How to identify a yahoo plus guy – Christmas is here, and the whole ‘feferity’ of celebration is high in the air. Apart from the fact that a lot of people will be traveling across the country to visit family and friends in the celebration, there will also be the increased spending across board this yuletide period.
I know you will want to hang out with your friends, join them to club, spend (waste) money as if you are not aware of the Nigerian economy, drive and cruise around in all the big cars with heavy metal music blasting from the speakers, tormenting your neighbourhood and announcing your presence that you have arrived! You want to show the whole area that Christmas is once in a year and you need to make your presence known by being ‘KNOWN’.
Well, good to say I am happy for YOU and your friends. It’s perfectly fine, but remember that you need to be careful of the type of friends you hang out with during this Christmas period. A lot of people will come from near and afar to lavish money, money you do not actually know how they came about. All you will be concerned about is helping them spend the cash and living a temporary life of bliss and spendour at this period.
A lot of these friends/ guys that spend money in incredulous ways are actually yahoo boys but you may or may not be aware. The purpose of this post is not to criticize yahoo boys, (I’ll leave the law enforcement agents to do just that). I am more concerned about you, yes YOU!
If you are therefore reading this post now, be thankful and just READ ON!
Truth is, from research, a lot of kidnap and death cases happen during this yuletide season and while this may be a hard truth to swallow, recent cases of kidnappings and money rituals have gone beyond snatching people from ‘one chance’ cars and roads which is the popular reference made on kidnapping. Kidnapping has now move to friends to friends, family to family, family to friends and so on.
Just in case you are already gearing up towards meeting that friend or family during this season, you need to tick these boxes in confirmation of whether he makes money legit or he belongs to the category of guys we are referring to here.
Yahoo boys will allow you revel with them this Christmas period, but when it is time to be used for ‘money rituals’, those friends you follow everywhere will not hesitate in stabbing you at the back, and pushing you onto the next baba, to refuel their already dwindling finances at that point in time.
It is therefore important to let everyone know what, where and how to identify yahoo boys this season so as not to fall victim of your own misfortune.
You know I love you right? Just read on:
1. They are very wasteful
They drive the most expensive cars, make the loudest noise in the club, pop bottles like their lives depend on it. They compete with other guys in the club as well. The squander money on drinks, girls, expensive gadgets all in a bid to create a ‘rep for the street’ as they say.
There is this aura of confidence like there is a bucket of money somewhere that they can just pull out funds from when the one at hand finishes. They can spend money on a 2 million naira wine should ring a bell in your head. What sane legit hustler does that?
That friend you are happily cruising in his car and jumping up and down around town is definitely a YAHOO BOY!
2. Their circle of friends
You are their friends but you are also an outsider. You want to know how?
You will feel like an outsider when you hang with a yahoo boy. See! They have this clique of ‘bling bling’ wearing friends that they cruise around town with. When you join your friend on an outing and you begin to feel like the odd one out, in areas of dressing, how they talk, and what they talk about.
A typical yahoo boy has a couple of friends in the yahoo business that they ‘roll’ with and as soon as you suddenly feel odd and displaced in the group, then you know you are ‘chilling’ with the G’boys!
3. They find it hard to give cash out
I ask people a lot of times why this is so, but then, I have not been able to dig up reasonable answers rather than diabolical references which may not help this post. A typical yahoo boy can take you out spend money at clubs, parties, with his cliche of friends, but will never directly hand over cash to you.
While you feel that your friend is rich and will of course ‘settle’ you from his ‘money’ since he is the big spender at this period, you will be surprised to notice that he will not want to dole out the cash and hand it over to YOU! The moment you realize this when you are out with your friends, then you warning signals should be up and about. You are hanging out with yahoo boys!
4. Yahoo boys and ladies are like 5 and 6
When they move around town, they move with girls of all kinds and stature.
Not in ones or twos, but in tens and twelves. Are they leaders of women? A right thinking, hard working legit hustler will not pack girls around as if their lives depend on it, but when you see a lot of girls around guys this way, then you should be aware of who and what you are dealing with.
Also, you will realize that when you see your friends with different categories of girls every day being introduced to you as their girlfriend, then be WARNED, so that this Christmas won’t be your last. You are rolling with a G guy!
5. When they talk about the exchange rate, MoneyGram and Western Union transfer
A yahoo boy knows virtually all the exchange rates off hand and they will not hesitate to always talk about it. Whether they are with their clique of friends or family, they always seem to know what is going on with the exchange market and current fluctuations in exchanges rates. They also have a dedicated Mallam’s number that they call from time to time to confirm what exchange rate at what time.
6. They mention Baba all the time
The moment you have your friend always calling a Baba. Ha Baba, E kasan Sir, Maa wa yirin after Christmas. Calling in and out, asking questions, seeking clarifications. Developing a serious outlook when on call when the Baba is not the father or family. Be warned, you are gliding towards being used this Christmas period.
7. They live large yet their parents suffer
The moment you compare the extravagant lifestyle of your friend to that of his parents. Drives the latest Range Rover in town, yet the father jumps taxis and buses everywhere. Lives in a tastefully furnished duplex while the parents manages a 2-two room in a ‘Face me I slap you’ apartment, then you should know that friend you are chilling with is a Yahoo Boy!
8. Their lives on Social Media
G boys generally love to show off. Not only in real life but also on social media. You will never see an hardworking individual flash carats of gold, show you the different cars he has bought or the expensive wine he poured on some girl at a club in town on social media. So, check out your friend’s social media pages, if you discover any of this absurd display of wealth and open show of opulence, then you should know you are riding with a confirm G guy.
9. They lie a lot
Ask them how they came about their funds, then you will hear different lies of varying degrees. Infact, lying becomes their second name. They will have to lie to buy legitimacy for their illegitimate money. They lie to get their money squandered and laundered, they lie to make people try to see them as legitimate hard working boys, but isn’t that far fetched already? Isn’t that enough sign for you to know you are wining and dining with the devil?
10. I’d rather die than go broke mentality
They live the fast life. Fast money, fast cars, fast food, fast drinks, fast everything. They are so non-challant and their perspectiveto life is quite different from yours. They just want to eat, drink, spend money, sleep with girls, drive cars and live life with no care about tomorrow.
They usually have this word hanging around their mouths, ‘get rich or die trying’ ‘I will rather go meet papa God before I go broke’. This is the deal breaker for you. As soon as you hear your friends mentioning these quotes or living their lives the fast way, then you need to turn your warning signals up. You are wining and dining with the devil!
Remember that politicians are not even better than Yahoo boys as it is right now. To keep yourself safe this Christmas period, then you need to watch out as well. Better late than ever! Yahoo ++ is the new Yahoo Yahoo.
You want to have a safe holiday this December and henceforth, then be careful the friends you hang out with. There is nothing like Yahoo anymore. the ++ is the REAL DEAL! Have a safe Christmas everyone!
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