the length of time varies between couples), you can find yourselves slipping into a complacent sex life where you’re not having sex regularly.
Maybe it’s because you’re both too busy with your social lives, you always feel tired from work, or you have young kids now and you’re stressed and exhausted; whatever the reason, this ‘death’ of your passionate sex life seems both sad and inevitable.
How to deal with it: Keeping the flame alive isn’t always easy; if you want to maintain a healthy sex life as your relationship ages, then you’re going to have to work at it.
Get creative with your sex life: experiment with what turns you both on, and come up with a list of exciting things that you’d like to try together. Who knows, you may find something that revolutionises your sex life.
If you’re finding that one of the reasons your sexual relationship is flagging is down to how busy you are — running around between jobs, childcare, extracurricular activities and other commitments — then make time for sex with your partner.
It might sound weird, but schedule in time for being intimate and reconnecting. This will help you to look forward to sex again, as well as completely losing yourself in the moment.
4. You have mismatched sex drives
This is a common and difficult sexual problem that couples face: mismatched sex drives. This means that one person in the relationship will want to have sex more frequently, and the other person will want to have sex less.
Depending on your sex life, this results in at least one of you being unhappy with the amount of sex you’re having. The person with the higher sex drive can often end up feeling deprived and unfulfilled in the relationship because their needs aren’t being met or they’re constantly the one who has to initiate sex; the partner with the lower sex drive can feel guilty and coerced into sex. This can lead to resentment and a lack of enthusiasm when it comes to sex.
How to deal with it: It’s a tricky situation to navigate as a couple, but it is possible. Of course, there are all sorts of different ways to tackle mismatched libidos, so find what works for you.
Having an honest but respectful conversation about your sex life together can help; sometimes your partner may not realise that this is how you’re feeling.
Try to see the situation objectively too. It’s not something that either of you has done; sometimes, we’re just wired in different ways, and our sex drives naturally differ.
If you’re the one with the lower sex drive, make it clear to your partner that you still see them as desirable and attractive. Show this through your actions too; if you’re turned on, then act on this feeling and be the one to initiate sex. Spontaneity can be extremely sexy.
And if you’re the partner with the higher sex drive, then be patient and try to go at your other half’s pace. Pressuring them to have sex when they’re not in the mood is not good or healthy for your relationship or them. Ask them if there’s anything that they want or need; explore this together and use it as a way to inject more passion into your sex life.
The four examples above are just some of the most common sexual problems that couples face.
These problems can be hard to discuss and solve, but the important thing to remember is that it is you can work through them. Talk to your partner, be open and respectful, and listen to them — together, you can deal with any sexual problems and find a solution together.