You are the war dog, yes you are. Turning your bed to where the jackals engage in their duel. You are the lion, wounding and maiming their bottoms like there is where your piece of ’bokoto’ lies!
You are not ready yet! You know when you are ready? After spending time chiseling and boring the holes to that depth you want. You are now blessed with a lady; virgin or not, who quickly realizes that a lot of sex in her teenage years have done her more harm than good and then decides to ‘preach’ celibacy to you Brother!
You are angry, she is not chaste? So why preach it. However you love her helplessly. There is something striking about her that reaches far into your soul and prickles the emotional you. After all, you are human. Humans are filled with emotions.
Now you love! Oh Pity, but then you have lived a former life riled with a lot of sexual activity. You think you can deal simply because she is that special type of lady who syncs into your world. One, two, three, six months, you enjoy the togetherness, the reduced friction, the jolly ride of companionship and relationship. But something is missing, yea?
The roller coaster, the sweaty bodies on your king size bed. You have hinged your previous relationships on sex. Now you are battling with your new found love because you are addicted. Addicted ‘Bro’!
Now, you are getting bored, the relationship doesn’t excite you anymore; You can’t bore holes like you used to. Now you are at a cross road, you want to go back to your former life of having fulfilling sexual satisfaction yet crave from the loving of ‘Miss Celibacy’.
Take a deep breath and read this. You may be running away from the best thing to ever happen to you, to the life where you only benefit from ‘sex’ and nothing more. You can keep your love life in check even when you cannot dig the well as you used to.
Truth is, platonic relationships can be very difficult and confusing. It takes more than just willpower to stay through to it and still remain a faithful lover. Even after you have managed to talk through the sexual urges, then is now the real situation of trusting yourselves. Please take note of the following when re-evaluating your decisions on having a platonic relationship
1. Think it through
Why do you love her? Because of her body or ‘wha’? What forms the basis of your attraction? Physical, emotional, intellectual? You need to ask yourself, do you really love her? Or you lust for her? If you answer is who cares? I just wanna have a ‘dig’ then she isn’t for you. But if you sit in your space and think critically about these questions. Then you can forge ahead!
2. Define your relationship
You guys need to sit and ask real questions. Are you craving short term companionship or a life long togetherness. You may crave for it as much as you want but you need to put her into perspective. You don’t just love her based on sexual attraction. You really do care about her and intend to have a future with her. So, set limits, re-inforce your values! Consider the impact of ‘jumping into it’ when it seem she isn’t ready! You have always been selfish, wanting to satisfy the urge, Now is the time to put her into consideration. If she doesn’t want it, then be mature and understand.
3. Explore your intimacies
The fact that you have decided to avoid sex does not mean you can’t engage in touching and all other kinds of intimacies.
Touch yourselves, explore; kiss, hug, stroke even go more intensive massage her, find avenues for the erotic parts of his/ her body. Studies have shown that people enjoy pleasurable sensations even without doing the real thing. Communicate this to each other while defining your limits. Life is full of fun without hole digging.
4. Outercourse is allowed.
Outercourse means different things to different people. To some, it may mean sexual activity without ‘vaginal’ intercourse. For some it may even be sexual activity with no ‘penetration’ at all. You would find so many definitions online anyway. For me though, it’s all about the sexy phone calls/text, sensual massage, bathing together, strip tease. All these are forms of outercourse which keeps a mature relationship away from any form of sex or sexual activity.
The reliability on the ability of your partner to keep herself in check is very key. What is he doing right now. What is she doing right now will not help you on your path to platonic’ment. Evaluate your decisions from time to time. Seek to help each other out. To you, she is your sister, and not some random girl you can just ‘knack’ and move on!
Trust your decisions and hers as well. You will laugh last!
Do you have additions to the above? Let’s make this post engaging, drop your comments below!